Love You, Hate Me
by MLMsky4life
Summary: And they could only deny it. Or at least, in the beginning. Who of the two geniuses would give in with the idea of falling in love with the other…? As soon as they grew closer and realized they always wanted it this way, none of them could deny.
1. Wake

_A/N: Thank you __**Black-Dranzer-1119**__ for Beta-ing!!:P Ur the best beta in the world:) _

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. Quite logical, if you think about it…I'm on FanFiction, which means I haven't had the chance to put in the things I wanted to see in it so badly…Or do you think Ohba and Obata would like FF?:) I can imagine, actually^^ **_

_**1. Wake**_

Yagami Light's fate: He had everything others could only wish for, just thrown into his lap. He had all he needed, and didn't even have to work hard for it. If he had to wasn't it a problem either, Light didn't mind working hard. It made him feel useful. He lived with it, was proud of it, but of course, there has to be a downside. Light most likely wasn't able to love. He possessed love for his family and for humanity, but he never felt 'love' in the sense of feeling attracted to someone else, to want to be closer to that person until it would become claustrophobic if it were with someone else than the loved one…No, he never felt that. And he missed it. It was mankind's reason to exist, right? To love. To feel attracted to others, to make new humans, to live your life; and though Light thought love was a useless emotion, did he still miss it. Others talked about it so…loving…

Light had one wish, one he denied, even to himself and no one would ever find out about, he hoped.

Yagami Light wanted to know what love felt like.

_*******_

Dreams. Did Light have dreams? He wanted to become a police officer. He wanted to stay as good-looking and active as he was. He wanted to protect others. He often dreamt about that, about protecting others.

Light had been having more and more weird dreams lately and he couldn't think of what they meant. It was probably something only geniuses dreamt, like he knew too well. Sometimes things that were totally normal to him were misunderstood by others. He couldn't help it, and he never really wished others understood either. The fact that they didn't understand only made him feel smarter.

"Liiiiight!! Wake uuup!!" The ridiculously happy voice rang loudly in his sleepy ears, his eyes opened and the blankets only inches away from his eyes slowly began to take form.

A sleepy "Hmm...mw...Mum..." was all he could manage from under the clean, white blankets that nicely covered him and keeping Light's body warmth with him.

"You don't want to be late for school, won't you?! Today is your Big Moment!!"

Light repressed the urge to press his pillow against his ears and over his face, only wanting to _SLEEP_ longer…

"Today, my son will have the highest score on the National Japanese Test, again!!"

His mother sounded so _STUPID. STUPID_ damn Test. Where was the sleep…? Sleep, nice and delicious _SLEEP_…

"Mum..." Light mumbled. Let him…Only five minutes…

"Come on, don't leave too late!!" Light suddenly realized that far too happy and irritating voice was now close.

Dangerously close.

He glanced quickly at the floor of his room to see a pair of pink slippers with panty-socks in them jumping around happily.

Too close. Way too close.

His mother clapped her hands in excitement and pulled away the blankets. Light moaned again and curled up at the sudden loss of body warmth. D-a-m-n-i-t. Not to mention the fact that he was only clad in boxers, and his mother was now proudly looking at the niceness she made with her own hands and heart. She must have a very good heart for deserving something so great…And that was going to score the highest in the National Japanese Test. Light saw it in her eyes, and… actually her whole face.

'_Lame test...'_

"Good luck, my Light."

After his Mum kissed his cheeks, hugged him, gave him a lunch pocket(why was that necessary…?) and pulled his jacket straight (he wasn't five anymore!!), Light left to meet the girls who had asked him to walk to school with them. Well, actually he didn't exactly leave to meet them…They were just waiting for him at the corner of some street, to just throw themselves at him as soon as he appeared, trying to get his attention. For good luck, they claimed_. 'Idiots...Like my abilities will flow into them if they're with me. It won't help them to concentrate, either...' _

He tried not to roll his eyes when the five girls, who all somehow managed to show too much skin for this time of the year, noticed him and began to squeal. The three biggest sluts, all wearing skirts that distracted other men around to the point where they almost caused accidents, threw themselves at him, and Light was sure he felt a hand touching his ass swiftly.

"Hellooo!! Did you sleep well last night?!"

Light's eyes flew wide open at the sudden question. Indeed, he slept nice, but _NOT_ with the thought of a woman or a girl, or actually anything like THAT… He stared at the girl who currently held his arm, and the short skirt Light could only wish to get hot from, in disbelief she willingly missed.

'_What the heck do you have to do with that...?' _

A slutty look appeared in the fake brown eyes he was now staring into.

"Well, I dreamt about you, Light…"

Light's head got snapped to the other side when another girl grabbed his other hand and entangled her fingers with his.

"I did too…"

And another girl with a jacket that showed half her boobs (Light could only notice and wonder what all those guys found so interesting about those… bulges of fat) appeared in front of him and began to whisper in his ear.

"My dreams were very n-"

"-I dreamt I was at the top of the police, ruling the whole nation."

"Oooh..."

Light pushed away all the girls and was now eying the cloudy sky, to hide the eye roll that just had to come out. Sluts. Annoying.

'_You girls didn't even show up there, only Mum, Dad, Sayu and all the other good people.'_

After a lot of drabble, squeals and other idiotic nonsense, including his ass being groped eight times, Light finally sat down at his classroom, waiting for the white paper to be shoved on his table.

*******

Not long after, he had finished the first part of the test, and so stared out of the window. The test was tiring, but those girls were even more. He knew everyone else either wanted to be him or with him, and it quite frankly bored him. What all the other guys wanted was to have Light's attention of all the girls, his brains, his looks, his popularity… Also the fact that all the other guys wanted to be him was only making them desire it even more.

'_Suckers.' _

All that the girls wanted was to be with him, to have him all for themselves… His body, his attention, his words, his love, his kisses… And the fact that all the other girls wanted to be his girlfriend, only made them all want to be with him even more.

'_Suckers.'_

He didn't even like girls. He didn't feel the 'hotness' other guys were always talking about when they thought about so-called 'hot' girls. Or other guys. They were all ugly, or dumb, or lame or something… No. And no other girl or guy could understand him. As soon as he said something others didn't understand, and that happened quite often, girls chirped about how smart he was and guys looked at him, laughed, and wondered how it must be to be as smart as Light was.

He sighed and thought about the dream he had last night. He was with Sayu, his Dad, his Mum and others he liked (no other girls or guys from his age, anyway). They looked happy and proud. "Light, your brilliance saved us all...You are the best!!" The world was at peace...The whole wide world…

"Yagami!!"

Light blinked. The voice seemed to come from so far away, but apparently the whole class had noticed, everyone stared at him and his handsome features, now covered in faked respect.

"Yes, Sensei?"

Light knew the teacher didn't like him. Light probably looked as bored as he was during class, and he still scored far too high grades…So the poor man had practically nothing to complain about.

"You were dreaming again, huh?! Have you finished your test already?!"

"Yes, Sensei."

The teacher looked at him, surprised for a moment before he walked away again. Light was sure he heard him mumbling something about how strange it was that someone who dreamt so much could still finish tests, especially a hard test like this.

Light sighed again. He felt alone. He usually felt alone, but then in a special, a genius way… like he was better than the others… Alone at the top. But now he really felt alone. He wished someone would talk to him, really understand him; but it wasn't really likely he'd meet someone to talk to in that way. It just... Wasn't likely. Or at least not for the next ten years. Maybe, as soon as he'd be at the police top, he'd meet smart people, other geniuses. But there wasn't really a chance there would be someone who looked good enough for him to fall in love with. He sighed again. And again. But the lonely feeling refused to go away.

'_I don't think I'm able to love anyone else in that way_.'

_*******_

"Watari."

Watari looked up at the young man who was sat in a nearby chair. His knees were hugged tightly to his chest and he sat in front of a laptop with a microphone and a voice recorder, making a somewhat strange contrast with the old-fashioned room, with dark red carpet and oaken furniture. The young man himself gazed at Watari with a black-underlined but still awake and intense look, too wide clothes that didn't really fit around his lithe body, and a white and equal skin. He had his head turned to Watari, who looked back and smiled.

"What is it, Ryuzaki? Have you finished the Stockholm-case already?"

"Yes. It took me two days to find out that it was Berglund. An average, but important person who manipulated his colleagues to kill each other or commit suicide, by killing himself in a way that'd make the colleagues suspect and kill each other. The whole company would collapse. The company was owned by his older, more successful brother, who also stole his wife. The wife thought it was the brother who killed Berglund, and killed her husband, and after that herself. Other details are included in the summary I'll send to your e-mail address. Please hand it over to the prime-minister, and tell him to keep it as a secret. The local police took care of the survivors and other targets."

"You did it again, did you? Only two days..."

Watari looked at the young man/boy, still not knowing which one of the two it must be. It wasn't really rightful to call someone who had been living for 25 years now a 'boy', but the flawless skin without even a trace of hair growing on it, the high cheekbones accentuating the size and shape of the curious eyes and the smooth jaw line made it hard to believe the boy was older than 18. His slender frame and same white and wrinkle- varicose vein- and- hairless skin made it only worse… Or better, depending on your perspective. And he was so smart and hard-working. Two days. Watari always wanted to hug him like a panda plushy, but knew it would harm their professionalism… And that would be bad. His thoughts got interrupted by the deep voice, the voice that was one of the last reasons to call L Lawliet a 'man'. If he would've had a higher voice, everything that made him more than a teenager would've been the things he did for the world and the number of candles on his birthday cake. Which he also loved too much for a 'man'. Oh, Watari's thoughts were floating away again…It must be his old brain…Watari decided to seriously focus at the meaning of the words the boy was speaking.

"…And we better celebrate it with a chocolate cake and a break. We haven't had a break since the Namibia-Serial Killer-case in June.'

The poor boy sounded tired when thinking back to it. Watari remembered Namibia, it had been a hard and very dry time where L had caught some kind of African disease, and was forced to turn back to Wammy's to recover. This sounded better, a real break for simple relaxation.

"What kind of chocolate do you want on the cake, Ryuzaki?"

A childish shine of happiness appeared in the wide and quite adorable black panda-eyes.

"Oh... Every sort you can find."

_*******_

"Congratulations, Ryuzaki."

"…?"

Panda Boy blinked when Watari walked in with his arms full of white rolls of paper and a big white box.

"We haven't celebrated your birthday yet, because the lack of breaks. Here, a present for you. Don't shake it..."

"...Oh...?"

A smile crossed Watari's face as he saw L's look full of surprise as he took the big white box with the Bakery Strawberry logo on it.

Watari thought only briefly about how much effort it took to get that pie to North-Russia where they currently were. Bakery Strawberry was the L's favorite bakery in Winchester, and Watari knew he still tried to find more proof for the perfection of that bakery- No matter where they went, he always asked for stuff from new bakeries.

He usually enjoyed every cake, no matter where they went, but nothing tasted as good as home. Watari understood only too well. He already found it wonderful how the one who could have been his son still saw Winchester as his home. Said person now opened the box, and his lips parted slightly when he saw the baked good that could have almost been described as being work of art.

"An extra large chocolate-strawberry-mocha pie, filled with whipped cream, oh, and a lot of letters from Whammy's. Here, Linda drew you as a panda. A masterpiece, isn't it?"

L took the roll of paper and looked at it. A drawing of him wearing a black shirt with 'Panda' on it. Perfect. It looked quite realistic, and the object of the drawing adored it like he did the pie, the perfection and creativity...

"Ah... A masterpiece..."

"They miss you, Ryuzaki. Maybe you should go back tomorrow to see them?"

The childish smile got broader, not hesitating for even a second. He should. Tomorrow, the World's Three Greatest Detectives would go back to his home and the rest of his considered-as-a-family.

_*******_

"L!!"

"Seriously?!"

"It's him!!"

"YAY!!"

"L!! L!!"

Before L Lawliet could somehow defend himself, he was smacked into the green grass of Wammy's by such a hoard of children that a pedophile would be jealous. Behind him, five children ran to Watari, hugging his legs.

"Poor uncle Watari will be hugged too!!"

L stared at the old building standing fiercely in the middle of a big green yard smelling like the delicious green trees behind the house, and the fresh and healthy grass, the old clock, the bells clinging in his ears. He suddenly realized they shouldn't be doing anything right now but reflecting the sun that had appeared just before Wammy's came in his sight.

"They're ringing the bells for you, L!!"

L felt a shadow fall across his face and he noticed the outline of Linda's blonde head leaning over him and perfectly blocking the sun from his face.

"Hello Linda, I got your portrait of me..."

A surprised smile painted the face of the head hanging above him, proud of having L mentioning something she made.

"Oh really?! Did you like it?!"

L smiled.

"It was awfully realistic."

"Ohh, Thank you, L..."

L felt a soft peck on his cheek and smiled. _'This much love…'_ He began to wonder why he was always somewhere else. He went everywhere in the world, but never HERE. During Christmas he always returned home for a few days, but after that he would be busy with all the Christmas serial killers who seemed to be a real plague every year.

He suddenly felt more than delighted when he saw three faces appear in front of him he knew very well.

"Hello, L."

"You gotta tell us something."

"Something really important."

All the other children took a step back and ran to Watari to greet him too when Near, Mello and Matt pulled L upstairs and pushed him into a comfortable chair in front of the window. Matt locked the heavy and wooden door quickly and checked it twice to make sure no one could hear them. Then the three turned to L again, who had pulled up his knees and now bit his thumbnail, looking at his successors-to-be curiously. Mello took a step forward and looked at L with his never-fading passionate eyes.

"Now you gotta admit us something, L."

"Something really important."

The interrupted Mello's head snapped to look at Matt. The goggle-eyed boy looked back, not knowing what to do with his hands since he forgot his Gameboy Advanced Golden Edition in his hurry to see L.

"Shut up!! He already knows how important it is!!'

Matt shrugged and held up his hands next to his shoulders to indicate that he didn't want to interrupt Mello.

"I wanted to build up tension..."

Near only twirled his special lock around his finger.

"Calm down... Like this he'll never tell us..."

This time Mello held his head still and tried very hard to show Near he ignored him, and he turned back to his amused victim.

"L, tell us. Is it true that you, in the now full 25 years you've lived, never kissed anyone?!"

L's amused smile didn't change in the slightest way when Matt joined in again.

"And that automatically means you're a 25-year-old _VIRGIN!!_ You never did it, did you?!"

"Not true… Usually whores don't kiss the ones they pleasure."

Mello pointed at L while glaring at Near in a 'who-the-heck-do-you-think-you-are?!'-way. How does that stupid albino dare to indicate that L couldn't find anyone to ...?!

"Who doesn't want to kiss our panda?!"

L blushed and smiled. Mello was so strange…

Near ignored Mello's fire-shooting look and looked at L calmly.

"If you really wanted to, you would've gone to a whore, and if you liked men you would've gone to a male whore. I think you're asexual."

L eyes glided over the walls covered with book shelves and photos from all the Wammy Kids, including himself when he was younger. He smiled at the bored and black eye-lined look of the fifteen-year-old L Lawliet for a second. A lot like Mello actually, a real rebel passionately hating boredom and losing. He also remembered the blue lock in his hair, which eventually became a whole blue mop of hair, including blue eye-liner he always used to make the contrast between his eyes and skin larger.

He turned back to the boys standing in front of him and decided that he must be the weirdest of the people filling the quite big and antique room.

"And why... do you guys wish to know this...?"

Mello took a step forward again.

"Will we end up like you?! I don't want to be asexual!!"

Matt took a step in Mello's direction, shocked how anybody could hurt the Holy Panda…

"Mello!! You'll hurt his feelings!!"

L's eyes followed the way Mello grabbed Matt's arm, pulling him closer to glare at him. A look that told everyone Mello could hurt whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted…

But L noticed he pulled Matt a bit too close in the wrong places to have nothing to do with physical attraction.

"Mello, if you're not asexual, that special moment will come to you sometimes. It may come soon, if you're not careful."

Matt and Near both blushed, but Mello didn't notice, released Matt's striped shirt from his grip and turned back to the smiling panda.

"Answer, L!! Are you asexual?!"

Honestly, L didn't know. Seriously not. He had never felt anything like physical attraction to anyone. They were too dumb most of the time; and if they weren't, they were ugly. Or too young or old, like Watari or his successors. Yes, actually...L thought of himself as asexual. He didn't fear getting himself off though, after he solved a case and needed something to sleep on, but he never had anyone to really fantasize about. Doing himself felt good, but in the same way as when he rubbed his feet or went to the (private, he didn't show his face, and therefore not his body) sauna, to relax. He didn't really want Watari to see him doing that though, but...

L stared at the ceiling for a second, before he turned back to the over-interested blonde and the two boys standing behind him, both ignoring the one who talked for the three of them.

"Yes, I think I'm asexual."

Matt tilted his head to the left.

"That must be very weird. How does it feel?"

"As L, feelings like that would only get in my way. It's better like this, and eating cake and solving cases is satisfying too."

Mello shook his head in denial. Poor L. No sexual feelings, no falling in love, no hotness, no wet dreams, no heat radiating in the air when coming close to a certain someone wearing goggles, no secretly creeping into his bed and listening to his snores and mumbling, no warm feeling in his stomach when taking away the video games from him and feel him wrestling with him in an attempt to get the plastic piece of electronics back…

"Jeez. It must be very, very boring."

Matt shook his head too, as if copying Mello, thinking the same as Mello at the same moment…

"Unbelievably boring."

Near blinked a few times as if considering something. No endless doubts over a certain blond, no rivalry with Goggle Boy, and a thing that he and L had in common, but… No butterflies, no dreams, no reason to do something else than puzzling all day long and actually talk to people.

"I can't really imagine it, but it sounds useful…"

Near twirled his locks around his finger again and L smiled. These boys… How lucky he was to have them, know them and be able to talk to them. He wondered how it must've been to be the same age as them. He'd probably be the one battling Mello all the time with smart arguments, watching Matt's video games for hours and play with sweets together with Near. He noticed Matt wasn't gaming, and how strange it was to see. He looked at L with calculating eye, his head tilted to the other side, and L didn't miss the sudden blush and shy look that appeared on the redheads face.

"Can you imagine our panda doing something...?"

Near blushed unnoticeably when his gaze slid over L's body; actually he could. He was getting hormonal, he noticed, and L always had been attractive to him somehow, but… Yes, he could imagine L doing things. With him though, it would be pedophilia, he realized, and feels a slight pity. Huh.

"Yes, actually I can…"

"If our panda is asexual, and we can imagine doing him things, I think it's clear that we aren't asexual!!"

Near and Matt glanced at each other for a second, indicating how not-true that statement was. Mello huffed as if he wanted to scream: 'Hell, I'm not asexual!!'. L thought about the way Mello always touched Matt, about the porn magazines Roger took away from him half a year before and how Near and Matt always had to straighten up Mello's sexual remarks. No, Mello…

"Mello, I can say without too much doubt that the chance of you being asexual is almost zero."

The blonde's eyes widened and looked at the strange-but-nice-looking young man in front of him with wide eyes almost surpassing L's.

"Phew. If you say so..."

First, Mello was only glad. After that, he went happy. Thanks to the man in front of him. The Panda-man. The curious smile, the black lines…L. He realized something. L was back.

L back?

L back!!

L!! Wohoo!!

L instinctively pulled his knees down before Mello could break his ribs on them, and suddenly, Mihael Keehl crushed him into an embrace that almost fractured his own ribs. He wrapped his arms around his sort-of younger brother, and realized he hadn't hugged anyone for more than half a year… and he missed it. He took the other two boys in his arms too, and enjoyed the warmth of the arms around him, and all the love. Love. Family love. No Love-love. That was better, someone celebrating his 25th birthday who'd like three under-aged boys hugging him in a sexual or romantic way was considered 'pedophile', and L definitely wasn't. He was nothing, actually. Only 'asexual'. Strange.

The air felt cold when the boys released him after a few minutes of hugging, smiling and realizing he was back home.

_*******_

That night, L couldn't sleep. He didn't really sleep too much usually, but now he laid in his bed and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the sleep to come.

He hated that.

Not sleeping wasn't rare for him considering the amount of sugar, coffee and tea that kept him awake all the time, so he could continue solving cases and being L. But now, there was nothing to solve, nothing to deduct, and it made him feel less useful and more unsatisfied. There was also nothing (no one?) to fantasize or dream about. He began to think about everything he didn't have.

Parents, a real family, friends, personal contact with others than Watari or the people from Wammy's, a love or anything that goes with love, or any experience with the way people make other people.

That was also a reason for a lot of people to kill. He solved thousands of cases about people who had killed someone else because they had seen/heard/done something that ruined a love life, whether it was their own, their friends', their love's, or a family member… People seemed to get stuck in their feelings and do things they regretted… or didn't regret. Sheesh. L was happy he didn't have feelings like that. But on the other hand, it must be exceedingly good if people were willing to commit murderer for it.

'_Somewhere, it pinches… Maybe I feel a bit alone, surrounded by Near, Mello and Matt who seem to be lovers, rivals and friends at the same time. What if I met someone? Smart, pretty… Special… Would I fall for that person…? How would it feel…?'_

L finally fell asleep, to dream everything he did have: He was the World's Three Best Detectives, he was a genius, he could eat everything he wanted without getting fat, he could stay awake for as long as he wanted without consequences. (Well, his bags, but the ones who ever saw his face either didn't care or called him 'panda', a loving nickname…)

He had Watari, and Near, Matt and Mello, who were like younger brothers to him; he had a large amount of money and information from all over the world that everyone wanted. He had exactly the right voice that seemed to impress everyone all over the world; because even through how his voice got manipulated every time, the way he spoke was confident. He was confident himself; and strong, self-conscious and slept in the best hotels all over the world. He was L.

Unlike in others dreams he was sharing it with someone else… Someone who looked at him, talked to him… He couldn't recognize anything about the person him/herself, about what he/she said or… anything, but it felt so _good_ to be with that person...

The day after, he was a bit more happy and cheerful than usual. But no one else had to know why.

_*******_

_A/N: What were actually your opinions about the first two parts?^^ I found them too corny, and I'm thinking about re-editing them away again...What do you think?^^ Review, plz...^^ Only this chap, kay?:3_


	2. God

_A/N: Dear canon-hating people, please ignore the first half of this^^ I liked writing it^^_

_**2. God**_

The usual classroom. Dark with fake light coloring the room making it seem a bit yellowish. The same boring people, the same classmates reading manga under their desks and behind the usual windows the usual outside world the students of Taikoku Academy were always staring into, watching the cars driving to an unknown location to live their everyday life, to do the things they wanted or didn't want to do. Clean cars that reflected the sunlight ever so brightly, dirty cars dully passing the flashing neon billboards.

_Again. _

Yagami Light also stared outside. Walls. Windows. Trees. The clean tiles of the square, the sheet of paper- probably a test someone discarded- wandering around, floating on the wind.… So boring and lifeless…

_Again. _

The teacher yelled.

_Again. _

"Yagami, wake up!! Tell us..."

'_Blah, blah...'_

Light answered.

_Again. _

A small book fell out of the air and hit the ground.

_Aga- ?!_ A small black book? Falling? Out of the air...? Maybe someone dropped it out of an airplane...? No, that was unlikely...

What was it…? Why did that book fall out of the air…? It just laid there, no one else had noticed it…Light felt a flicker of curiosity. He wanted to pick it up, to study it. For the first in a while, he felt a tingle of another feeling than boredom or lone in his chest. Outside, he wanted to pick it up…How long would this hour take…?

Finally, the bells rang through the modern, but boring building of the school Light studied in, day in, day out.

He tried to look relaxed as he walked outside to pick it up. A black book. With white letters in the front. It looked old and discarded…

_'Death Note...'_ He opened it to find text on the inside of the cover. _'How To Use...Huh, it's in English? The human whose name is written in this notebook shall die. Heh, rubbish...' _

His head hurt. It was a wonder no one followed him outside to see him pick it up... rubbish. Hell. Light put it in his bag, only to walk into a few drooling girls who had showed up out of nowhere as soon as he turned around.

After another few disturbing hours ("Yagami-saaan, do you want to walk home with us...?" "No, with us!!" "You don't even live in the right direction, slut!!" "That only shows my affection for him!!"), he was finally home. Heh, no one around. Sayu and Mum weren't home today...? Was there a sale or something…? Nice... He liked being alone, and today it also meant that he would have the chance to study the notebook without being disturbed. Sitting down at his desk, Light switched on his desk lamp before flipping the notebook open once more.

_'The human whose name is written in this notebook shall die.' _

_'The cause of death must be written in this note within 40 seconds.' _

_'If the cause of death is not specified, the victim dies from a heart attack.' _

_'Other details of the cause of death must be specified within 6 minutes and 40 seconds.' _

_'Keep the face of the victim in mind when writing the name. This is to make sure others with the same name are not involved.' _

_... _

'_This sucks.' _

Light lay down on his bed, and tried to relax a bit. Today had been disturbing… more so than usual. Something had been bothering him... It was tiring, he didn't know what it was, but there was something that kept him busy in the back of his mind. Probably his lonely feeling… Could it be caused by the weird dreams about being alone at the top? He dreamed about that almost every night, and something else, about himself doing... himself. Sometimes, he saw himself lying down on his back, looking up at himself, his face glistening with sweat and his expression a mixture of pain and ecstasy. Pretty.

Other times, he looked up at himself to see harsh eyes look back, filled with evil and lust.

'_Weird.' _

...

But still pretty.

'_Am I gay? __No...It must be because of the lack of people to think about like this. It's only logical to dream about myself under these circumstances.'_

His thoughts went back to the black notebook lying with his stationary. Death Note. The one who thought about this joke really made work of it... Should he try it? Maybe someone at school? Hmmm... No. It must be a criminal.

Someone who really does wrong.

In an impulse, Light opened the notebook and grabbed a pen.

'_Wait...If I kill someone, does that make me a murderer...?' _

_... _

'_I take this far too seriously...' _

Light turned on the television to see a live news flash begin, about a criminal who robbed a bank and kept a few children and teachers hostage in a prime school.

A criminal.

Light hated criminals.

Light had always hated those who made other's lives go for the worse. He'd always wanted to protect others, his friends, family, his classmates and other ones he liked… And that mostly meant making sure they wouldn't be hurt. And those who killed others were definitely bad. They should be killed, the world should get rid of them, and there were so many of them… This one wasn't even better. Maybe he could use him…? In another impulse, and just to prove this stupid book wrong, Light wrote the name of Torou Otoharada, whose picture showed up with his name written under it, in the Death Note.

He waited, not expecting anything to happen. Ten. Twenty. Thirty. Thirty-five, thirty-eight, thirty-nine... Forty seconds later, still nothing happened. Duh. Like this could be real...It would've been funny if it was. Killing criminals like this didn't sound bad, but it was impossible… Ridiculous he even tried to prove this to be wro-?

"What?!"

"The victims are coming out!!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have just received that Otoharada has collapsed!!"

'_!!' _

"Eyewitnesses say that he just fell to the floor, and didn't get up!!"

Light didn't hear his chair fall to the floor as he jumped up in horror.

'_What?! Heart attack?!'_

"Liiiight!! Dinner!!"

_'For how long has she been home?!'_

Light startled and quickly put away his Death Note. What, why did he…? He laughed twitchingly to himself when he realized what he was doing…This notebook couldn't be real, it had to be fake, there was no way…

"Wait!! Wait a minute!!"

'_One successful test doesn't prove anything...'_

After a very disturbing dinner that Light didn't really join ("Light is in looove!! He's dreaming again!!"), Light walked to the yuku, carrying the strange notebook with him.

In his class, he watched as Sudou pushed Ryou to give him 2000 Yen.

A bully. Despicable. Another person disrespecting other lives and trying to get better by taking advantage of someone else's weakness.

'_Maybe I should try it on Sudou...?_'

"Liiiight-saaan!!"

Someone dared to call him by his first name, apparently. Should he try the Death Note on one of the brainless sluts…?

Light sighed when a girl ran into him and took his hands, to hold them up and show everyone around she'd caught Yagami Light's hands. Light tried to ignore it. He felt lightly disgusted that someone dared to invade his personal space like that, but he wouldn't do something low like hitting a girl, only because she was annoying. He had better things to do than being nice to her. She didn't do anything to better the world…Was he really everything the girl could think about…?

The girl smiled at him seductively.

"Light, will you go out with me tomorrow? I want to tell you something..."

"No, sorry, I'm not interestedtoday."

The girl stared at him in disbelief when he walked away and took a seat without even glancing at her.

After the teacher cracked a piece of chalk against his head and yelled at him again, Light sniffed the fresh outside air into his nose and looked around. The world was rotten. Everyone sucked. The world would be better off without all those people. It would be better if someone would judge over them, like a god... If God didn't do it himself, who could...?

Keeping his head lowered, he watched as a few motorbikes stopped around a young woman and the owners of them began to intimidate her. He noticed a guy, calling himself 'Takuo Shibuimaru, aka Shibutaku'… A guy who assaulted women…That was a crime too. Women always seemed vulnerable and weak to Light, and though they irritated the shit out of him sometimes, they couldn't protect themselves against violence. They needed help to overcome these situations, and luckily he was here to help.

He walked in the magazine store, picked up a shojo magazine he secretly liked to borrow from Sayu when no one else noticed, opened his notebook and began to write different versions of 'Takuo Shibuimaru' in it, keeping the guy's face in mind which he could see through the window, and wrote 'traffic accident' under it.

Light looked up.

'_Allright...What happens next?!'_

Forty seconds after Yagami Light wrote the first version of the name in the notebook, Takuo Shibuimaru followed the young lady who saw a chance to escape to the road, on his motorbike.

"Taku!!"

"Takuo, watch out!!"

As if in slow-motion, a truck appeared out of nowhere, missing the lady and slamming into the biker, throwing both the man and his motorbike down the road, shocking everyone around, including the young boy holding a shojo-magazine with a notebook in it...

Light stared at the man who lay down on the street, his mouth wide open. The notebook was real. The human whose name is written in this notebook really did die...

He ran away, feeling sick… He killed them.

_Two people. _

The rambling of the organ in his chest increased to the point of pain.

_Two people. _

He looked at his hands that killed them.

_Two people. _

The cold sweat ran over his face. He killed them. No, the first one was a criminal who deserved to die.

But the second...? Was he really that bad that he deserved to die...?

He clenched his fists until they trembled from the pounding of his heart. This notebook must...

His heart stopped for a second when the face of his little sister flickered in front of his eyes, causing a little fire of determination in his chest. Goosebumps. A strange feeling of hate filled his chest. No. This was how he always thought, wasn't it? This world was rotten. His heart continued to pound, but no longer out of anguish. It had disappeared, only determination remained…

Someone who judges over them… Like a god.

_God. _

He hurried home, holding the notebook against his chest, breathing desperately to go faster. Once he was home, he searched for a place to hide the Death Note. In his closet... No, maybe his mother would put clothes in it to do him a favor and find it. Under his mattress…? No, that wasn't safe either and Light wanted it to be easy to hide and use it. Between his school cahiers…? No, Sayu would accidentally take one out of curiosity, and it would be _THIS_ one…

After five minutes of anxiously stepping around in his room, most likely resembling an idiot, he hid the deadly notebook in his drawer, under the fake diary he wrote in once in a while to make others think he was attracted to girls, like any normal guy of his age. It didn't matter now. He wasn't normal anymore, he'd never been. He was extraordinary, and from now on, he would be even more so.

He took a shower to wash away the sweat. He didn't want to know what he'd smell like if he would sleep covered in it. He lifted his head to the cool water.

A god. Could he do it?

Could Yagami Light save the world from all the evil?

He washed his hands. Those soft, lightly tanned hands with the long, slender fingers killed two people. He took soap and rubbed them until they looked pink. He dropped the soap on the floor and slid his hands down over his arms, and held them tightly crossed against his a moment, he felt very weak and defenseless.

But that was only a moment.

He opened his eyes, washed his hair and body harshly, stepped out of the shower and dried himself, pulled on a boxer, ignored Sayu who asked him if he knew where the shojo-magazine was she bought last Saturday, and shut his door. He turned off the light, fell down onto his bed and pulled the sheets up over his head and squeezed his eyes shut; but of course, there was no way he could sleep. His mind struggled to understand what had happened that day, but even then it seemed so unreal . A strange notebook. The human whose name is written in this notebook shall die.

Light killed two people with it.

Murderers?

But Light… Was he a murderer himself...?

The continued pound of Light's heart forced him to breathe in short quick pants and a thin layer of sweat had once again coated his skin. His stomach hurt. His head almost burst. A murderer. A god. Murderer. God. Murderergod. Murdergod. Murdgod. Mur-

Light blinked.

It was almost 4:30AM. Shit. How long had he been lying there?! Light had to sleep now. He felt his head throb.

Then, finally, he felt himself slide away in the dark. Yagami Light finally fell asleep.

That night, Light had the strange dream again. The world was at peace… Like in his other dreams.

Everyone was proud of him. Like in his other dreams.

He saved the world.

Like in his other dreams.

But this time... He was holding a notebook and a pen. He was standing on top of the world.

Like a god.

Like the God of the New World.

A god. The God. The ultimate.

'_I am... the God of the New World.'_

_*******_

The next day Light was once again in class, his head throbbed and his eyes were heavy from lack of sleep. His mind refused to rest and the same thought kept running through his mind.

God. Of. The. New. World. Light. God.

Wasn't there anyone else who could do it? Anyone...?

That would mean passing this power to someone else. It would mean that he had to watch someone else judging those criminals…Others would make mistakes, no one should find out about the identity of someone passing judgment on criminals…

Light opened his eyes. No. He was the only one who could do it.

From that moment, he was sure. Light Yagami would become the God of the New World. He would be _justice._

'_With this notebook…I'll change the world.'_

*******

'Gwaaaah...'

'Hmwww...'

'Mmmm...'

The sound of three teenage boys as they woke up slowly wailed through the large, bright bedroom. It was the end of November, and the yellow leafs from the big oak standing next to the house had all disappeared from the branches of the tree that tapped against the window. A blond boy opened his eyes, to inspect the room for a clock or anything.

"How late is it...?"

An albino stretched uncharacteristically and blinked at the light falling into the room. It was cloudy today, but the sun still found its way to Wammy's House's south-west windows.

"It's already morning..."

Between them, a redhead with goggles hanging around his neck tried to roll around, to discover that he couldn't move his right hand.

"..Mello...Get your ass off my hand..."

"WHAT?!"

The goggle boy tried to pull his hand away from under a certain part of the blonds' anatomy, and got hit on his head with a firm fist. The albino boy sat up and stared at them.

"What's wrong?"

"MATT GROPED ME IN MY SLEEP!!"

Goggle boy felt his head where the aggressive blond had hit him and looked hurt.

"No, I didn't, I woke up with you breaking my hand with your ass!!"

"AND WHO PUT THAT HAND THERE?!"

Albino boy looked away with a faint blush on his white cheeks.

"It wasn't me. Where is L?"

The redhead blinked.

"He was just lying here."

He inspected the big bed, as if he expected the panda to be minimized and lost on the white and uneven surface. Mello, Matt and Near had per se wanted to sleep in L's bed because they'd missed him so much. L had smiled and approved before he fell asleep for the first in a while, with the boys using him as a kind of bony pillow. The blond shook his head.

"He was asleep!!"

"Pandas need some sleep too."

The blond hit Goggle Boy on his head again.

"Maybe you groped him in your sleep too, Matt, and he didn't like it and now he's looking for somebody to punish you."

Said boy blushed and looked delighted.

"Punish? Wooh, I hope it's a hot one..."

Albino boy repressed an eye roll.

"Not in that way, Matt. If he'd wanted you to get punished in that way, he'd have asked Mello."

The blond snapped at the youngest boy.

"What the hell are you implying?!"

"Mello, you like Matt..."

Blond jumped up and hit the albino on his head.

"NOT TRUE!!"

Goggle Boy looked up with a hurt expression on his face.

"What...?"

Another fist from Blond boy on his head.

"You groped me, bitch!!"

"Guys can't be bitches, Mello."

"Keep your mouth shut, Near!!"

The door opened, and a tall and black-haired young man came in.

"What, are you fighting again?"

The three boys looked up.

"...?"

"L!!"

The blond jumped up on the bed and walked over it to the oldest person in the room, so he was leveling him.

"Where were you this morning?!"

The young man shrugged.

"I woke up with the three of you sticking to my body and I thought it was better to let you sleep. So I went to the main room to talk to Watari and Roger; and to get some cake."

The last part was worked out hastily and soft, as if the raven-haired felt he was doing something inappropriate. The blond jumped up, giving the black hair a soft pat with his fist, the same as with the other boys but more respectful, though he still sounded sarcastic when he spoke.

"How nice of you, L!! Don't you like sleep hugging?!"

Pale lips formed an amused smile.

"Don't you like a little walking around in the very early morning? There's nothing wrong with cake either."

"You exaggerate it!!"

"..."

The man's eyes turned sad, as if he had remembered something he needed to do. The boys turned quiet.

After a few seconds, the blond pricked in a soft and pale cheek with his finger.

"... L? What's wrong? You look sad."

"Sharp, Mello…"

The albino boy got the death glare of his life.

"How often do you see a panda with sad eyes, Near?!"

"Well-"

The young man laid a hand on the blonde's head, and they all fell silent.

"Enough. Mello, Matt, Near, I cannot not tell you this."

The redhead blinked.

"Cannot not...?"

Blond boy jumped back and hit him on his goggled head again.

"Come on; don't tell me you don't get that, Matt!! You are in Wammy's too!!'

"No, I just thought he was kidding..."

The albino ignored them and turned back to the black-haired person still standing next to the bed.

"What is it, then?"

The young man looked like he wanted to sigh sadly.

"There's a new case, and there's a chance I won't come back alive."

Silence. The three boys stopped arguing and stared at him. Goggle boy blinked again.

"You mean... You'll come back as some kind of ghost who can float through the wall and other people?!"

"Matt!! This is serious!!'

The aggressive boy gave his friend such a hard fist on his head that he looked dizzy for a few seconds. The young man walked over and took the blonds' always-balled fist in his hand to stop him, and maybe to find a little comfort in the ball of fingers and hand that relaxed once he touched it.

"In the last few days, criminals all over the world die from a heart attack. This is obviously murder, a serial killer who can't get away with this. I have to catch him."

The blond jumped up and grabbed the young man's other hand.

"Are you sure it's a 'him' already, L?! Maybe he'll fall for you, you fall for him and then you finally lose your stupid virginity!!'

The young man decided to ignore the gay-remark. Why should he react on it…? But the blonds' energetic behavior made him feel a little better already.

"Virginity isn't exactly stupid, Mello. You are one yourself too, right? And do you really think I would lose my virginity to a mass murderer…?"

The energetic boy ignored L's last few words and smiled even brighter.

"Not for long!! I'm planning to fuck someone into the wall!!"

Both Goggle Boy and the Albino lit up a bit. The black-haired male tilted his head to the side and smiled amused.

"And who's the, ahem, lucky one, Mello?"

"I hope for that person it's not a girl. It must be so... aww to be fucked into the wall with your boobs forward."

"Matt!!"

The older male repressed a chuckle.

"Matt appears to suffer from the same problem. Why don't you help each other?"

The redhead and the blond both blushed. The albino looked down. The young man turned serious again.

"If I don't return, I want you three to know you are like younger brothers to me. I'll think of you. And miss you."

The blond and the redhead both jumped up and tried to shake the tall male's bony shoulders.

"No, L, don't say things like that!! You'll return, with a boyfriend!!"

"A very cute, beautiful, smart, funny and sexy one; just like you!!"

L slightly blushed. Not enough to be seen, though. Sigh. He was going to miss these boys. And he just returned home...

Then he realized that boy had made another gay-remark and decided to ask.

"Mello, where did you get the idea I'm gay?"

"Have you ever seen yourself?! I think you just have to meet the _one_!! It has to be a genius brunet, and then we're complete!! Matt is the redhead, you are the black one, I am the blond, Near is…"

The blond glared at the emotionless albino, who stared back blankly with a look that resembled the young man's expressions.

"…Transparent, but that doesn't count."

The albino couldn't help but look slightly hurt.

"Now we only need a brunet, right?! Black, brown, red and blond!! Complete!!"

"And white, Mello. That counts too."

The albino's look changed a tiny into comforted when the older male smiled at him. The blond decided he wanted his attention and patted on his head.

"You are picky, right? And you never see someone of your own age. You'll probably get someone who's younger than you. You are such a child, L."

Mello stepped forward and wrapped both arms around L's waist and laid his head down against his shoulder.

"I will miss you too, L... You have to come back, okay? And if you feel you're going to die, come back here to die surrounded by us!!'

"Mello, in such a case you should use your time to solve the case. In the very end, every second matters. You should know that too, Mello Yellow."

The redhead winced.

"A nickname!! L, can I have one too?!"

The older male smiled again.

'Matt is Batt. I don't know. You can't rush nicknames. They have to pop up in your head."

"Batt!! Bad!! Brilliant!! Please come back, L!!"

The redhead ran to the older male too, who was still crushed against the blonde, and wrapped his arms around his and the blonde's waist and laid his head on the male's other shoulder.

It must have looked a bit weird, three boys hugging.

The albino still sat on the bed they all slept in last night, and looked at it with shy sadness. With a tiny bit of jealousy in his eyes, he pulled the robo toy closer to his chest.

"Do I have a nickname too, L...?"

"Near, by you I swear. Not exactly a nickname, isn't it…?"

"It's good enough."

The albino walked over, pushed the blond and the redhead away and crushed himself against the older male. Said person's eyes widened slightly as he felt and heard his own ribs cracking. Ay. Nonetheless, he wrapped his arms around the boy and stroked his hair for a few seconds. After both released again, the Great Detective L looked at his three successors/ younger brothers again.

Maybe he wouldn't return. But, he could also show up here again with someone pretty, smart and sexy next to him.

Someone just like him.

_*******_

It was hard. It was so extremely hard.

Yagami Light tried not to feel too miserable when he thought about all the people he killed, or was going to kill.

He thought about those people. Smart people, passionate people, strong people, maybe even _good_ people… And Light killed them all.

He thought about their families. Wives, children, parents, brothers, sisters… They'd all be sad. Light hurt them all. And there was no way he could apologize.

He thought about their lives. Happy and successful lives, or maybe ruined and sad lives who found comfort in doing as their heart told them, normal lives, extraordinary lives, lives who'd come to an end as soon as Light would put those few stripes of ink on the ruled paper…

_...No._

No way. They were criminals. Not human. It was a waste that the smart ones didn't use their intelligence for the better. It was a waste that all the passionate ones didn't use their passion to better the world around them instead of their own. It was a waste that the strong ones used their strength for the wrong, and Light had to kill them all for making the world worse.

They were criminals. Their families would be _happy_ to be rid of such a dark spot on their family name. They would be happy that they didn't have to concern any longer. And Light didn't need to be thanked for what he did. As long as it made others happy.

They were criminals. They didn't have proper lives. Happy and successful or ruined and sad, normal or extraordinary, they were all rotten and needed to end. And Light had the power to.

Light looked up and sighed. It was so hard. All these criminals to be killed, the hard work, his grades, his social life, his body, his mental state… Light felt so bad. He hadn't eaten in days, hadn't slept in nights and the constant battle in his mind over if it was right or not to kill criminals kept him occupied every single second he could somehow _think. _It was painful. It was so extremely painful.

But Light kept on going. He was too sure it was better like this for the good people.

Good people.

Light was God.

Light was the God of the New World.

_*******_


	3. Disgust

_A/N: __Hello everybody!!:D Sorry, I love flashbacks^^ You'll see more of them later on. I think they give depth to characters. Thanks Black-Dranzer-1119 for beta-ing;) Ennnjoy and vote on my poll!!^^_

_**3. Disgust**_

It was 1:07AM. All the lights were dimmed in the Yagami house, except from the ones in the room in the back of the house.

There, behind closed curtains, was a young boy only wearing shorts and a tight shirt writing names in a black notebook. His face was sweaty and pink and his whole body tensed, his long, tanned legs and back sticking to the chair. His breath got rapid and his wrists began to hurt, but he couldn't give up. No, he had to continue writing until 2:00AM. He continued and got more and more tensed and sticky, the sweat dripping all over him, his breath getting faster and faster. Justice. He was God. He would bring Justice to those who weren't good enough to live in this world. Only good people. _Good people._

_Good people, _

_Good people!! _

-**_GOOD PEOPLE!! _**

SCRATCH

The sound of a pen almost tearing paper.

Light dropped his pen on the notebook and stared at his digital clock. 2:34AM. He leaned his head back and tried to catch his breath. Phew. He brought justice to criminals again. His heart slowed down. Light put away his pen and Death Note, dropped down on his bed and fell asleep before he could even crawl under the sheets.

When he woke up the morning after, his body was cold and his muscles and joints were all stiff.

*******

_'Death note. God of the New World. New world, no crime. All the good people are happy. Death note. God of the New World. New world, no crime. All the good people are happy... Tssh. I'm obsessed.'_

Light walked home together with his friends. Those useless pricks… All they could talk about was Kira. Light smiled with them and chatted back, but without thinking about it. The Death Note. As soon as he was home, he'd bring justice to more criminals.

When he somehow reached home. He shouted 'bye!!' to his friends and walked in.

"Welcome home!!"

A big smile and an almost visible heart under his mother's text.

His incredibly happy and annoying,

Mum.

"Oh, right...here…"

His incredibly happy and annoying Mum gasped when she saw the white paper Light gave her.

"You are the best of Japan again!!"

'_Duh.'_

"Yup. I'm going to study, don't disturb me."

"Do you need anything, my sweet Light-chan?"

"No."

'_I have everything I want...'_

Light walked upstairs, slammed the door closed and sighed. He opened his drawer to take the Death Note out of it. More justice.

"Heh heh.

Heh, heh, heh..."

"You really seem to like it."

Lights heart stopped for a second when he turned to see the ugliest and most inhuman face he had ever seen.

Eyes plopping out of his head, no nose, small nostrils, thick, purple lips with small, dangerously sharp teeth, his head somehow sewed to his body with...

No.

Light wasn't afraid.

He couldn't, he was God…

…And not afraid.

*******

"Goodbye, L..."

A lot of people looked suspicious when a long black car delivered a tall and insomniac-looking young man with black hair at the airport, only to watch as about ten children from various ages and nationalities trying to hug him. The young man and the children didn't notice and hugged, wished each other good luck and said goodbye. L knew he had to go, but he really didn't want to. He'd planned to stay at Wammy's for a month, but 'Kira' seemed to be able to kill people without being physically present. There was a chance that the days he had spent were the last he would have at Wammy's.

L felt Linda grab his hand. Linda. Mello. Near. Matt. Roger. And the others. He had yet to choose between Mello, Near and Matt. His personal favorite was Mello, but he was quite positive about Near being his best choice for _successor_ and not his _buddy_. He secretly hoped the three would work together. It looked impossible, but the three had slept together in one bed because he laid in it. They even hugged each other if that meant they could hug him. Or maybe they even hugged when he wasn't around. He couldn't find that out, maybe he'd never know. Maybe these were the last hugs in his life.

"Ryuzaki."

A warm hand lay down on his shoulder. He looked around to see Watari's friendly and warm face, which seemed to understand how he felt.

"We should go."

They had to go. They really had to go. L had to catch Kira.

L nodded, gave all the children their last hug. The last one was for Linda.

"Linda, I want you to keep an eye on Mello, Near and Matt, okay?"

The smile he received was one of the brightest and proudest L had ever seen in his life. He waved when he followed Watari who was carrying two suitcases. L tried to act normal.

"You don't have to hide it, Ryuzaki. It's not strange to fear death, especially if you have to leave all that love and support behind."

L clenched his teeth and fists, swallowed and tried to concentrate on the tiles of the hall, but failed in holding back his tears. They helplessly rolled over his emotionless mask as he burned holes in the ceiling with his eyes, receiving weird looks from passengers. Watari stopped and turned around, to see L trying ever so hard not to make eye contact with anyone else than the sharp lights in the ceiling.

'_Ryuzaki…You shouldn't be afraid or ashamed at all.'_

Watari took a clean handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped away all the salt fluid on L's face. He usually never touched him, except from the medical examine every month, and smiled when he saw the childish surprise on the World's Three Greatest Detectives' face.

"Come, Ryuzaki, or we'll miss our plane."

For a few seconds, L stared at the friendly face in front of him. Then he nodded again, stood up and even picked up a suitcase. Watari smiled again. This young man was so strong. He knew that as soon as L sat down and was sure no one could hear, see or record what he was saying , he'd be chatting to Watari about what he was planning to do and the kind of person Kira must be. Maybe even look out of the window, stare at the sunset and landscapes, without thinking about anything as he drank some overly sugared tea and had some cake.

Watari was right, and he couldn't stop smiling when he saw L sitting in his usual way, his childish face and enthusiastic expression he showed only to Watari and the other people from Wammy's. No, it wasn't easy to get L Lawliet out of his balance for long.

*******

"Ryuzaki."

L tilted his head to the side when he saw Watari standing next to his big and soft chair, a questioning, but polite expression on his face.

"Yes, Watari?"

"Could you tell me again why we are in Japan?"

L looked back at the files of the murderers reported in the media, littered all over the large, modern and red-carpeted room they were living room. It was clean and smelled like wood, would have had a lot of light flowing in, but the light silk curtains were closed, to keep L out of sight. He could be so paranoid, though Watari couldn't blame him. L didn't look up when he answered with a deep and slightly annoyed voice.

" As I have already told you, the first of Kira's victims was Japanese. And, the crime was only ever reported in Japan. Kira couldn't have known about him if he weren't in Japan."

Watari frowned.

"It could be coincidence, Ryuzaki."

L's eyes sharpened a bit, Watari knew, though he couldn't see L's face.

"I examined all the last heart attacks under criminals from the last two weeks. This one was in a live report, and he died during that broadcasting. There is a high probability he was nothing more than an experiment. Kira hasn't been killing for very long."

"What if it's a coincidence? Have you thought about that, Ryuzaki?"

L looked up and gave Watari a brain-burning stare.

"Yes. But I don't believe that."

Watari smiled endearingly.

'_... Stubborn as always...You're doing better again, Ryuzaki.'_

Watari took a glance at L's desk to see that he was running out of candy. Actually, L shouldn't eat so much sugar, but after seeing him crying at the airport, Watari felt like he had to make L feel a little better and take some extra care of him, and just like that, he'd always find a way to justify spoiling L.

"Ryuzaki, I have to go out for a second. You can stay here and..."

Watari wondered.

"…do what you always do."

He heard L shift in his chair and knew the boy was facing him behind his back.

"Will you bring me some extra strawberries, Watari?"

Watari turned around to look at the strawberries-with-sugar-and-whipped-cream-sweet expression on L's face. He waited for a few seconds.

"Please...?"

Watari smiled.

"Of course, Ryuzaki."

Watari walked out of the room to change his clothes in his own room and walked down the street, wearing beige pants and a blue vest, making a funny contrast with his usual Watari-outfits.

He walked to the bakery two streets away he noticed when they were driving to the hotel, while L had been almost asleep. Watari smiled again. He usually smiled because of L. There was something that was funny about him to Watari, but there was something _else _that made him even more adorable in the last days. How could Watari refuse that boy?

He walked to the bakery and looked at the chocolate cakes displayed. One covered with white chocolate and strawberries, one with dark chocolate and whipped cream filling. One with speculoos and caramel, and-

"Hey, you!!"

Watari looked up with a friendly face at the inpatient Japanese-speaking baker.

"Yes?"

"Order and leave. I've had enough foreigners today. This very early morning, some strange eye-bagged weirdo bought all the cakes I baked last night!! I've been busy baking new cakes this whole day!!"

Watari's smile got bigger. So L had really found the bakery here. Smart kid.

"I'm afraid I want to buy two of your cakes for one and the same person who bought your cakes this morning. I can assure you there's no one around you can make happier with cake and I'm sure he really enjoyed it."

The baker frowned and gave Watari a strange look.

"Buy it and leave."

"Thank you. I may see you again a few times."

"As long as you and that guy don't eat all my cakes..."

L would probably go and try another bakery after this one. He always wanted to try as many bakeries as possible if he was somewhere new.

"I will assure you that won't happen."

"Right. Bye."

"Goodbye."

Watari walked out of the store, smiling as he made his way back to L's apartment.

*******

"Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk…"

No, IT wasn't there. Light pretended he couldn't hear the weird chuckling from the 'shinigami' as he ran his fingers through his wet locks. Yes, shinigami. An extremely ugly one, who had to follow him around all day long and irritate the shit out of him. Ryuk.

Yes, the creature had to be with him constantly, which meant that idiot had to follow him into the bathroom too. Light was showering, and he felt the eyes of the Idiot stare at him. His parents had decided they needed a bigger shower, and the current shower was sort of a walk-in closet without curtains or doors or whatever. You could look at the one standing in it. And so did the shinigami.

Light splashed more water in his face and cleaned it thoroughly. Filthy skin meant filthy zits and…eww, he knew. Very…eww. He found zits disgusting. On his own face and on other's faces. It wasn't neat to show it, no, it wasn't, but it was…eww. Especially on girls he had to kiss.

_Eww._

And this shinigami wasn't even better. He was eww too. What could be worse, an idiot with eye bags? However, if it were a genius…Light wondered. He put the temperature up to the point where he couldn't see the shinigami anymore due to the steam, and squeezed his own butt. He had the best butt in the world…Ahh. Light somehow felt that he was narcissistic, but he didn't find it weird. He was the only smart, sexy and interesting person around. And he was always there for himself. Amazing…

Light felt like it was time to get himself off. He was getting hard. Light liked masturbating in the shower. He felt sexy when he was dripping, steaming and had to wash himself, and it didn't leave a big mess on the crime scene. There was also nothing more relaxing than coming out of the shower while he was clean AND half asleep after a nice jerking session. He breathed in the steam and took some Rituals-shower gel that foamed as soon as he smeared it on his chest. First his chest, and then down his belly…Not yet, first his arms, armpits (very important, Light hated sweat), and to his belly again…He had the nicest belly ever, so hard and taut and muscled, and he didn't even have to do anything for it, it simply was his build. Light had lost eight pounds due to his mental problems caused by the notebook, but it had came back already. 110 lbs. was just his natural weight if he ate normal. Going lower, he thoroughly washed his pubic hair with shampoo (he thought about shaving it because he found hair on a body disgusting too, but he thought it was too feminine for him) and sighed when he could finally grab his own hardness and start pumping. Ahh…Good. If he could, Light would first wash himself entirely before getting it on. Teasing himself. Masturbation-foreplay. Light felt kind of stupid when he thought about it. He was a _virgin_, damn it. He didn't have any experience with foreplay whatsoever. Oh well, except from when he had to convince a girl to help him taking over the world, Light would probably never do someone else. It was just… Eww.

He leaned with his back against the tiles of the shower and closed his eyes. Just him, his hand and his dick. Great. What could be better than that? Not that he did himself whenever he could. He had better things to do…Once or twice a week was fine…

He felt himself getting closer to the point of release. He panted lightly and buckled his hips forward. Closer, faster, just a little more…Steam, good and hot…Yagami Light was sexy…

He groaned when he felt his lower body shake and hot liquid leave his body, and leaned his head back. Hah, nice. He'd take a nap and go on with the cleaning of the world with newfound energy. He groaned softly in relaxation and turned the temperature of the water a little higher. Maybe he could sleep in the shower…He yawned.

"Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk… Is that what humans do in the shower?"

Light's eyes shot open and he stared in horror at Ryuuk's face, which was two feet away. How long had he been watching?!

"Ryuuk!! Get the fuck off!!"

"Nii-chaaaan!! Who are you yelling aaat?!"

Sayu.

"I'm screaming at the lipstick our stupid aunt of us smeared on my ear yesterday!! It won't come off!!"

Light was a great actor and he knew it.

"Oh!! Hahaha, poor Nii-chan!! Good luck!!"

Light sighed and turned his middle finger to Ryuuk.

"Go to my room!! I'll come there later!! I don't want you watching while I dry myself!!"

"Okay, hyuk, hyuk…"

It was hard. Killing criminals had been hard, but this monster was hard too. Light sighed again and turned the water hot enough to redden and burn his skin. Annoyance. Searing annoyance. All feelings of relaxation from his hand job were gone. He realized this had been the first time of doing himself since he picked up the Death Note. Which was a good sign regarding his mental problems caused by the little notebook. It was hard, but Light was already doing better, and he could kill criminals without any real problems or nightmares. He was waiting for the reaction of the government, though. It wasn't possible that they'd only sit and watch while someone was killing criminals.

He should go on with killing criminals.

Light turned the shower cold and forced himself to stay under it for ten more seconds, and spread the water over his body. Ahh, cold. It was refreshing. Shinigami or not, Light would feel energized after a shower. He stepped out of it and dried himself thoroughly. Including his ears. Light once sat next to someone whose ears were filled with yellow filth. It had been…eww.

It was then Light noticed a big spat of snot on his white and considered-to-be-clean-bath towel. He suddenly remembered that his mother caught a cold and was full of snot.

Eww.

He stepped back in the shower.

*******

"L, I already fucking miss you!!"

L smiled and sighed. Mello.

"I can't but say that I terribly miss you too, Mello. I wanted to stay much longer with you. As soon as I caught this Kira, I'll come back, I promise."

L definitely would come back. Though he felt the need to pray that he'd come back_ alive_. He didn't want to think about the blonds' face if he heard something happened to L.

"What if you die, L?! I don't want to think about that, you know!!"

L closed his eyes for a second. Near had a mind close to his, but Mello's shouldn't be missed either. Though it was only natural to ask or think that under the current circumstances.

"If I die, catch Kira for me, Mello, and Near and Matt too. So that I didn't die for nothing. Kira is a mass murderer and needs to be caught."

L reached out to the delicious cake Watari had brought from the baker this morning. That baker had been a pain, grumpy idiot…The cake had been good, anyway.

Not as good as Baker Strawberry, though.

"But L, do you already have a clue if Kira is a smart and sexy brunet with a fucking fine ass?! We need our fourth brother!!"

"Fifth," L corrected. "Kira is a mass murderer. I'm not going to do things with a mass murderer, keep that in mind."

"Keep it in mind yourself!! I bet he's smoking hot!! Go and get him, tiger!! Fuck him into the wall!!"

Yes, Mello would make a good seme. That was evident.

"Mello?"

"What is it, L?!"

L smiled.

"Please don't be too hard on Near. I know you can't stand each other for several reasons, but it would be a win for you if you could step over that hate. Try, okay?"

Mello grunted.

"Yeah, as if you are mature enough to do something with hate!! If I told you to step over your hate for Kira and come back to celebrate Christmas with us, you wouldn't either!!"

Mello was right about the first thing, L knew it. Once he hated something or someone, he couldn't bring himself to act nicely. Oh well, he didn't have to, he was L, and hate was good fuel for solving a case…

"Sorry, Mello, I can't celebrate Christmas with you guys. I-"

"-Have to catch Kira. I get it, but now I can't hug you. Stupid."

L realized he was holding a pillow against his chest tightly. He already missed Mello and everyone from Wammy's.

"I'm sorry, Mello."

It was quiet for a few seconds, and L realized that it had sounded guiltier than he'd wanted it to sound.

"Sorry L. Just catch Kira soon, so you can hug him, and you can bring him here so I can hug you too, okay…?"

Mello was sensitive too. It was funny.

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye, L!! I'll call you later!!"

Click.

Sigh.

L hugged the pillow tighter against his chest and leaned his head back, to realize that he was crying again. Tightness in his chest and tears. He felt sorry. For Mello mostly and because this was the first time in eight years he wasn't in Winchester to celebrate Christmas. Kira's fault. And L's own fault.

Mello was his all-time-Wammy's favorite, because he was the only one who really dared to go against L and offend him ruthlessly, before diving on L and crush him in a hug. Without Mello's many hugs, L would probably be reluctant to have physical contact by now. He wasn't exactly used to it and the only ones touching him were younger than him (that sounded like a pedophile, L knew, but it was true). If an adult would run at him and hug him he'd probably jerk away.

Mello. Sometimes, L envied his social skills. Mello was such a warm person when you knew him.

…That was probably because of L.

*******

Strawberries. More strawberries. Slice them, cover them in sugar and put them in a bowl. Take the cream; throw vanilla flavored sugar in it and into a mixer, and mix it until it becomes whipped cream. Not too long, then it becomes vanilla butter. Put it on your strawberries and enjoy.

L Lawliet smiled when he took the bowl with fresh fruit and whipped cream in his ten-year-old hands. Yum… Oh, right, a fork… He glanced at the kitchen, the mess he'd made and made the mental note to clean it later. The main room. He sat down on a couch and pulled his knees up to his chin, and picked a strawberry out of the big bowl.

"Law, can I have some too…?"

Watari told him he'd be called 'Lawrence' in Wammy's, though he hated the name. It was silly and old-fashioned in his ears. You spelled it almost the same as 'Lawliet', though it should be pronounced as 'Lowlight'. Lowlight, Roraito, Lawliet. If only L didn't have ancestors called 'Lowlight' who found it necessary to integrate in the Japanese society, where the people couldn't pronounce their name and called them 'Roraito'. And if only they didn't lose sight of English spelling and translate it back in an abstract way. Oh well, L liked his real name. He liked 'Law' too. Even the nurses called him that. Only Watari and Roger didn't. They called him 'L'.

"Want some? Here." The young boy smiled when a little brown-haired kid took the strawberry on L's fork and devoured it. The kid hugged L's leg and went back to his Lego-buildings and the rough sketches he'd made before starting with them. L looked around. A large room with wooden floor, wooden furniture and wooden walls. It was detailed and calm at the same time, and antique-looking. Kids playing, most of them completely occupied by something they were extremely good at. L was sure the boy at his feet would become a great architect. Would he ever need a building for himself, for whatever reason, the boy would be there.

He himself didn't have to do anything at the moment, but eat strawberries and he liked that. It was relaxing and though he didn't have 'friends' in the way that you share personal things with that person or spend more time with, he was fine with it. He felt home and that was important.

He looked up when Watari walked past the open door, holding something. Something small and wrapped in a white blanket. He tapped the brown-haired boy on his shoulder and offered him the strawberries. The boy almost cried in happiness, and L couldn't help but smile again.

He followed Watari to the nursery and stopped at the door. Watari was handing the small thing to the head nurse, a Surinam woman with a great mother-instinct who reigned over the nursery (and actually the whole orphanage) with a soft, but firm hand. She'd been here for as far as L knew, but she still spoke with a Surinam accent. L couldn't help but love that woman like a close aunt who liked to spoil her little cousin.

"His mother passed away a few days ago and his father passed away before he was born. He'd wanted to leave the Mafia because his wife was pregnant, and he was killed. Maybe it's better that she left too. She was so sad, considering to bring the boy here and then commit suicide… She had the chance to say goodbye to her boy. She died happy."

L felt a bit sad when he heard it. He was used to it, it was an orphanage, and his own past, after all, but it still was sad. Hey. The little thing was a little boy. L was curious. He stepped in and walked to the middle of the room.

"Hellooo, Law!! How ya doin', boy? You wanna see the new kid? Here…"

L was surprised that he wasn't sent away, but took the little human in his arms and looked at it. A boy, apparently, you couldn't see that at such a young age (and sometimes that would take a few years before that would be possible), a tiny little boy with deep blue eyes, like every baby had. Soft blond hairs growing on his fragile skull. L immediately felt affection for the little baby. He knew you couldn't see clearly when you were only three weeks old, but he saw that the big blue eyes were directed at him. It touched him.

"What is he called…?"

Watari smiled.

"Mihael Keehl. He's partly Russian, like you, L. But we're gonna call him Mello. "

"Mello…"

L smiled and touched the soft hair. Mello. He'd take care of him until he'd be able to save himself. He shifted the baby a little closer to his chest. Mello relaxed a little. Would he fall asleep? Yes, he closed his eyes and fully lay against L's chest, and began snoring softly. L sighed. This felt beautiful. A little brother.

From that day, L would carry Mello with him all the time. Wherever he was in the house, Mello would be on the same couch watching him eating, and later crawling around. He held the blue eyes, L saw. Even his had been blue, he'd seen on baby pictures of himself. His had gone black after a few weeks already, but Mello's only got a little lighter and his blond hair was soft. Every evening, he carried Mello against his shoulder, softly talking to him about nothing and Mello would grow bigger and attached to L. And the other way round.

Mello and L became brothers. Real brothers, it felt. Even when Mello began to act by himself, Near came, and later Matt, and Mello would have to get jealous. Especially when L left Wammy's more and more often to become a real detective. Mello and L had a bond.

*******

About half an hour later, L realized he was still crying. He was too soaked up in his memories. He tried to remember the last time he'd cried. Two years ago. A child had died while he had to make sure nothing happened to it. Children didn't belong in the world of crime (Yes, not even L, though he'd proven to be able to survive there himself perfectly), and they really shouldn't die. It just…It hadn't been fair. L had cried for three hours of non-stop sobbing. That was the result of oppressing feelings. It had to come out somewhere, whether you were an emotional person or not.

L took his cell in his hand and dialed Mello's (yes, Mello had a cell too) number, before pressing it away again. He'd only make it hard for Mello and himself. The sooner he caught Kira, the sooner he could go back. He was used to this.

L looked at his computer screen. The governor of Texas had a criminal sentenced to death who volunteered for the role of L on the television. Lind L. Taylor. He was perfect.

L put away his cell phone in his pocket and turned his microphone with synthetic voice on.

He was getting closer to Kira.

*******

_A/N: Review and vote plz!!^^ Really do:D It takes only a few seconds…:p_


	4. Protection

_A/N: Hello!! Something I realized: Why didn't L show the name and picture of a criminal who wasn't published on the real news, on the televisions of the Yagami's and the Kitamura's when he was investigating them…? Would be easy, Kira has to kill, after all…_

_As for the Pisces-part, maybe you knew it, but I'm obsessed with signs and just had to put this in^^_

_And for the ones who haven't voted on my poll yet: Please vote^^Just do it now, and return to this story with the 'page back'-button XD A few seconds…:P For those who did: THANK YOOO:3_

_**4.**__**Protection**_

"I think Kira is a Pisces."

Watari turned around. Within six hours Lind L. Taylor would most likely be killed by Kira and L was obviously excited, craving to know he was right, but for now, he could only sit back and wait, he had nothing useful to think about, nothing to plan, really. But was it really necessary to think about _star__ signs_ when catching Kira…?

Watari forced a smile on his face and tried not to look weirded out.

"Why do you think so, Ryuzaki?"

L didn't look up or show any sign of conscience that what he was saying wasn't in line with his job.

"Kira kills criminals. Why would he do that? He wants to make a better world. He doesn't try just to make his close surroundings better, like most people would do, but the entire world. Kira thinks big, and dares to dream. Typical for a Pisces. Right?"

Watari nodded, for lack of better choices.

"Also, Kira effectively fools himself that he has the right to pass judgment on others, that he is better and that he can rule the world like a god. He gets lost in his own illusions. Illusions. Dreams. Pisces. Right?"

Watari was getting more and more uneasy by the second, but fought the urge to point that out to L.

"Pisces are also known for their love for others and desire to protect and take care of others. They're altruistic and would easily give up their own sanity for those of others. The first few murderers were…hesitant. It probably didn't feel right to him -Pisces are emotional and sensitive persons- but he had to fight himself through it, and now he's used to it and kills without hesitation to reach his goals and make his dreams true."

Watari couldn't hold back any longer.

"Ryuzaki, have you considered that Kira could be… Not a Pisces…?"

L took a fork and put a strawberry in his mouth. A drop of red liquid trailed over his smooth lower lip.

"No need. Kira is a Pisces. I'm sure."

Watari sighed. L was stubborn, and his ego was growing every minute. Oh well, as long as he was right…?

Watari sighed.

Yes, even L could be wrong.

And worse, even Watari could be wrong, even with the clock. By the time that he was back from getting L new strawberries, L had already gone to the laptop at the top of the building.

Lind L. Taylor would be dead in minutes.

*******

Furious. That L. How COULD he.

Idiot, cracking idiot, how dare he…Threatening Kira with the death penalty, his God, the one making a better world?! Who the heck did he think he was?!

… L, that was clear, but that didn't matter.

"Fuck you, L," Light muttered under his breath. He'd win. He'd kill L and become a true God. And fuck L's butt with his face buried in dust. Yes, that's what he'd do. Screw L. Show him who's the boss.

When he realized he was considering putting his dick in some old man's butt, he couldn't but think 'eww', but he was furious. Balling his fists, he glared at the television screen where Lind L. Taylor had been an hour ago, announcing L would catch Kira. Killing him had been easy. It hadn't been easy to hear it had been L's purpose to have Lind L. Taylor killed, and L knew where Kira was.

Something he'd never-ever admit, was that Light felt _stupid_. He felt so extremely stupid for allowing himself to fall for L's trap. It had been so easy, if only he had considered L wouldn't give himself away like that…Yes, he knew L, he'd heard his Dad talking about him once. He'd thought L was _cool_, but all he wanted was to catch Kira and keep Light from ruling and making a better world.

It was mean. Very mean.

But it was okay, Light would win. Kira would win. Everything would turn out well, in the end.

Light groaned in annoyance and grabbed his Death Note. Quickly fill in some names.

Ryuk chuckled. Human were funny.

_*******_

"Light, how was your school today?"

It was a cloudy autumn-night where it would be night soon. Within weeks, Sachiko Yagami would be cooking in the dark. The leaves began falling off the trees, which meant she'd have to work hard to keep her garden clean and it was getting colder, which meant she had to get Light and Sayu into warm clothes, which they didn't like since winter uniforms were ugly, in their opinions.

And the worst, it was flu season, and soon someone would be contaminated, and after that they'd all get ill.

It was normal in the Yagami-family that around November, they'd all get the flu together, to stay home for three days (not that Sachiko really left the house except for food, shopping, kids, friends, family or events, like a big sale). It would be a real family-treatment with bathing together, showering Light and Sayu thoroughly (and when they slept Soichiro and Sachiko would take a next round), ordering pizza's and having the neighbors making them breakfast, buying them crisps and tea and manga for Light and Sayu. Watching Pokémon and Shin Chan with the four of them, Light buried in his father's lap and Sayu in Sachiko's. They'd all suffer from 40 degrees fever and sweat themselves thirsty, so that they had to call the neighbors again to make them some tea.

The most fun would be sleeping in the main room. They'd improvise with their blankets and pillows, and maybe sleep on the couch. They were ill, they were too lazy- oh, no, WEAK to go somewhere else and sleep in their own beds. And when they were getting better, they'd make sure that all the bacteria and viruses would be gone when they went back to their jobs… Or school… Or household… Or whatever proud members of the Yagami-family did when they weren't sick.

It was a party every year.

Sachiko felt it coming. It was going to happen soon…

"Dad, I can spell your name in English!! I learnt it!! I finally did it!! Good, isn't it?!"

Soichiro smiled. Light was five and already bored in class, but he and Sachiko reasoned that it was important to play with kids from his own age. So they put him on English class. He had a private teacher who taught him twice a week, and Light loved it, especially because he could now understand his parents' English conversations. Parents usually spoke in another language if they were discussing things the children shouldn't hear. Soichiro spoke four languages, Sachiko two, English and Japanese, which made it impossible to speak on a level Light didn't understand.

He also understood 'difficult' Japanese. So that wasn't an option either. It was hard raising a brilliant son…

You couldn't make Soichiro and Sachiko any more proud than with Yagami Sayu and Yagami Light. Angels they were.

"Can you also spell 'Mum' or 'Sayu'?"

Light smiled even brighter.

"I can already spell 'Mum'!! I'm just not sure how to spell 'Sachiko'!! And Sayu is easy. Here…"

"Light, sweetie, don't put your fingers in the rice!!"

Light pouted. How was he supposed to show them then, if he wasn't allowed to leave the table…?

Soichiro coughed. Light forgot the rice and everyone turned to him.

"Light, do you know who I heard today?"

Light blinked. "No…"

He shifted a little closer to his Dad. Soichiro smiled proudly, as if he'd become president of Japan.

"I heard L speaking."

Light's eyes widened. L. The only letter he couldn't pronounce properly… yet.

Huh? L speaking…?

Soichiro laughed.

"Light, do you know who L is?"

Light shook his head. Soichiro laughed mysteriously.

"L…Is a detective."

Light blinked. A detective? Was a detective really so important…?

"And L isn't just a detective…He's an extremely good detective. He appeared half a year ago, we had a case we couldn't solve and L said he'd do it. Within a week, he was done. It was an extremely hard case, though. It would take the police two years, or more."

Light stared at his father with wide eyes. A detective, L…And he was very good...One week? One year is 56 weeks…Two years is 112 weeks…

L was 112 times better than the police?!

Light gawked at Soichiro.

"And the funniest thing about L is…He never shows his face. He just speaks to us through a synthetic voice. Today, I heard him again. He solved another case about a very bad murderer who killed smart little kids in England. This time L was done in only two days. We barely heard about the case or he'd solved it already."

Light shuddered.

"Why would they want to kill smart kids…? Are they jealous?"

Soichiro sighed.

"According to L, the killer was a sick psychopath who had always been surrounded by others smarter than him, and found it time to make an end of all smart people and where could you better start than there where they come from…? Yes, he was jealous. He's currently in France, where neurologists are examining him. To make sure things like that never happen again."

Light shuddered again.

"Dad, I don't want to die…"

Sachiko frowned and lied a hand on her husband's arm.

"Sweetheart, do you really have to talk about this during dinner…?"

Soichiro sighed again and patted Light on his head.

"Son, you aren't going to die. And I won't let that happen to my daughter and wife, either. I will protect you."

Sachiko looked worried and decided to change the subject.

"But, Light., Tell us something more about the English classes…"

***

That night, Light couldn't sleep. He wasn't good at falling asleep anyway. Most of the time he actually was tired from being busy all day long, but his brains would go on and on, and keep him awake.

This night, his thoughts were occupied by L.

A great detective. He wanted to become someone great, too. Someone who really meant something for the world. L sure was great. He saved little children. And more people. Light wanted to meet him and see him, and ask him how it was to be L.

Maybe he was reeeeeeeally tall, and was he veeeeeeeeery good at English. Maybe he was English? Then he knew what it was like in England!! Light rolled on and on, excited by the idea of talking to L. What would he look like...? He'd seen english people on the television before, and the woman teaching him English was too. They looked different. Beautiful, Light found. They were tall and strong, they had white skins and beautiful eyes...

Would L look like that too? Light wondered. Maybe he wasn't even English. Maybe he was French. French people were slim and they had such fine faces, such a pretty skin again and shining dark hair. Dad had french friends, and they had travelled to Japan once. They spoke funny, and they'd learnt Light one phrase: 'Je t'aime'. They also told him it meant 'I'd like some apple juice' and that it was very formal. You should use it for those you visited. Everybody had found it extremely cute, and Light had the idea that it meant something different than 'I'd like some apple juice'.

Maybe L knew what it meant. He bet L spoke both English and French. And Japanese, according to his Dad, and many other languages. He was so cool. And he saved little children.

...But, he had to save them from someone...Did that mean other children had actually died...?

...

He'd ask his Dad tomorrow.

Light felt the lights from the corridor shine on his face, and his Dad came in to soothe his locks and watch for a few seconds, thinking Light was asleep. Light opened one eye and saw his Dad smiling proudly at him. He really felt proud now. He wondered how proud Dad would be if he were just like L. Veeeeeery proud. Would L have a Dad...? Would he be proud? Probably, who wouldn't be proud at a son who saved other people!! Light couldn't force a big smile off his face.

Soichiro grinned and soothed his locks again.

"What are you dreaming about, Light?"

Light opened his other eye and smiled.

"About L. Can I meet him, Dad...?"

Soichiro smiled too.

"Maybe in the future, maybe you'll get to talk to him once. But first, you'll have to go asleep. L is probably sleeping too, so you'd better go after him, okay?"

Light closed his eyes. "Maybe I'll meet him in my dream, and we'll eat cake together!!"

He felt his Dad's hand still stroking his head. "For that, you'll first have to go asleep, Light. Just close your eyes...The plane to Dreamland is ready for take-off..."

Light slowly drifted away to sleep. L would watch over him. And his Dad.

He felt safe…

Soichiro smiled one last time at his son. As soon as Light was asleep, he slept deep and peaceful, like a little angel. The sounds he made hovered between breathing and softly snoring. His little big son. He already predicted Light would find L great. It was time for a new role-model for Light, anyway, Dipsy was a bit...No, L was better for a five-year-old boy.

Soichiro closed the door slowly and went back downstairs, to have a chat with Sachiko about the amazing progress Light was making at school, and socially, and...Everywhere, actually.

Little Light didn't notice himself sneezing in his pillow, or his nose getting snotty.

It was flu season, after all.

***

Miles away, in a big house in Winchester, a boy who just turned thirteen was holding a toddler in his arms, close to his chest.

'_Sorry. Sorry kids. I wish I could've known this.'_

The toddler in his arms nuzzled with his nose in the black shirt the boy was wearing.

'_Sorry, Mello. Even if I'm gone, I'll still protect you, okay?_'

The toddler shifted and L Lawliet stared at the moon. He'd protect. He was L, and because of that he had to leave. He had to solve as many cases as he could.

It was mostly a hobby, solving cases, but today, he felt protective. Protection. He wanted to be able to protect someone.

From the outside world. Maybe from himself. L wondered.

He glanced at the screen in front of him. It was an amazing computer. Portable. They'd soon make more computers portable, he knew. A few years and everyone would be able to hold one in his or her lap…

By that time, he'd be taller, and his voice would be completely broken. His current voice was impossible, it cracked and it somehow felt scary to recognize your own voice being deeper than it used to be. The voice of a man. Fascinating. L hoped it would be a deep voice. Deep voices sounded impressing and were nice to listen to. He knew his voice had always been a little deeper and more monotone than those of other kids, so maybe…

L smiled. One day Mello would develop a low voice too. The toddler in his arms could barely speak, but L wouldn't be surprised if his voice would stay feminine, for a guy. Despite his age, Mello refused to cut his hair in a more masculine cut, and it was now a cute and soft blond bob. L refused to make his hair look regular, too. It was wild and it always had been, and L liked his locks being a little longer and falling over his eyes and ears. And, he just felt too lazy and uninterested to even consider touching a brush.

Sigh. L could ponder like that for hours. Just thinking. With a nice bowl of strawberries next to him, or cake.

And the fun was, as a detective, that was all he had to do.

_*******_

L shifted. Kira knew it.

Kira knew they knew he was a student. He had connections with the Japanese police.

How had it happened…?

He'd already informed the FBI, he still had to find out where would be probed first.

"Ryuzaki, here is a list with all the policemen working for you, and their relatives."

"Thanks, Watari."

Families with intelligent people. A student. L looked through it. Alphabetic order. One hundred and fifty men.

Men?

This was Japan, after all…

Aizawa…Two young kids and a wife…L smiled when seeing the picture of the daughter. She reminded him of Wammy's.

Ide… Living alone…The picture showed a little spat of microwave lasagna on the side of his face.

Kitamura…He was intelligent, sure…He also had the power…Check.

Matsuda… Living with the 'Suzuki family', which had a daughter almost finishing school with good grades. 'Touta' looked…free-minded enough to bring information to that girl. Check.

Ukita… Nothing.

Yagami. Yagami Soichiro. L had heard him speak and seen him more often in the now twelve years he'd been a detective. A strong man with a strong sense of justice. L respected him (and knew that wasn't one-sided). He couldn't be Kira.

Yagami Sachiko. A housewife. Yeah, right.

Most of the women in Japan were housewives, for as far as L had seen (which wasn't that much, so he doubted it). He looked at the little daughter, Sayu. Would she end up cleaning all day long, too…?

Wait. The son. Yagami Light. Right, Soichiro had a son…He never showed up for a week somewhere around November. Probably for his family…

Yagami Light. Fifth form. He looked intelligent on the picture… He was Soichiro's son, he probably had a strong sense of justice too...And, ah, L smiled, he was a _Pisces_.

Check.

It was time to call the head of the FBI.

_*******_

_Apples_. Light grunted. He was officially fed up with the shinigami and his _apples._ It was all he could think about, so much was clear. It was _apples_ this _apples _that, _apples_ whee _apples_whoo._ Apples_ here _apples_ there. _APPLES_!! Light couldn't even THINK about them without feeling his nerves twitch in annoyance. Go to hell, stupid_ apples_!! And let the shinigami being addicted to you follow you!!

…Or only the last. Light secretly liked apple cake. Maybe the _apples _could stay.

And Ryuk. _Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Outside_.

Someone was following him. This fast…? Why…? Because his father was police officer? No, that wasn't it…

More important, how to shrug this person off…?

Light always fantasized about some stranger following and admiring him, who appeared to be the love of his life…

…He decided not to think of those.

But now; how to shrug his follower off…?

_*******_

"YIPPEEEEEEEY!!!"

Yuri bounced on her bed and screamed hard, interrupting the nice Saturday-morning silence as she threw her fists at her pillow. Her mother came in and blinked sleepily.

"What is it, sweetheart…?"

Yuri threw her arms in the air and screamed again.

"YAGAMI LIGHT ASKED ME TO GO TO SPACELAND TODAYYYY!!!"

Her mother blinked again.

"Yagami Light, that boy you've been talking about for weeks now…?"

Yuri nodded and jumped on her big bed, until she heard a squeaking sound under her feet.

"We'll be going todayyyy…TO SPACELAAAAND!!!"

Yuri's mother yawned.

"Fine, sweetheart, have fun today…I'll go back to sleep for a little longer…"

Yuri jumped and screamed for another minute. Light, Light, Light…He was so great!!

She couldn't predict that today was going to be shocking.

_*******_

'_Yeah, looking good…Come on, just a little more to the right…Good…Look, there's a spoon on the floor, pick it up…Like that, wooh…Amazing I was placed to watch the Suzuki-family…That woman…_

_The guy…Where is the guy…Oh, there he is…Dumb-ass, like he could be…No, that girl…Stupid L…_

_Woooooman…Bend ooooover…There is food on the floor, you dropped it…No, don't look this way, you don't feel watched…No, you don't…Good. Heh heh, the FBI, will I ever find a better job…Maybe as a doctor, then I could've- Wha-'_

"G-guh-"

'_My chest?! What is__…'_

No one noticed the FBI-agent going limp on the rooftop of a house when his heart stopped pounding.

_*******_

Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira.

Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira.

Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira.

Kira.

Kira?

Kira.

Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira.

Kira. Kira. Kira, Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira.

Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira.

Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira.

Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira. Kira, Kira.

Damn Kira.

L clenched his fist and watched his knuckles getting white. Kira. Kira was so frustrating. He existed, L knew, and he killed, and L hadn't been able to catch him yet, or find him (Or, like Mello would say, check if he had a fuck-worthy ass). He killed all the FBI-agents, and shamelessly continued his killings, even worse than before. That bitch. And L knew he was trying to scare the police, to make them stop helping L. He knew about that, he had connections with the police after all. L would've done the same if he were in Kira's shoes(after pulling them out. His own shoes at his feet, okay, but another person's…? Eww), but he wasn't, and therefore it annoyed him.

At least one good thing was that L was going to use this to share a small group of policemen around him he could cooperate with on a personal level. He knew from the beginning that if it was going to take long to catch Kira, things like this would happen (though he never predicted it would be twelve good FBI-agents being killed) and some policemen would turn their backs to him. He felt insulted, he was practically risking his life to go after Kira and all they had to do was gather information for him, like they always did. It was their job, after all.

But on the other side, it was understandable that they were scared of the idea of being killed by Kira, and they had to show their face and name…

Sigh. L felt the need to roll his eyes.

Which he did.

He took the paper showing and describing the Yagami-family again. Yagami Light. L felt weird when he looked at that face, those eyes. They made him feel…Nervous. His gaze got attracted by it. If he had nothing to think about, he took that sheet of paper and stared at the school kid until his heart began to pound a little faster.

Yes, it did. The picture made his heart beat faster. L had felt weird the first time he'd felt like this. His stomach a little tied, as if he'd had too much coffee (which had to be very much in very little time, looking at the amount of coffee his body was used to) and his thoughts could be completely occupied by that face, but now he was sort of used to it. The picture just did that to him, and he found it okay.

It was his intuition, after all. And L's intuition, how feminine it might sound, had never failed. Yet. They said intuition was just the result of a complicated and good-working brain with eye for detail (and they also classified that as 'feminine'. Stupid 'they'…), but L felt that it was…His…Well, yeah, his _intuition_. Not his brain. His heart. It appeared that L wasn't the type to think with his heart, but he knew very well that your heart only told you the truth when you _felt _with it, and not thought.

…That sounded feminine too.

But L's intuition, or heart, or whatever, obviously told him this kid was Kira. And so did his mind, and the proof did too.

…If only a little.

So, L's conclusion was that Yagami Light had to be Kira. Simple as that. And because Kira was important, and had finally gotten a face, that face got such reactions out of L. Simple as that.

Very simple.

Less simple was that Yagami Light was Soichiro's son, and one thing L hadn't missed was that Soichiro loved his family and did anything to protect them. If Yagami Light really was Kira, it would be hard to convince his father…And once convinced, Soichiro would never be the same again.

Hummmm…

Oh well, Kira first. L hoped he could work together with Soichiro, though. He was curious and he wondered if he'd be as interesting and strong as he looked like. Just to see it from a closer proximity. And, maybe his personality could give information about his son, Kira.

L realized he shouldn't think of Light like that, yet, L never faced a case like this before where he'd revealed himself in public like that. There were more possibilities than Light. L let the word roll over his lips. "Light." Strange name, but it was an English word and L was getting a bit annoyed by the Japanese language. No consonant without riveter, no accents and not even an L. And because he spoke the language fluent and had to sound professional, he actually had to leave all the L's out, even when he said 'Interpol' ('Interporu'. How weird could it get…?) or 'L'. "Watashi wa_ Eru_desu". Not even 'L'. He knew it was pointless to ponder over all these things, but he was just getting fed up with Kira.

Twitch.

L suddenly realized he hadn't had any coffee the last four hours, and that he was lying flat on the ground, his head resting on his lower arms, the picture of Yagami Light staring at the ceiling with those lifeless (it was a very typical 'identity card-photo') and at the same time vivid eyes.

He sighed and sat up, pulling his knees against his chest. It was time to think of something useful again.

…Or maybe not.

L stretched his legs to hear the joints crack. Ahh. His back followed, and he closed his eyes when he heard all the vertebras crack in the right order, from his lower back to where he leaned his head back to feel a 'crack' in his neck. Cracks. They felt great. L fell back and realized that no coffee meant drowsiness, and that lying on his back made that worse. He felt his eyelids fluttering close and decided to give in with it. A few hours of sleep…It wouldn't matter that much…

L felt content and clear when he woke up fourteen hours later.

_*******_

_A/N: __Yes, Light and L both say/think 'eww'. Logical for such clean freaks, isn't it?^^ Oh, and for those who don't know (though I wonder if they are there): Je t'aime means 'I love you'. Blackie (My beta, full name: see top of this chap, I always call her 'Blackie':P) was inspired by the 'Kira'-thing and made the word 'Kira' out of many little 'Kira's', but Fanfiction fails in uploading it Damn. Oh well, Blackie still rocks:D_

_C'mon, tell me what you thought about it^^ Is it too slow-paced or drabbe-ish...?:D Or not?^^ The green button right below...:D_


	5. Snow

_A/N: Annnd __I wanted to publish something Christmas-related, and this came into my head^^ Don't worry, it fits in the story, maybe it's even important, it contains L's-youth-things. Enjoy and a Merry Christmas, everybody!! Btw, I have no idea how the internet was fifteen years ago or something. What do you want. I was a BABY!!^^ A very nosy oneXD_

_**5. Snow**_

The last time L had played with snow had been nine years ago, when he was celebrating Christmas at Wammy's. The way the perfect white covered every single tree and rooftop, the cold and the way it all lit the world up in all its glory; and when the sun shone on it… Perfect, it was all perfect.

The garden of Wammy's with its usual green grass was covered in a thick layer of the white fluff, and children were playing in it as if they'd never seen it before.

…Some of them hadn't, but that wasn't important right now.

L had just returned from America, where he had to find a serial killer who seemed to kill the people who investigated murders. The solution was someone who'd killed his wife (also an investigator) and killed others too, to make himself look less suspicious. He knew everything about murderer, traces and things like that. It had been hard to catch him. When L started the case, eight people were dead. By the time he caught the man, twelve skilled investigators had died.

But it was Christmas now and L refused to work on anything.

"Law!!"

L turned around to see two girls who matched his age walk over to him. He didn't come here too much often, but at the age of fifteen/sixteen you'd stay here if you didn't have a better place to go. There were more than a hundred children in Wammy's and sure there were others as old as L.

And strangely, most of them liked him. Very much.

He didn't even try to smile when Lily and Aimee stopped in front of him, and Lily giggled. L sighed inwardly. "What is it?"

Aimee, a girl with long brown hair and political ambitions, stepped forward and smiled. "I see you decided to come back with Christmas. Nice to see you again."

Lily, blonde curls, a round and pink face and the tendency to do nothing but giggle which made you wonder how the heck she got into Wammy's, hid behind Aimee and L ignored her admiring looks.

"This is my home and to me, Christmas is the ultimate time to be home. I need my rest too."

Aimee looked a little disappointed because L had his gaze directed at the apple tree, where two little birds were picking seeds out of the snow. He'd thrown them there, from out of his own room. It delighted him to see the two sparrows fly back to the direction they came from. Christmas. It was a white Christmas… L felt calm. Being sixteen sucked, especially when you had to deal with all those murderers and didn't have any friends to share it all with. It was mostly his own fault, there had always been enough people who'd like to be his friend, but he was too distant and paranoid. He didn't want the responsibilities that came with 'friends', keeping contact and all. It would only distract him and the same went for love, definitely. Sorry, Aimee…

"L!!"

L groaned softly. Mello, don't call me that if there are others around…

"AGH!!"

He felt his head fly forward when a snowball hit him in his neck and the snow melted against his skin (he refused to wear shawls). Aimee and Lily watched him turn around, run after the six-year-old, take him in his arms and smear snow in his soft blond locks. Mello yelped and grabbed more snow to throw it in the collar of L's jacket again, and L cursed when the thin shirt he was wearing under his jacket went wet.

"Hahaha, I got you, L!! Snow, snoooow!!"

L tickled Mello and watched the blond cutie roll around in the snow. "Don't call me L!! Before you know it, you call me that when others who aren't from Wammy's are around, and then- WAH!!"

Mello had made a hard ice ball and hit L's cheekbone with it, and L gripped his face to feel if nothing happened to his eye.

Luckily, nothing had.

"Hey, there's Matt!! I'm gonna hit HIM!!"

Mello ran away, but first he hugged L tightly and put some more snow in his neck. L smiled when he saw Mello run away and throw an armful of snow in the other boy's face. He was home…

"I see you're having fun with Mello?"

L turned around. Aimee was smiling at him, Lily still behind her.

L got up, still smiling too. "Very well noticed. Mello and I could be called 'brothers' by now."

He walked away, to go get some cake, but the girls followed him. Lily grabbed his arm. "Aww, what are you going to do..? Can we come with you…?"

L rolled his eyes. Like it'd be so interesting to watch him eating cake.

"And why, may I ask, do you want to follow me…?"

Lily hugged his arm. "Because we're your fangirls, of course!! We-hmpf!!"

L repressed a smile when he saw her being pushed away in the face by Aimee. She was annoying, yeah…

"What Lily means is that we are happy to see you again and would like to spend some time with you, if you don't mind."

L liked that girl. She was still annoying and as unattractive and not-sexy as that Lily-person, but at least she knew how to talk.

"I don't see why it would bother me if you watched me eating cake."

The exact truth.

…The girls took it as an invitation. "Well, let's go then!! WOHOO!!"

L was dragged forward by the hands of that…girl, towards the kitchen. He looked at the bowl filled with strawberries and took one out of it, bit in it and licked the juice off his lips, enjoying the sweetness. When he looked up again, he saw the girls both staring at him with blushes resembling the strawberry. What was the point…?

"C-could you do that again…?"

Lily…Weird kid. "What should I do again, then?"

The blonde curls bounced around the round face of L's most annoying admirer.

"Eat a piece of strawberry…"

L shrugged and popped the fruit in his mouth. What did he have to lose…?

The girls' eyes widened dramatically when he licked the juice off his fingers. He suddenly noticed the cold of the snow in his clothes, and the fact that he was wet and shivering.

"I guess I'd better take a shower before I catch a cold. I see you two later."

L shivered again when he felt the gazes of the girls in his back and slouched upstairs. Snow. He liked it. He walked into his own room, threw all his clothes off and stared at himself in the mirror. White, too thin and hairless. He was the one who'd caused the last thing. As soon as he noticed the hair growing under his arms and There Where No One Would Ever Come, he'd decided he didn't like it and shaved it all off. Of course, it turned back, and it itched like hell. He shaved it again. This time, it got all red and itchy, and he was a month later when he decided to get it all out of his way. He'd taken that sticky stuff women used for their legs and smeared it everywhere where he didn't want any hair to grow. Let it get hard for a few minutes, and rip it off. It was painful and the first time he'd screamed like hell, and had been happy to be in a five-stars hotel with isolating walls when Watari was out to get him some cake. Watari had looked at him questioningly the last Monthly Examine. L had replied that that hair kept him from thinking, and Watari hadn't paid any more attention to it.

And now, L was hairless and he liked it. Of course there was still that annoying facial hair, the voice that didn't seem his and other… problems that caused him to clean his bed pretty much often. But the facial hair only had to be shaved once a week, his voice wasn't that low that it scared him (there was one guy in Wammy's whose voice had dropped so deep in a short amount of time that he was scared to talk now) and the other 'problems' weren't caused by sexual dreams for as far as he knew, and he had his own room so it didn't bother him. He was taller than most guys of his age (he'd always been, a little), his skin was practically flawless, his hair fell in wild, black locks around his face and girls found the thick eye liner under his eyes sexy (Two years, and Watari wouldn't force him into sleeping again once in a while. And he could finally get real black eye bags, yay...). Plus, he was L, he was an amazing detective. Because of all that, others found him interesting, hot and that's why he was popular. That was his high-school Wammy's-fate, and he didn't dislike it. Why should he.

L stared at the legs which had grown about an inch longer, it looked, in a ridiculous short amount of time and decided they looked clumsy. Long legs were for girls with a fashion-addiction or for those pretty-boys. Not for him. That meant buying more baggy jeans…He didn't need to show the content of his boxers (No. Slips. NEVER) to the world either.

Perfect.

L smiled at himself and immediately got the very same smile back. What would be behind those mirrors? Was it just a reflection or was there a world behind it? There was no scientific proof that it wasn't a parallel universe or something…He waved at the boy with the thick eye liner and got a happy wave back. L was doing well today, and so was his reflection. At least that reflection, or another person in another universe, seemed to understand how he thought. And, it was another entity that didn't appreciate clumsy long legs. No one really seemed to understand that.

It froze outside and he shivered. It was bathing time.

_*******_

_  
_"There he is!!"

"Law, this way!!"

L smiled a little when he walked into the main room of Wammy's and was welcomed by four other 'teens' of Wammy's. Two girls who admired him to no end, and two guys adoring both him and Aimee. Aimee because she was "hot, she's tha bomb man!!" and him because he was way too cool for them. It was Christmas dinner today, and all the children and people working in Wammy's had dinner together. L waved at them lamely and first walked to Wammy to hug him, and to Mello, Near and Matt to receive a big hug, a ruffle in his hair and a shy "Merry Christmas, L…" from Near. He smiled and hugged the three of them, to stand up again, hug the Surinam nurse too and go back to Aimee and the rest.

"Hi…I guess I first had to hug Mello."

The others nodded and L sat down between Lily and Joy, the little boy whose real name was 'Jonathan Pickles', L knew (much to his… 'joy', heh, heh…) and he noticed more people looking at him. Watari had insisted that he'd have a social life at Wammy's up to his eighteenth birthday, when he was an adult. He was kind of antisocial by nature, not shy at all or socially handicapped, just_ antisocial_ (do I need to spell it out for you?), and distant by nature. They'd tested him on every sort of autism, and other social handicaps, borderline, depression, youth traumas, you name it, but all the tests turned out negative. He was just a very distant person who wasn't particularly interested in most people, and mostly those people were the ones who let him test on things like that every time.

Meaning: They couldn't stand that he didn't like them enough to let them closer.

Meaning: They just hated Mello.

L searched out all the sweet things on the table, and replied once in a while when someone asked him something (which was all the time). He was glad when dinner was over. He wanted to get up, hug Mello goodnight and go to his room, to tap away on his laptop (He had one!! He had his own laptop, they'd made them, finally!!) a little, but he was stopped by Mello, Matt and some other kids clinging to his legs, screaming for him to tell them a bedtime story. He saw one guy he didn't know much about walking past him and giving him a jealous look. Right, that guy aspired to be a writer… He wanted to.

"Uhm, don't you want Ido to tell you a story…? Ido?"

Ido turned around and tried hard to hide his jealousy, but he wasn't good at it (and if he could, L would see right through it anyway). He smiled sourly and waved at him. "No, you do it. You want Law, isn't it, kids…?"

All the kids aged three to six cheered and took L's hands, to pull him to the sitting room and push him in a comfortable chair. The kids tried to creep as close as possible and L somehow felt suffocated… He smiled at Mello, Matt and Near who sat on the couch, letting the younger kids cling to him. "Okay…What kind of story should I tell…?"

He couldn't pull his knees up, and it felt weird not to be able to do so. He most likely wasn't going to produce a proper story like this…

"Tell us about your last case!!"

"Yes, do that!!"

"Case, caaaase!!"

L sighed. His last case had been way too morbid for those children, and he lied that it had been about thieves who'd robbed a chocolate factory. He actually solved that case half a year ago, it had been his favorite case so far. The chocolate factory had supplied him with enough chocolate to feed a whole orphanage. And it wasn't hard to figure out which orphanage L would feed with it. He hadn't done it yet, he still had to do that…Tomorrow he'd arrange it. The children found the story delicious, and L tried to make it as vivid as possible. He knew he could speak as monotone as he wanted around adults, but it was different with children.

"And now, you're all going asleep, and I'll be arranging a present for everyone who can figure out what it will be."

All the eyes went big, especially Mello's. L smirked and told the kids that if they heard crocodiles in their closet, it was most likely a sound caused by something normal that was formed into some kind of scary object by their imagination, causing them irrational fear. If they were really scary, they had to walk to the closet to meet the crocodile and see that they weren't scary at all, but very gentle creatures who were afraid and therefore lived in closets. The kids just nodded and fought to give him a goodnight hug, and L thought about the president of America. He had told him the same when the president had asked him to find out who came into his room. It appeared that it had been a squirrel. The president hadn't understood L's saying, though, and had shot the squirrel because he believed it was dangerous. There sure were more paranoid people in the world than just L…

It took ten minutes to hug all the children, but after that, they went asleep without problems. Mello, Near and Matt stayed after the others were gone, and looked at L.

"That's not the case you did. Chocolate was from half a year ago."

L smiled. "How do you know, Mello…?"

Mello stood up and planted his hands on his hips.

"Because I found all that chocolate in your bag when you came here half a year ago!! Remember?! Summer break, nu-uh!!"

Mello's verbal skills were far above the average. That boy had just turned six…?

Matt had taken his gameboy and started to press the buttons vigorously. His fingers were too small and Near crept a little closer, interested in the thing the redhead held in his hands.

"Yes, but I still have the right to claim more chocolate, and it can all be here tomorrow night if I call them now. Christmas or not, there are always people there…"

Mello's face lit up, and he hugged L around his waist. "I love you, L…I'm glad you're back."

L stroked his hair. He was glad that he was back too. A white Christmas…

"Law."

L turned his head. It was Aimee, standing in the doorway.

"We're going to watch a movie, will you join us?"

L thought about it for a second. It wasn't like a night alone with his laptop was that important. It was Christmas, after all…

He hugged the three boys goodbye, promised Mello they'd make chocolate milk tomorrow, and went to the television room where everyone older than twelve had gathered. He ignored the fact that Aimee had taken his hand and pulled him to The Couch, the most comfortable one were was space enough for one-and-half person. L couldn't crouch, he had to sit, and Aimee sat close to him. She held his hand, and L just let her, not reacting. He ate some more strawberries, and he felt Aimee looking at him, instead of the movie. It annoyed him. Sure, Aimee was a very nice girl, and L liked her in person, but he just didn't feel anything for her. He didn't consider her as 'hot', 'sexy' or 'girlfriend material', things other boys around him found. He suddenly noticed most of them looked at them more than normal, and he felt the burning stare of Chris from the other side of the room. Should he feel guilty or not…? Nah, better not. He had better things to do.

The movie was about some genius man who had to save the earth, but to them, it was mostly comedy. Yeah, as if things like that would happen…L smirked. He didn't know if it was saving the earth what he did, but it came close, sometimes…Imagine a chocolate factory failing, that would mean depressed people all over the world!! What would they have to do with Mello, then…? Okay, that was exaggerated, one chocolate factory didn't matter, but what if all of them stopped working…? L pondered over that for a while, 40% less accurate, but still relaxed. When the movie was over, they watched another one, about some detective this time. People turned around often to see his reaction on things (or just at Aimee, who'd laid a hand on his thigh and could only look at L's lower body. L was glad he didn't wear fitting jeans, that would mean stares…), and it was annoying. Less than two years, and he could leave it all behind him…

The movie was over, and L slouched upstairs, not intending to sleep at all. He took his laptop and played some games of spider solitaire. There wasn't anything on the internet yet, poorly. Ten years, and the internet would be a world on itself, he was very sure. No, less. Five.

He heard something in his doorway, and looked up to see Mello.

"L…I can't sleep."

L smiled. "Why not?"

Mello smirked both malicious and sweet at the same time, and balanced one on foot, hands behind his back; the stereotypical image of a child asking for something.

"I want to make chocolate milk…"

L glanced at the clock at his laptop screen. It was almost twelve o'clock. Watari and the others were still down there, there was life in Wammy's.

"You already brushed your teeth, Mello. We'll make chocolate milk tomorrow."

Mello pouted and looked at him angrily. "Stupid L."

L smiled and shut his laptop down. "Shall we look at the snow for a few minutes? After that, you go asleep without any further problems, okay?"

Mello blinked and looked at him with a calculating look in his eyes, but gave in and nodded. L took him in his arms and carried him through the hallway, was a big window that showed a large part of Wammy's garden. The moon lit their faces and L pointed at the snowman in the middle of the white landscape. It had snowed again, and all the 'damaged' snow was covered in a layer of white again.

"You made that one, with Matt and Near?"

Mello played with the collar of L's shirt. "Yes, but Near is stupid…He wanted to make a robot man, and Matt too, but I made a snow man of it."

L smirked. Typically Mello. Near and Matt never really cared about it, they let Mello do as he pleased… Perfect, actually. Mello didn't like Near, but Near didn't care about it and they always hung around together. L found it funny.

Mello poked his Adam's apple with his finger. "Why do you have thi-is…?"

L smiled, wondering how many times Mello had asked that already.

"Because my voice got lower. As a guy, your voice drops somewhere when you're twelve or thirteen. Your larynx gets wider in order to get that. And that little piece of cartilage is in the way, it gets pushed forwards and you get this."

Mello tried to pinch it, but L pushed the little fingers away. "Don't, it doesn't feel nice."

The little boy blinked, stared at the weird bump on his considered-older-brother's throat, touched his own and decided he'd examine it later. He was getting sleepy, and laid his head on L's shoulder. L rocked him slowly until Mello started to feel heavy and brought him to bed. He watched him, Near and Matt for a minute and went back to his own room. He wondered if he should turn his laptop on again, but decided not to. He stared at the snow outside and sighed. He wondered how it would be in ten years. Where would he be and with whom…? He was always wondering what the future had to look like. It calmed him down. The world was in the palm of his hand…

A little snow fell from the tree he could see outside of his window. The birds from today were probably celebrating Christmas in their nest. L wished them well. Tomorrow he'd feed them some more corn. He stood up and changed into pajamas, a simple white shirt with shorts. He waved at himself in the mirror. Merry Christmas, other world!! He grinned, closed the curtains and fell asleep, pondering over everything he liked to ponder over.

A white Christmas.

_*******_

Nine years and a few weeks later, L Lawliet woke up from a dream. About a white Christmas. Memories.

He noticed he felt warm inside. He didn't like dreaming because he was scared of nightmares, and if he had nightmares they were most of the time about having nightmares. But this hadn't been a nightmare. Unbelievable that dreams only took ten minutes. It felt like half a day.

He looked around in the room he was sitting in, and noticed Soichiro sitting in his chair. Asleep. It wasn't snowing outside and it wasn't Christmas.

It wasn't a white Christmas.

He smiled and got up to make himself some chocolate milk.

Christmas or not, it was always time for that.

_*******_

_A/N: And now, go and drink some chocolate milk!!:D Merry Christmas!!_


	6. Face

_A/N: …__Well. Maybe you'll notice I screw up the order of first and last name more often. I prefer just calling them 'Touta Matsuda' and all, but I'll call Light 'Yagami Light', for the simple reason that I find it so…Cute^^ I hope that it doesn't disturb you, and that you actually agree with me:D _

_**6**__**. Face**_

Five. There were five police agents left who wanted to work together with L.

Five wasn't much compared to the amount of people working for him in the beginning.

Five, though, was exactly how many people L had in mind when he thought about working together on a personal level. Five was enough to gather information and investigate Kira, but it wasn't that many people that L would have to actually focus on where information could leak. Five was easy to watch and get to know. Seven would become annoying and three would mean too little manpower.

Perfect, if you thought about it like that.

And now there were five men standing here in front of him, gawking at him, looking uneasy as their image of a broad, moustache-wearing, middle-aged and grey detective shattered at their feet.

They thought L was eighteen, he knew he looked like that. It was funny to him, though.

"Bang."

Funny. They thought he was crazy. Oh well, they had to get used to him… L didn't feel uneasy in their presence or the idea that they could actually see his face. They were like bats. Act normal, they're more scared of you than you are of them.

Not that L was scared of them.

Soichiro Yagami. He'd spoken directly to L before, through the computer. It was strange to see him in real-life. He was exactly as L had expected. The man looked so sincere. Easy to see through and a bit simple-minded compared to L, but so were most people…

L liked that man, and with him, it would be easy to figure out more about his son, Light. L wanted to know more about the boy. He was Kira after all. He couldn't wait until he'd be interrogating Soichiro.

And he could ask whatever he wanted. It was only natural to be curious if there was someone possibly as smart as you. And, he was L. He only had to give Soichiro _The Stare_ to make him shut up if he asked questions, would it be necessary.

Maybe Soichiro would ask _him_ if he could give him tips over what went around in his son's head…? Yeah, as if he could know. He wasn't raised in Japan…He betted that that poor Kira-kid would have to study for school and all, all day long. Awww…Poor, poor Kira.

Ah, the other guys.

Matsuda. Touta? Touta. Funny name, too. He really looked weirded out by L's appearance. He was probably one of the most simple-minded persons here. Mogi, maybe… No. Definitely Matsuda. The description 'airhead' almost seemed made for him. L had heard him speak before…

Yes. Airhead.

That Mogi-guy…Didn't look like he'd talk too much, actually. A bit boring to L. Someone quiet and mysterious could be interesting, but Mogi was easy to see through too. Oh well. He'd definitely work hard and not complain or ask too much.

Aizawa? He obviously didn't trust L yet. Sigh… Just what L needed…Hm. This guy worked hard too. For his family. L liked that. He didn't really have a family, but he was willing to work hard for the people of Wammy's. To him, they were his family. Mello…

And Ukita? He smelled like smoke. As long as he didn't come too close to L…

Not that L hadn't noticed him being a hard worker too.

Yes, and there had been that Ide-guy with his microwave lasagna. He'd wanted to catch Kira, but refused to work with L. L grinned inwardly when he thought about that guy. Stubborn like L and so… conservative. A stereotypical boring guy who'd be disapproving of anything creative L came up with. Hell, it was him who was a detective…L was happy he didn't have to look at that face watching him. 'A _minor_, did he have to work with that…?' One: L was raised with the idea that you were mature if you were eighteen. Here, you were mature if you were _nineteen_. Stupid… Two: L wasn't eighteen, or nineteen, and therefore not a minor.

But he was right; you couldn't trust L. Lying was his nature.

Perfect. L grinned again…

…Inwardly, not visibly. That would make him look like an idiot.

But their gazes when he talked to them...Stunned.

Weirdo's.

…Right, he was the weirdo in their eyes.

L enjoyed the looks they gave him as soon as he started talking smart. He knew he was a genius, but it was always nice to have it confirmed. Especially like this. As soon as their attention was attracted by the things he said and they didn't listen to him anymore, Soichiro addressed him.

"Ryuzaki, I have a question…You said you were childish and that you hate to lose. Doesn't the fact you showed your face mean you lost…?"

He had a point. Smart man.

"Yes. The fact that I had to show my face and the death of the FBI-agents mean I lost the battle."

That was true. And sure L was going to beat Kira for this, that bitch.

"But I will win the war!! I want to show you, who gathered here, that Justice Will Prevail!!"

A smile. The smile L had seen in the mirror before when he'd solved a great case. Justice Had Prevailed and he'd been blown away by the sight of his own face.

Yep, they were stunned too.

L stepped out of his chair and walked to the window, and stared out of it.

"Now I will interrogate all of you, to make sure Kira isn't among us."

They looked stunned again. It didn't seem to stop today…

"Ryuzaki is right…Kira would've stayed to see L's face, right…?"

And they were getting smarter every minute.

L stared out of the window a little longer and wondered what Kira was doing now. Most likely going through everything he'd done, to see he hadn't made a mistake that could lead L to him…

One mistake was all L needed…

…

… Or, maybe he was just killing criminals again.

L turned around again and asked Matsuda to come with him. As soon as he was done with him, he could fully concentrate on the others.

He walked away from the discussing voices, the Matsuda-guy following him. When they sat down in the other room, Matsuda turned to L and gawked at him again.

"Are you actually L?!"

L kept his face blank. He expected him to say something like that…

"Yes. Do you doubt my integrity, Matsuda-san?"

Matsuda suddenly looked puzzled. "No!! I just…I thought L would be old!! I mean, how long have you been L, twelve years?! How old are you then!? You must've been L since you were eight or so!! That's young, and I thought you had a moustache, a big one like the Chief has, and that you were taller than Mogi because you had to be European, and, and…"

L inwardly rolled his eyes. Sorry to disappoint you…

"I believe Matsuda-san should calm down. I think you can understand I can't tell too much about myself, first since I'm L and we're trying to catch Kira, second because no one but me and Watari know things like that, and third because this conversation should be about the fact if you are Kira or not, Matsuda-san. Are you with me?"

Matsuda stared at him for another few seconds before L's words actually made sense to him.

"Yes, I understand!! Of course, I'm not L, you are L, I mean-"

"Shall we start the interrogation, Matsuda-san?"

Matsuda looked down and blushed.

"Yes…Okay."

Finally… What an airhead.

_*******_

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddyyy!!! Look what I made!!"

Soichiro turned around to see a little boy with naturally tanned skin and big brown eyes, his son, run towards him with a sheet of paper held in his hands. He was so proud of him, every time he saw his little boy.

"What have you made, Light?"

"A drawing!! We had to draw our hero, but I couldn't choose, so I did this!!"

Soichiro took the drawing and looked at it. Light was a good drawer, he saw. Not extraordinary, but better than some kids of his age. It was a man in a grey suit, with glasses and a moustache, with next to him another man wearing a raincoat and a hat. The first one had the English text 'Dad!!' next to it, the other one (who was taller, Soichiro noticed) a big L next to his head. Soichiro smiled. "L and I are your heroes?"

Light smiled brightly. "Yes, I want to be like you are!! I want to be strong too, I want to be good and I want to save others!! No more evil, good, isn't it?!"

Soichiro took Light in his arms and lifted him up. Light was getting heavier and taller every day it seemed. Soichiro suddenly felt weird. Light would grow too, become an adult. He wouldn't need him anymore. Maybe he'd be Light's hero no longer. He hugged the little boy in his arms and Light hugged back.

"I love you, Daddy."

Soichiro put Light down (he was getting heavy, really) and patted him on his head. "And you are my little boy, Light. That will never change."

Light pricked Soichiro's moustache. "If you don't shave Harry, will he grow veeeery big too?"

He always called his father's moustache 'Harry', after the Harry Potter-books he was reading at the moment (in English). He'd found it hard in the beginning, but he was doing better again, and he'd liked the name 'Harry' so much, and decided to call something he liked 'Harry'.

"Yes, he will grow veeeery big too, but then it will itch too much and my son won't want to hug me anymore. That would make me sad."

Light blinked. "Can't Harry hug you, then? If he grows big enough, you can use him as a face warmer!! That would be so cool!!"

Light. Light and his cute little fantasies.

"I'd rather hug my son."

Light smiled and hugged his father again. Hero. Soichiro and Light were so proud of each other. Father and son. Soichiro was sure there was no deeper bond possible between two people, though a son would possibly never realize it.

Anyway, how cute Light chose him together with L. He only knew him from Soichiro's stories, did he make such an impression on Light? Soichiro find it good that Light chose such a strong and righteous role-model. Better than Shin Chan…

Would Light meet L one day…? Soichiro wondered. L would like Light, probably. Maybe he'd recognize himself in Light. Maybe not. He'd most likely find him interesting and Light would be happy.

Everything for Light.

The day after, Soichiro spoke with L. Through a camera and a synthetic voice, but he did nonetheless. About a big drug ring somewhere in Tokyo. Soichiro wondered if he should tell L about his little son, but decided not to. It wasn't professional.

At least he had something to tell Light tonight.

_*******_

"Yagami-san?"

Soichiro stepped in and looked at the young face of the World's Greatest Detective.

L.

'Ryuzaki'.

"Sit down, please."

Soichiro did as he was told and looked at L again. He looked so young, but still indefinable. Sometimes he saw serious expressions making L look thirty; sometimes he looked like a child. That smile just a little time ago… Amazing… Most of the time he looked like someone who was for about twenty.

Why were ages so important anyway…? He was talking to L.

"I believe we have conversed before?"

Soichiro smiled nervously. "Yes, we did. Ten years ago for the first time, I believe… It's funny to see the face behind the laptop screen."

L smiled cutely again for a second. "I believe so too. It's an honor to work together with you face to face, Yagami-san."

It sounded genuine. Soichiro suddenly felt so much sympathy for the young man in front of him.

"I feel the same."

L smiled again. A little, but it was genuine, Soichiro saw.

"Let's start the interrogation. Yagami-san."

Soichiro nodded in agreement.

"If you wanted to catch Kira, what would you do?"

He blinked. "Investigate the murders and check suspects for possible clues."

'O_r work together with you.'_

L nodded. "What would you do if you were Kira?"

Soichiro blinked again. "I'd give up my powers and confess!! Murder is not right!! There are better ways to bring justice!!"

L didn't blink. "What would you do if you were Kira, and you believed you were right?"

Soichiro looked mildly disturbed for a second. He didn't want to think about that. "I'd try to make everyone I found good happy."

The young man wasn't content yet. "What kinds of actions would you perform?"

Soichiro blinked again. Was this the test if he was Kira or not…?

He sighed. "I find this hard."

L nodded. "I understand. Please take your time."

Soichiro sighed and looked at the blank face in front of him. If he wanted to kill L and continue his killings, what would he do…?

"I…I believe I'd want people to stand behind me, to feel the same about the new world I created… I would try to get in the media as much as possible, to make people think it was right to kill murderers."

L nodded again. "Thank you, Yagami-san. Well…Could you tell me something about yourself? What are you motives to continue working on this case?"

Soichiro's motives…His family, Justice… "I want Justice to prevail too, and I want to protect my family against evil."

For a moment he thought he saw a shadow flicker through the black eyes watching him. It was gone when he looked again. Maybe it had been his imagination…?

"Could you tell me some more about your family?"

L already knew more about Soichiro's family…It was unthinkable he'd work together with persons he didn't know anything about. He'd know about Light too, probably…

"Well, I think you already investigated," –L nodded almost invisibly- "but I have a wife, a son and a daughter. My wife works in the house all day long, my son will be attending university within a few weeks and my daughter is in second grade."

L tilted his head to the side. It looked ridiculously cute on someone classified as an 'adult'.

"Could you tell me some more about your son? Light?"

Soichiro blinked. "What should I tell about him?"

L smiled a little. "Doesn't really matter. I heard about his intelligence before and I'm curious to hear more about your son."

Soichiro smiled too. He'd been right all these years. L would be interested in Light. Should he tell this to Light or not…? No, better not. Light wasn't eight anymore, and it should be a secret that he worked together with L.

"My son, Light…He's a hard worker, always studying, if not he's putting up with others. He's very social, has a lot of friends and is rather popular, from what I've seen…Really sensitive and a great sense of justice though, always trying to protect those he loves, especially his little sister. He's interested in the Kira-case too. Because of him, two impossible-looking cases were solved the last year, and he really wants to join the police. Oh, and he drew…'you' once when he had to draw his hero."

Another smile flashed over L's face. "What did I look like?"

Soichiro thought about the drawing. It hung in the hallway, he saw it every time he came home…

"You're wearing a raincoat and a hat, you're tall and for about forty. You're holding a pipe in your hand, with the text 'Todai I'll Quit Smokig' next to it."

L smiled again. "I presume he was reading Sherlock Holmes back then?"

Soichiro laughed. "I think so. He was eight when he made it, he started with English classes when he was five, because he was bored in class. Yes, he must've read it by that time…"

L's smile was nice to look at. At first sight, when you listened to him, he felt like a cold and distant person, and Soichiro figured it would take longer than the Kira-case to get to know more about him. Seeing him smile like this made him feel warm. L was a good person.

"Yagami-san, I believe we're having a nice conversation, but maybe it's better to turn back to the Kira-case."

Soichiro stood up. "Yes. Should I call Aizawa?"

L nodded again. "That would be nice. Thank you, Yagami-san."

Soichiro had never felt this much sympathy for someone whose face he'd seen for not much longer than an hour.

_*******_

God was on his side. It was clear. He was righteous.

Light felt euphoric when he walked home after seeing Naomi Misora disappear in the streets. She'd been so close to the truth. If he hadn't found out her name, if she'd been too stubborn, if he hadn't met her at all… So close, Light felt nauseous when he thought about it.

But he'd met her. He'd found out her name, and she had walked away, even after Light had told her he was Kira. A month ago this would've broke him, but Light had enough of that. He didn't have to feel sick anymore. Of course his conscience still rubbed the back of his mind, but he knew he was right. God was on his side.

He met Naomi Misora, and she'd given him his name. Was it pure luck, or had it been the hand of God…? Light didn't know, but if it had been Him, this was a sign that God wanted this to happen, that God wanted him to bring justice to the world. God.

God wanted him to rule over the world like a God. He was mortal, he knew that very well, but still he could do things like this. God. God. Light felt the fire of the obsession burn in his mind, heating his brain. So. Close.

He'd been saved. Light sighed.

This was starting to annoy him.

He had to deal with L soon.

_*******_

"Two double espresso's, please."

Soichiro smiled and watched Light receiving their hot coffee from the girl who stared at him longingly. They were in a café close to the headquarters, a small but cosy and warm space with warm lights spreading an orange glow over Light's face. His son. He'd missed him. He was glad to see him again. How happy he'd been when Light announced he was coming to the police headquarters to have a coffee break together. It had been five days since he'd seen him and he was glad to see him again. He looked so vivid; Soichiro felt a great contrast with his own sleepless face.

Light smiled at his father. "Here, Dad, a double espresso. You look like you could use it. Is it tiring, trying to catch Kira?"

Soichiro sighed. He wasn't allowed to tell anything of this, though he was burning to tell Light about L. He'd be so excited and curious. Soichiro took a deep breath, not out of exhaustion, but to suppress the desire to tell about L. Light looked a little worried now.

"Don't you overwork yourself, Dad? You'll end up in the hospital if you go on like this. That won't help the Kira-case at all, and I don't want something to happen to you."

Soichiro smiled at his son. Light. He felt relieved to talk to him again. Like he wasn't forgotten or alone. It was also exhausting to work together with people who weren't the family you lived for, people you never shared a room with. Not his own house or his own bed. Mostly talk about the Kira-case, and if it wasn't about the Kira-case it was family-related and he would miss his family even more. He looked at the now really worried face of his only son. Light…

Soichiro suddenly felt guilty. Light missed him too; he could see it in his eyes. He wanted to make him feel better…

"It's hard indeed, but I have a good place to stay… Apart from the lack of sleep, I'm doing fine. I work with nice, dedicated people and there's progress. Don't worry about me."

Light didn't seem convinced, but he didn't complain and took a sip of his coffee. Soichiro decided to change the subject.

"But Light, how is it going with studying? Are you doing well? You look like you sleep enough…"

Light smiled. "When you sleep enough, your brain will function better and you are able to get much more work done, Dad. Something for you to consider?"

Soichiro laughed. "I'll take it in consideration."

He was such a funny boy. Soichiro chatted with him one full hour about nothing in particular before he decided it was really time to go back. Light looked at his watch and pulled a hurried face.

"Dad, the bus two streets away departs in three minutes!! Maybe I'd better go, if I want to catch that one. Good luck, and try to sleep more, okay?"

Soichiro nodded to take his son in his arms to hug him tight. Light, he hadn't hugged him for too long. He smelled his son's hair, something that always calmed him down and made him feel happier. Light had grown so mature, his shoulders were broader than before and he was now barely an inch shorter than Soichiro.

He was so proud. And Light was still his son who'd never truly grow up in his eyes.

He felt reluctant when he had to release his hold on his son, but let him go nonetheless. Light picked up his coat and pulled it on. He smiled at his father once more before hurrying after the bus he was trying to catch. Soichiro watched him disappear. He didn't like the fact that Light was going away again, but he felt better nonetheless. New energy, the reason why he was doing this. He was trying to protect his family for Kira. His wife. His daughter.

His son.

He wanted to leave the café himself when he noticed something from out of the corner of his eye. Light had left his vest in the café. Soichiro sighed and picked it up. He'd take it with him and bring it home later. He resisted the urge to bury his face in it and use it as a pillow, and fall asleep right there, in the café. Instead, he draped it over his arm and walked away, back to the headquarters. It was snowing outside, again. He liked that. And Light liked it too, he knew. It had snowed once at his birthday, and Light had found it beautiful. Soichiro sniffed in the cold and fresh air and watched his breath condensing in the air. Fresh. This made him feel better too.

It was exhausting, sure, but he suddenly remembered everything he did it for. Justice, his family. He was going to catch Kira soon. He felt the energy of the double espresso rush through his veins.

He was doing well again. Luck. Soichiro felt good again.

What made everything perfect was the sight of a black-haired creature sitting on the couch in the headquarters, his head resting on his knees and his thumb on his lip, his eyes closed. L was sleeping and he looked so peaceful. Soichiro already wondered how he'd gained those bags. Maybe, with all that sugar Soichiro had noticed him eating, he had enough energy to keep him vivid all the time. But even then you needed sleep. Soichiro sighed. His son was right. You were so much better off with sleep. Maybe he should take a short nap too... But not before draping Light's soft sweater over L's shoulders.

Soichiro stretched out. L had hired a second room next to his one with three 'smaller' (five-stars and bigger than Soichiro's entire living room!!) bedrooms for them to sleep. It was time to go there.

He took one last look at the peacefully sleeping L and suddenly wondered if it was possible to go asleep after a double espresso.

_*******_

L blinked.

L blinked again.

The softness of deep sleep still hovered over his mind and body as he lifted his head to take in his surroundings. It was most likely evening, it was dark outside and his stomach was protesting against the lack of sugary food (not that L's appetite was a good indicator for the time of the day). He felt something on his shoulders and lifted a hand to it; something soft and warmed by his own body. He shivered when he pulled it off, and held it a little closer to keep the warmth with him somehow.

It was a vest. A beige vest made of very soft fleece. L ran his hand over it. Very nice. But how had it came on his back…?

He wanted to put it away, when he smelled something nice. Something warm, something that raised goosebumps on his arms because of its goodness. He realized it was the vest. It smelled…_warm_ and…just very nice. L buried his nose in it and breathed in the great deliciousness that was this vest. Was it his…? Maybe Watari had noticed him sleeping and decided to cover him a little, and took this vest. L knew Watari had more 'serious' clothing for him, that was what this vest was, probably. What brand would it be…? Was this some material he didn't know, was it his own skin he was enjoying so much…? No, that wasn't likely…It was probably the material, or the place it was stored. Closets smelled sweet, sometimes.

He sniffed the warmth in again and tried to decide what this sweater smelled like. It was…warm, that was the first word that kept on popping up in L's mind. The vest itself, but the smell was 'warm' too. It smelled natural, not something like perfume or fake leather or anything. Pure nature. Wood, maybe…? No… Salt, sweet, and sharp, too…Human…

L didn't know if he was right, since he didn't smell others much often, but he wondered if this could be the scent of someone else's skin. Masculine, but soft. Typical, but soothing. A young male…? L hadn't smelled too many women in his life and he wasn't particularly interested in that either. His mother, cousins and aunts scents were too long ago to remember, some girls at Wammy's, random women sometimes when he was stuck in a crowd…Nothing spectacular. When they had sugary perfumes on L liked the perfume, but the women wearing it still didn't smell special or anything.

No, this wasn't what a female smelled like, L was sure. This was strong, but soft. Very dubious. It made him feel warm inside, too. The same feeling when he watched that picture of Soichiro's son.

He'd felt the same...curiosity when he talked to Soichiro about that boy. His mind was becoming completely occupied by Light. L wanted to catch him, to see how he killed those criminals, but he also wanted to talk to him, to see if he was who he looked like. He wondered what kind of person would lie behind that perfect surface. How he thought, next to the patterns he could easily make out from Kira's actions.

L felt a certain tension in his core. Desire to catch Kira, to catch Light and see how Kira's mind worked, why he'd started all this…Why he thought he was righteous…And small-talk, getting to know Light.

Um, Kira.

L looked at the vest again. Could it be that Soichiro brought it with him, that Light had left it in the café Soichiro had announced they'd meet, and that Soichiro had draped it over him while he was sleeping…? That this was Light's vest? That it was Light who made this vest smell great. The collar smelled like clean hair and coconut shampoo. Feminine, but L couldn't complain. It was sweet and he used fruit shampoo himself too. Cucumber, at the moment, but that wasn't fruit, so that didn't count. Oh, wait, cucumber was fruit, it just didn't smell sweet. The armpits smelled like clean male sweat. Light showered every day for sure…

L buried his face in the vest again. It was Yagami Light, Soichiro's son, Kira, who made this vest smell great; there was no doubt over it. What a pity that he had to be sentenced to death after L had caught him. There was nothing in the world that smelled like this.

L put the vest aside when Soichiro came in and noticed him awake. It wasn't important. There were better things in the world than a tantalizing smell. Justice, for example. Catching Kira.

And coffee with cake, but L guessed that wasn't much more important either.

_*******_

_A/N: Yesyes, the wonder of pheromones…Really, some guys smell great. I like hugging, and sometimes you smell someone and you're like: OMG. Faint. (It are always the hot guys smelling like that:3)__ Yayz^^_


	7. Coconut

_A/N:__ Sorry for the wait (I hoped:3), like some of you might know from my notes in Fading Light and my profile, was my laptop crashed somehow and…well, I couldn't update anything I hope you like this chap:3 Love^^_

_**7**__**. Coconut**_

His sweater. He'd left it in the café. And now it smelled…different.

Light stared at the sweater his Dad brought home a few moments ago. His Dad was asleep now, but it was ten o'clock and Light didn't feel sleepy yet. He'd wanted to put his sweater away, but Ryuk had wanted to tease him and picked it out of his hands, to throw it in his face.

And there he'd noticed it.

It was very vague, so vague Light wasn't even sure if it actually was there. Something too weak to really identify. It was sweet in some way, was the first thing going through Light's mind as the fabric hit his face. Sweet.

Not only sweet, and not sugary-sweet or fruity sweet, more like…salty-sweet or…soft-sweet? No, he couldn't find the right word. Light wondered what it was. What had his Dad done with his sweater, had he spilled rose water over it or something…? Why on earth would he do that?! Maybe it was just Light's own body smell, that had to be it. Yes. It was just him, and Dad's bag that happened to smell a bit sweet.

That was it.

Light buried his nose into the sweater again and decided to throw it into the laundry basket.

But he couldn't.

Wondering why, he furled the sweater and laid it back in his closet.

_*******_

"!! Your son is home again!!"

Soichiro gulped when L remarked that with obvious interest. He wasn't suspecting him, right…? And what the hell had his son bought, porn magazines?!

He was currently sitting next to L, facing computer screens showing his own family. Light had just walked in, straight to his room, a package under his left arm which appeared to have _porn magazines _in it. Porn magazines!! He realized he'd thought Light would never grow up in his eyes. This shocked him. Light had already grown up…?! And he read things like this…!

"This is normal for a seventeen-year-old…Though to me, it's like he wants to say: 'I checked if no one entered my room, because I'm hiding things like this in here'."

Soichiro watched the eyes follow every of his son's movements. Too keenly. L was obviously interested in Light's doing. Soichiro gulped again.

"Ryuzaki, you don't suspect him, do you…?"

L didn't blink. "Of course I do…That's why we placed all those cameras there, after all."

Soichiro gulped. This was getting disturbing. Really disturbing.

They watched his wife and children eat, and he noticed L smiling joyfully when Light said the 1500 police agents were most likely fake.

"Your son is sharp-minded…"

"Huh…? Yes…"

It was true. But now that Soichiro thought about it, that was just more reason to suspect him. L thought Kira was intelligent, and his son was intelligent too. Soichiro suddenly felt shock wash through him when he realized his only son was the World's Greatest Detective's main suspect in the Kira-case.

_L suspected Light of being Kira._

But there was no way his son was Kira, right? He'd never do that; he'd never kill people…Did he?! His son, the young man he'd drank coffee with a few days ago, his son he loved so much, the little boy who'd drawn him next to the detective, whose mind he feared now.

It couldn't be, Light couldn't be Kira, he didn't have the heart to kill…

Kira thought he was justice. That he could get rid of all evil in the world. _"No more evil, good, isn't it, Dad?!"_

Light…Could it be that he was strong enough to…?

Soichiro banned the thought out of his head. No, no way. No way was his son Kira.

He stood up to get himself some coffee.

_*******_

L listened to the man leaving and turned back to Light.

Yagami Light. He didn't look like the student whose eyes had watched him from the sheet of paper L had looked at so many times. This was someone else. His features looked more mature and he was taller than L had expected, he moved so graciously it was suspicious to L. Was this the influence of Kira…? It was interesting to study this guy's movements…This was different than simply watching a picture. This showed more personality, more face behind Kira. This was him, L was sure. What he wanted to gain the next few days was prove that Yagami Light was Kira.

This guy.

Actually, he was exactly how L had expected Kira to be. L had wondered how it would be in person, but Yagami Light looked downright arrogant. Every movement he made, and especially his gaze seemed made with such an air of self-admiration that L wondered why his father didn't see who he really was. Although, maybe it hadn't been this bad before, but had he became like this after he became Kira. L didn't know, but that was what he wanted to find out, right? He was curious about Kira's powers…Would he get to see them?

He blinked when Soichiro returned with a mug filled with coffee. Light was still studying. He mumbled to himself sometimes…Funny. L turned the volume of the speakers of the daughter's room down when 'Love Shine' played loudly and she started to dance on it. She couldn't be Kira. Her older brother was, after all.

_*******_

It was eleven o'clock when Watari had came in with the news that two new criminals who'd been reported on television had died from a heart attack. He was gone again now, and Soichiro had gone to bed too. He needed some sleep, he said. L felt lightly worried over his mental state. It had to be hard, his family being suspected…But being a good L, he had to be honest about everything. Maybe it turned out Light wasn't even Kira. There still was that possibility… An accident, or someone had used Raye Penbar because he knew those people would be suspected, and not him or her…That would mean Light was innocent…

Yeah, right.

First, he needed real proof that Light _wasn't _Kira, and then he'd see how he'd continue.

A few minutes later, nothing suspicious apart from Light's whole persona, Light appeared to find it time to shower. L followed him with his eyes on his way to the bathroom. He was going to shower? Interesting. L bet he groped himself as much as he could, and that he used his mother's body lotion. He couldn't but grin a little. This was going to reveal some secrets…

He suddenly doubted his own integrity, he shouldn't think like this while he was practically doing something illegal, but…Oh, well. He had this privilege because he'd done so much good for the world…

L looked how Light unbuttoned the shirt he was wearing. Indeed, when staring into the mirror. L smiled. If Kira had taken over Light's mind, he apparently liked Light's body too. He almost ate his reflection with his eyes. L wondered if he believed in parallel universes too. Maybe he did, maybe not...If he could get Kira away from Light, he'd ask him. If he couldn't get Kira away from Light, he'd ask it too. He didn't mind being seen as an idiot, he was L and he was a genius. Not an idiot. Kira and Light should both know.

Kira/Light threw the shirt away and stripped the undershirt Light's body was wearing off. He arched his back doing that, and L searched for the best angle to watch it happen. Kira had muscles in his back, and his torso was slender. He watched himself with adoration in his eyes, and posed with his hands on his hips. L couldn't but smile mockingly. Are you a bit narcissistic, Kira?

It got even funnier when he started to strip off his jeans, and L noticed that he was wearing white socks. He remembered some article in the EIGHTEEN, saying men wearing white socks were pragmatic and boring. L had wondered if it was true, but…yeah, would Light be a boring prick? There were things L wanted to find out when he'd be talking to him…

Not Kira. Light. All L wanted to know about Kira was how he killed all those people, and if it was possible to get him out of Light. It would be a waste to waste Light, after all. Such an intelligent person.

L studied Light's movements and turned all the sound in the other rooms off, so that he could concentrate on the bathroom. Just sounds of someone's natural breathing, and the rustling of clothes being stripped off. It was almost as if he was in that very bathroom, and that he could tickle Kira, to see him squirm under his touches.

He wouldn't mind to see Light squirm under his touches anyway…

L tilted his head to the side. He was thinking weird things.

The stupid thing was he didn't like the fact that Kira was occupying Light. Really not. It was a waste of his person. If Light was who L had expected him to be, he had to be so much more than this…conceited narcissist. Maybe he _was _a conceited narcissist, L didn't know, but at least he'd be more than…this.

Kira removed his cell phone and some crisping yens from out of his pockets, laid them in his room(he was walking around in his underwear…what a show-off. Would Light do that…?

…Definitely.) and went back to the bathroom to throw all his clothes in the laundry basket; including his boxers. He was naked when he looked at his reflection again, and looked at his own ass. L couldn't deny it of looking good, but…Light, was this really necessary…?

When he was done watching himself, he prepared a toothbrush, stepped into the shower, and turned it on. L thought about the vest that had turned out to be Light's. Light used coconut shampoo, he was sure…

He was distracted from Kira by coconut shampoo.

_This is your day, L._

He stared at the form of Light through the steam forming, a tanned figure covered in water drops tracing the contours of his body. That was Kira…Especially what L had expected…Kira was conceited and felt better than others. He'd probably have a nice body…He had, definitely. Even L, the master in staying objective, couldn't find any flaws on Light's body.

A little wax wouldn't hurt any, but L had a phobia of body hair, so he didn't know if that counted, regarding the fact that it was natural to be haired in some places.

As long as it wasn't his back, that was sickening. But Light's back was smooth, hairless and there were muscles softly outlined by his tanned skin. Muscles you needed to walk straight…L had tried to walk straight for one day, but it had resulted in painfully tensed muscles in his back after less than an hour. Did Light have tensed muscles…? L wanted to try out…

He played with his toe and watched Light taking the coconut shampoo. It foamed thickly and Light kneaded his own hair, most likely spreading the scent of coconut through his locks. L wished he could smell the vest once more. He liked coconut, and Light smelled good. It was a great combination. Maybe he could go there and smell Light…

No, bad idea.

Light leaned his head back and bared his throat some more when he washed the shampoo out of his head. His forehead was high, but not too high, and his cheekbones and jaw looked fine. Not round, like a child, but not perfectly mature either. An older teen…A pretty one…L leaned forward a little to study the face some better. Kira's face…

Another bottle's turn. Conditioner. Light smeared it into his hair carefully, and took the electric toothbrush. L smirked. Weird kid…He had something adorable, Light. He didn't know what it was…He was eighteen, he was officially an adult in L's eyes, but…something about him was cute. He looked soft, despite Kira's influence. L wondered why he saw it now. Maybe it was the care Light treated his hair with. Kira was conceited, but Light cared for his body. That's how it looked, and L liked it.

Light…

L blinked. He liked Light. He didn't like Kira for sure, but the more he watched the person hiding behind Kira, the more he liked that person. Really, was it necessary to judge Light together with Kira…?

L wanted to know, badly.

After the toothbrush beeped to make clear two minutes had passed, Light put it away and washed the conditioner out of his hair. It looked very soft now, almost child-like. L had sometimes helped Mello washing his hair. Mello's hair was very soft by itself, so maybe it wasn't a good comparison, but L imagined that was what Light's hair had to feel like. Thicker, probably. Mello had a lot of hair, but it wasn't thick. Light's hair had to have more texture…

Ahh, L wished he could touch it.

The next bottle was…silk shower gel.

Silk shower gel…?

L waxed himself, but…this had to be the most feminine thing a man could do while showering. They didn't sell Silk Shower Gel for men, for as far as L knew…And a 'silky-soft' skin was typically something women wished for. The bottle was a brown-pink that resembled Light's nipples, L noticed. He blushed lightly when he realized what he was thinking. It wasn't exactly like him…Oh, well. Would this be Light or Kira doing it…? Not hard to find out…L opened his laptop and started looking for all the bottles of silk shower gel the Yagami household used last year. Nope, the amount of bottles they bought was the same before and after Kira started killing: once every two weeks (L realized Sachiko probably didn't know it was her son using all those bottles; she must think she had a lot of surface to smear with the shower gel…). This was Light's doing before Kira. L felt a little relieved…Light wasn't that much affected by Kira.

And L waxed himself, so he wasn't one to talk.

Light washed his skin with precious care, not missing a single spot of his tanned body. He visibly enjoyed this. What did he think right now, was it a Kira-thought or a Light-thought going on in his head…? Kira would be thinking about killing criminals (and L), Light would enjoy the hot shower and relax some more, happy that his thoughts were slowed down a little…Sigh. L wanted to know. He wished for Light it was one of his own thoughts. It had to be hard to have a mass murderer in the back of his head.

L blinked twice. Wait. What was he thinking…? He had no proof at all that it wasn't just Light who indeed was Kira. He had no proof that there was some power possessing Light. For as good as he could, did he have to stay objective and think of Light as Kira, though it disturbed him. This was such a nice person…L never liked when smart and talented people wasted themselves. But this felt stronger, maybe because he had hoped to separate Light from Kira. He'd solved a case once where someone had committed murder because he was forced to, if he wouldn't, his family would be killed, and later on he lost his memories in a car accident. L knew it wasn't objective what he was doing, but the man who'd done it was a very intelligent and good-willing man who'd only wanted to save his family from being killed. L had told the judge who wanted to sentence him to death why he'd been doing it (there hadn't been any proof that he was doing it out of protection for his family), and the man had been released. L had told him to go in therapy (at L's costs), and live his life like it all never happened. He just couldn't stand good people being wasted. A year later he'd seen the man again, and he'd been doing well, and tried as best as he could to save others (he was a police agent), even better than before. That were things that made L feel warm inside. He didn't have a particularly positive view on people in general, and it was always some sort of…relief to see people with a good heart and he naturally couldn't stand those being wasted.

As such, he hoped he could save Light from whatever Kira was, but he shouldn't conclude now that it was possible to do so.

Light was done cleaning himself and took the electric toothbrush back to the porcelain shelf it should be on. He took a big and soft-looking bath towel and started drying himself. It was always fun to dry Mello; he was ticklish and soft. He wasn't sexually attractive to L, of course, but L still liked touching others. People smelled nice after they showered, bath towels were soft and drying someone else had something intimate L missed often. He remembered his aunt drying him when he was four years old. She'd complimented him for being so soft too. He still was, but very few people knew that…

L wished he could dry Light. Smell him and the coconut shampoo. He'd most likely never get the opportunity to do that, but L couldn't but want to. His hair and skin looked very soft, probably because of the conditioner and the shower gel, but L wanted to…

Sigh. Yagami Light.

He smeared body lotion (same brand as the shower gel) all over his body with that same precious care. L watched it, wondering if Kira was killing right now. Could he kill with his thoughts…? If so, was Light Kira, or was he possessed or something…?

Light went back to his room after making sure to leave the bathroom in a proper state, and took a boxer. A black one. It looked good on him.

L shook his head. No unnecessary thoughts now. Focus on Kira.

There wasn't too much to focus on, actually, when Light had brushed his hair and crept under the sheets. There were a few infrared cameras showing Light's content face. He slept like an angel…He didn't toss around so much it was disturbing, and he breathed calmly. L wished he could sleep like that.

He felt the familiar tie in his stomach again. What was it…? It had to do with Light, he was sure. There was no other explanation. When seeing his picture, smelling his natural perfume or watching him, L felt like this. He liked Yagami Light. He really didn't want him to be Kira. It would be perfect if he was possessed by Kira or something, and if Kira could be ripped apart from him. Kira. L hated him more and more every time he liked Light more. They had to be separated…

He stared at the sleeping angel (or devil…?) at his screens and told himself he had to treat him as Kira. Light or not, this person was Kira and Kira needed to be caught. Yeah, that's what should happen now. L had to focus on Kira.

He decided it wouldn't change anything and took the papers lying next to him.

Pages of Light's diary.

He looked through them and smirked. They were…interesting.

_*******_

"Mister Yagami?"

Soichiro turned around hastily.

"What?! Did you notice something, Ryuzaki?! Is my family innocent?!"

L tilted his head to the side.

"Indeed I noticed something. About your son, Light."

Soichiro walked closer…Was Light…?

"What is it?! I have to know, tell me!!"

L tilted his head to the other side and bit his thumb.

"Remember the diary we found in his drawer? There were copies made of some random pages because there was no time to fully copy it, and because it would be suspicious to steal it. I'd decide what to do with it later, but I don't think it contained much interesting information, depending on your perspective on Yagami Light, but…"

Soichiro almost danced, panicking. "What is it you noticed, Ryuzaki?!"

L bit his thumb. "Yagami Light…"

Soichiro leaned forward a little, craving to hear that his only son wasn't Kira. "What's with my son…?"

L traced a fly strolling over the ceiling. "…Is probably gay."

Soichiro blinked. "What?"

L didn't move. "Yagami Light is probably gay."

A few seconds of silence ticked by.

After Soichiro had repeated L's words in his head three times, it finally made sense to him.

"W-wait…Are you saying my son is gay?! On what do you base that?!"

L turned his head to Kira's father. "Would it matter to you, mister Yagami?"

Soichiro blushed, confused and at the same time furious.

"If my son is gay?! Of course it would matter, this is something going to affect him, something that will pressure him on either coming out of the closet or hiding it, having to deal with other's opinions either way!! What are you insinuating, that I am a homophobe?!"

L didn't look away from the screens, where Light was eating crisps with Sayu, to take a small break. He laughed, he looked 'innocent' (yeah, right) and happy. Not 'affected'…

"In the diary, I found merely information referring to the Kira-case, theories and information. I also found paragraphs referring to girls, but they sounded…bored. Unaffected. A normal guy would, if he wrote a diary, focus on different things. Not on the color scarf she was wearing, where she bought it, and how expensive it was. Your son is either very focused on his own looks, or probably narcissistic, or he is gay. Another indication could be the fact that he didn't really look aroused by those porn magazines he bought. He could've used them as a cover-up for either being Kira, or being gay or narcissistic. Everything, probably."

Soichiro blinked. "Those aren't reliable arguments!! Why can't my son be straight, and he doesn't have to freak out every time he sees a woman like that, right?!"

L turned to Soichiro. "Believe me; I have seen more people reading things like that…"

Soichiro shuddered at the sudden dark look in L's eyes.

"Did he ever really talk about being in love with a woman, if he's as open as you say, mister Yagami?"

Soichiro thought.

And realized Light had never done so.

Light…?

"Maybe he's just ashamed of it!!"

L looked bored. "If he were ashamed of it, he wouldn't buy magazines like that. He wouldn't go out with girls and definitely not write anything about girls at all. Right?"

Soichiro took a step back at L's confident tone.

"He has dates every now and then…He tells about the girls, he just never met his type!! He's picky, that's it!!"

L turned back to the screens, and stared at Light. Gay, definitely. He just didn't know it. Not yet, maybe…?

A hopeful smile tugged at L's narrow but full lips. But he disposed of it as soon as he got aware of it, and tried to forget it…

It didn't work.

"He's gay. My intuition tells me."

Soichiro decided it was no use arguing. "You are too stubborn by times, Ryuzaki."

L sat up a little straighter. "That's because I know I'm right. Thank you for acknowledging me furtherer information about your son.

Soichiro sighed. Things were getting weird.

His poor son wouldn't be gay, would he…?

_*******_


	8. Test

_A/N: THEY GONNA MEET!!:D:D__ I realized something very stupid: the word 'nonsense' could be read as non-senseXD Impressive, isn't it?:D_

…_I know, I didn't have anything to doXP _

_Happy birthday, Light!!__ Yuy, this is the third story I update for your birthdayXD_

_Warning: LABB-spoilers._

_**8. **__**Test**_

_Cameras__. _

Cameras?!

Cameras!!

Two days after he killed Naomi Misora, _cameras_ were placed inside of his house, and his room. Cameras!! Light hated them. He felt watched in his own room!! Normally he only felt watched outside of his own room, when there were other people present to admire him and fight for his attention. But now, there were only little bugs, keeping Light from using his Death Note freely, though he already tricked L yesterday with his potato chip bag. Damn!! Damn L!! It had to be L; it was just so like him…

Another problem: Light hadn't done himself in a week, again. And he really needed to jerk a lot of stress away, but L wouldn't be L if he wouldn't put cameras in the shower too!! Damn it!! What should he do? What should he do…?

Of course, he could jerk off in bed…It was only a natural thing to do. His Dad would probably complain if that old pervert wanted to see him masturbating, even if it was under the blankets (knowing L, it wasn't impossible either that there were camera's in his bed). So, like that, he could most likely do it in the shower…? Maybe…Light wondered.

He felt something really hard grow painful in his pants and it started to irritate the hell out of him. He. Had. To. Do. Himself, NOW. He stood up, pushed all his books aside and walked to the bathroom. Here, L, you pervert. Take Yagami Light's sexuality!!

Light threw his pants down and his boxers followed, showing his erection to all the possible hidden cameras. His shirt followed, and Light was naked, apart from his socks. He lifted his leg to take the sock off it and the other one followed. Well, what to do now…?

…That was clear enough.

Light turned the shower on, HOT, stepped in and grabbed a bottle of shower gel, poured some on his hand and started washing his abdomen. Watch this, L. Light wondered what L was thinking right now. 'This is normal for a seventeen-year-old', probably. In English, of course. L would think in English.

These. Thoughts. Were. Useless.

Light balled all his irritation and hate for L and his stupid cameras in his mind and squeezed himself hard to release it, and the hotness in his groin spread itself through his lower body._ 'Damn L, damn you, I'm gonna kill you, and take this__!!'_ He stepped back and rested with his back against the wall, the hot, steaming water hitting his face and tracing the shape of his jaw and neck. Ahh…He squeezed again and threw his hips forward, fully aware of the fact that L was probably watching him. His father had to be long gone by now, there was only L watching him, that pervert…Yeah, and he had to be aroused because of Light, maybe he was jerking off on the sight of Light doing that too…Light started pumping, gripping onto himself with both hands and groaning erotically. His sister was listening to her stupid music, he could hear it through the wall, she couldn't hear him. His mother was downstairs. A little acting wouldn't hurt any. Was it acting, anyways…? Light didn't care. He breathed in and let his chest swell, parted his lips and arched his back. He let his head rest against the wall behind him too and wondered how to make this dirtier. He slid down until he sat on the (clean) floor of the shower, spread his legs and gripped onto his balls too, and kneaded them carefully, in sync with his pumping. Of course he moaned softly, his head still touching the wall behind him. L was watching him, he was, and Light was arousing him for sure…That pervert…

L, you pervert!!

Light almost ripped his precious penis off when he came hard and groaned from the center of his core, so hard Sayu would've heard if the music booming through the wall next to Light would've been turned down only a little. But she couldn't, and her not-so-innocent older brother stroked himself one last time before collapsing completely and fully leaning into the wall behind him, his arms and legs limp.

Ahh…So great.

Light panted and stared at the ceiling, filled with soft tinkles of relaxation. This had been better than usual. Way better…All his stress had disappeared. He'd go asleep and maybe L would too, what man wouldn't get sleepy from a good hand job when watching something as hot as Light had just shown him?

Wait…What if L was a woman?! Shit, Light hadn't even thought about that!! He'd just stripped and jerked off in front of the eyes of a woman!! And now she thought Kira was some pervert who jerked off on the idea of being watched and ruling over the entire world.

…Well, there she had a very good point, but…No; Light didn't think L was a woman. Not that he had proof for it or anything, but no woman would've been smart and confident enough to dare Kira to kill her (yes, Light was raised in Japan), and Kira was also there to protect women, not to kill them.

No, L was a man, he was a pervert and he'd just jerked off on Light, whether he thought he was straight or not. Light smiled in contentment when he washed all the sweat remaining in his armpits away, and treated his skin with the silk-shower gel his mother always wondered about why it was empty so soon("do I really have that much of surface to smear it on…?"). He looked great, he was perfect and the shower gel smelled like sweet oil. Yes…

He'd sleep better than he'd done in days, weeks maybe…He was sure.

In a hotel one our driving away from Yagami Light's house, a young man was gawking at the screens with wider eyes than normal, trying ever so hard to ignore the painful tent in his boxers.

_*******_

What should he do next…?

L shifted in his chair and stared into his cup of coffee. Nothing suspicious had been discovered by watching the tapes of the Yagami's and the Kitamura's. It had been…disturbing to watch Light's little shower scene again, but L had decided to get over it. Erection or not, he had to catch Kira and his mind was stronger than some weird accident involving genitals.

…Or at least he hoped so.

What could he do? Light was still suspicious, L was certain it was him. He banned the memories about Light smearing silk shower gel on his tanned chest out of his mind. What should he do if he wanted to catch him…?

If someone random would be very suspicious of being Kira, what would he do…? He'd try to get closer, to contact that person and speak to him directly, so that he could test him…If that person were Kira, he could pressure him by telling he was L, and seduce him with the idea of working together, to let him reveal something.

…Seduce him to make him reveal something. There wasn't much L hadn't seen about Yagami Light yet…

He rubbed his own cheek. He was thinking weird things again…

The voices of the taskforce suddenly penetrated his mind. Right, the case…

"I came to a conclusion."

All the eyes in the room turned to him.

"I have to disappoint you, but due to the lack of leads to Kira we'll have to continue investigating those I still suspect."

He saw Soichiro look worried again, and he turned to him.

"I'm very sorry, mister Yagami, but I have to let you know that I still suspect your son. Nothing proves he is Kira, but nothing proves he isn't, either. I heard he will attend a university within a few months?"

The eyes of the man in front of L were probably larger than his, that very moment.

_*******_

L rolled his eyes and put his toes on the table when he sat behind a desk of Yagami Light's university (there was no way they wouldn't pass the tests, or some truck had to drive in and crush them epically). There were other…teenagers all around him, and he felt _old_. Very _old_. He'd gotten into the exam hall easily, and he knew very well he had to look not much older than them, but he still felt _old_. Like he'd die way sooner than them; that he'd seen much more in his life.

…Both were possibly true, but that wasn't where L should be thinking about right now…

There he was. Three rows in front of him. He moved graciously, his hair shone with all the glory of his hair conditioner and that was the shirt his sister had stole out of the laundry basket with some friends, the one they'd almost sniffed into their nostrils. Oh well, L couldn't blame them…If it really was Light who'd made that sweater smell so nice…

He should test it out.

"Alright!! Begin!!"

L started with the first questions. English. Aw, come on…That was too easy. He filled it in within ten minutes, as if it were a very easy Sudoku. He grew bored and checked it again. And again, up to the point where he started to doubt every answer, though he knew he was right.

He peeked up, to see if he could see Yagami Light.

There he was, if L shifted a little to the left…Light was leaning to the left more than necessary, and L had a great view over his neck and shoulders. Smooth lines and L could imagine the shirt smelling very nice. His toes twitched and they turned his attention back to the test. It had to look like it was hard, like it was for everybody…

"Hey, you, participant 162!! Could you sit normal?!"

From out of the corner of his eye, L could see something auburn-haired move, and he glanced up to meet Yagami Light's gaze. For a second, it was as if the world only existed out of the moment their eyes locked. Kira stared at him, and L stared back. It was a battle, to see who would look away first.

Finally, after eight endless seconds, Kira turned back and L saw a hand wave in front of his face.

He apologized to Raccoon Man and let his toes curl around the edge of his chair, and acted like he was finishingthe test. The man still stood next to him, and L saw a weird gaze at his finished and perfectly right test.

Kira didn't look at him for the rest of the day.

_*******_

_51. What kind of reflex is putting your books in your bag after a bell rang?_

_Conditioned_

_Unconditioned_

_None of these_

_52. What hormone is the cause of alarm, restlessness and possibly stress?_

_Testosterone_

_Adrenaline_

_TSH_

_None of these_

_53. What happens when an embryo doesn't produce FSH?_

_Nothing, the mother produces it_

_It will be repelled_

_It will not grow any fingers and toes _

_None of these_

Light sighed. This was way too easy…He learnt all this long ago. This was only to eliminate idiots who lacked basic knowledge. All the other tests were the same. He always double-checked it to make sure he didn't forget anything, but he knew it wasn't necessary.

What hormone causes restlessness?

Restless.

Light felt restless and annoyed, since the very first test.

And it wasn't hard to figure out why…

He glanced over his shoulder. There. Three rows behind him. That guy, who looked as if he hadn't eaten, slept or seen the sun for all his life. He'd been watching and examining Light since the very first test, and this moment wasn't any different. Light held the guy's gaze with his for three seconds, and turned back. What the hell was he doing?! Was he gay or something…? No, he wouldn't look at Light like that, this was almost…venomous, loathing…

Light had found himself looking over his own shoulder more often than necessary. He tried to ignore the guy as best as he could. He didn't talk to him, and he avoided his gaze if there wasn't a test going, to make sure he wouldn't take it as an invitation to come and talk to him.

It still unnerved him. He felt these black eyes burn holes in his back all the time.

The weirdest thing was that he felt a constant urge to look over his shoulder and stare back.

He glanced over his shoulder again. Night-black hair fell over those intense eyes; the guy was filling in his test, holding his pencil in that strange manner of his…Light watched it for a minute. He'd noticed it before, he sat weird. His knees pulled up, and if the moderator didn't look, he curled his toes around the edge of the table. His arms, wrists and shoulders looked skinny, and he was very pale. His fingers were long and slender. Light was sure he'd never seen anyone like that...

It was probably an idiot who was making fun of the test and the university. After these tests were over, Light would never have to see him again.

He heard the footsteps of the raccoon-like moderator and reminded himself that he had a test to finish.

As soon as he finished, he glanced over his shoulder again, to catch the gaze of the weird person behind him once more.

_*******_After the tests, the holidays started and a week later Yagami Light was bored to no end. There wasn't really anything interesting to do but killing criminals, but he shouldn't kill too much, that wasn't good for his energy level, and of course it would be suspicious if more criminals died as soon as he had a holiday. He also needed to stay healthy, both mentally and physically, and his family would start to worry if he only sat in his room all day long. He was Yagami Light, he knew a lot of people, and had a lot of friends, resulting in many trips to Aoyama.

The tests had been so easy, he wondered if there would be any mistakes in his tests. It annoyed Light. Why couldn't they make those tests a little harder…? He felt like he'd never left Kindergarten. Like he had felt for almost eighteen years now. Everything was way too easy for him.

How would that guy behind him score on the tests…? He probably wouldn't even enter the university; he wasn't likely to be smart enough. Just some idiot who was jealous at him, and tried to distract him by staring at him? Light didn't know, he wasn't that guy so he couldn't know.

He was thinking about that guy _again_. He'd been doing so more often than necessary. He unnerved Light, made him restless.

Adrenaline?

Maybe.

He wondered if that guy was foreign. He didn't look Japanese. His skin color and the shape of his eyes made him look…Russian, maybe. Light had no idea; he'd never really seen Russian people in real life so he didn't know. They guy couldn't be Asian anyway, Light thought.

What unnerved him even more, was that that guy unnerved him so much. He wasn't supposed to be affected by someone else like that. His intuition told him this guy was planning something…Yeah, that was why he was so unnerved. This idiot was planning something. On what, rape him? Light laughed. Meet Yagami Light's fists. He somehow knew he was going to throw his fists at that guy, once.

Light didn't want to think about him, but he couldn't help it. There was something about that guy that made him pop up in his head a few times a day. It most likely had something to do with the fact that strange things always interested Light. He was easily bored, and new and/or weird things had always occupied his mind. If they were there. Light wasn't made for an 'everyday-life'. He needed something exciting, daring, something you had to be extremely smart for.

Somewhere he could truly use his skills.

This would be fighting for justice, which he did. Fighting L.

There was something Light had noticed in the last few days. It was almost as if Kira and Light were different persons. Kira was just a part of Light, and Light was more than Kira, but it felt like that, nonetheless. He'd realized when he'd stared at himself in the mirror a few days ago, looking into his own eyes and realizing he hadn't seen them for a longer time. Strange, he looked into the mirror every day. Four times a day, at the very least.

The moment he looked in the mirror, was a moment where his mind hadn't been totally occupied by Kira or L. He'd been thinking about everyday things he used to ponder over for hours. Sayu, the university, his friends, his Dad. Maybe he should go to the barber; his hair was growing too long again. However, if he put it like this…

Light had been fiddling with his hair when he looked himself straight in the eyes by accidence, and realized it. Light and Kira weren't one. They shared the same ideals, Justice, but Kira was occupied by that and Light was…just Light with his love for his family and his own haircut. Sometimes it was Kira ruling his mind, sometimes it was just Light. And he realized Kira had been overruling for longer, now. Light had been supporting him, fed him, actually_ been_ him, but it had been Kira killing all those people, and thinking so cruel sometimes.

Light never killed Raye Penbar and Naomi Misora…Kira had…

He stepped out of the shower. The shower made everything a little easier if it was hard, and it helped him to think clear and relax. He walked to the mirror and stared at himself. It was Light, looking at him right now. He looked a little scared. Certain that he'd finally found a way to bring Justice in the world, but realizing that it wasn't right to kill other people. What if he were a criminal, not knowing how to live, and ending up killing someone else…? It wasn't right to do, definitely, but…They were human too…

Light realized he was getting weak. Murder was morally wrong, but God killed too, right? He was righteous; he didn't kill if it wasn't explicitly necessary. And the people he killed were low, they hurt others who had the right to live in peace…No, Light was right, no matter what his conscience told him…He was still Light, but Light could be an egg by times, he knew that very well.

He stared at himself again. It was Light, but Light agreed with Kira. He could bring Justice, and save those who needed to be saved. The crime rate had dropped by seventy percent since the day Kira appeared first. People were happier…

What if they weren't…? What if Kira wasn't righteous, but simply conceited?

Light's head started to hurt. This wasn't the right way to think. He started this, and he'd finish this too. Kira…would rule.

Light flipped his wet hair out of his eyes. He needed to go to the barbershop.

_*******_

Drip. Drip.

The pipe in the corner of the ceiling was dripping again.

Drip. Drip.

It was a cold sound, aching a little every time a drop fell into the small pool that formed on the cold floor.

Drip. Drip..

The end was near…

All his life had led to this, just like any other life, like he knew better than anybody else. He'd seen from so many lives when they'd end, everyone he'd ever seen, everybody that mattered to him, everybody who didn't. From every life, he knew when it would end.

And he felt his own end was near.

Beyond stared at the wall facing him. The wall that had been facing him ever since Misora had put him into prison. He knew she was dead, way earlier than she should've died. Kira's work. He would've liked to see how Kira killed. L would probably see it, he'd eventually find out. Beyond wouldn't.

Had Kira surpassed him? Was Kira surpassing L? Beyond loathed both of them. May L dispose of Kira and may Kira kill L. May both suffer from their loss, like Beyond had to.

Did he respect Kira or L? Of course he respected them. They surpassed him, they surpassed Beyond, a super genius, the one who would've surpassed L if Misora hadn't wasted everything.

Beyond respected them. But he also loathed them and wanted them to suffer from loss. Like he had.

The end was near. He couldn't see it, but he felt it. Beyond Birthday's end was near.

He stared at the wall facing him.

Drip. Drip.

The pipe in the corner of the ceiling needed to be fixed.

_*******_

"Ryuzaki…Beyond Birthday died from a heart attack."

Watari looked if L would react on that news, but he didn't. He stared at the black screen in front of him, not touching his cake or his coffee.

"Are you asleep…?"

L still didn't move. "No. I'm not."

Watari was surprised when he heard L's voice. It was stern, but shaky at the same time. Was he…?

It was quiet for a while. Watari didn't know what to do…L didn't need new coffee or cake, but he didn't seem occupied by Kira either. Was he mourning over Beyond…?

"Ryuzaki, you realize Beyond suffered from insanity, and that he tried to burn himself in order to humiliate you?"

L's voice still sounded a bit shaky, but he tried to hide it.

"I realize all that, but I don't have any reason to be happy that he died. He was killed by Kira…He shouldn't be mixed up in all this. This wasn't righteous…"

Watari was surprised every time L showed affection to his successors. They were (except from Matt, maybe) all jealous and egocentric in their own way, and L loved all of them with his whole heart.

"Rest in peace, Beyond."

Watari didn't know if that really was what L was saying, but when L lowered his head lightly, he thought it couldn't have been anything else.

_*******_

"Happy birthday!!"

Light opened his eyes. Sunlight…How late was it? It was morning…

Sayu, Sachiko and Soichiro sat on his bed with presents in their hands. Neatly wrapped presents with ribbons tied around them. Light blinked. It was his birthday.

He was eighteen…He felt a smile form on his face. Outside Japan, he was officially an adult. He'd be allowed to live on his own, drive a car and buy whisky. To carry a gun, to watch as much porn as he wanted and best of all…The fancy clubs.

Light shook his head lightly, not out of surprise that his family had crept into his room somehow, but to keep himself from slapping his own forehead.

One: He was still in Japan.

Two: He didn't care about all that stuff. He was content with walking and taking the bus, he wasn't planning to live on his own because…Well, officially he wasn't an adult and he had no idea with who he wanted to live together, he didn't like alcohol because of all the negative effects on your brain (and because of something an uncle had told him once, but he didn't want to think about that), he was secretly scared of guns, he truly wasn't interested in porn and the fancy clubs were the last place on earth you'd find Light, even if you included the moon.

Sayu crept to Light on his bed and pecked him on his cheek, and Light realized he was practically naked underneath the sheets, apart from a pair of tight boxers not leaving much to the imagination. His sister giggled and 'accidentally' peeked under the sheets to see if it would reveal more Light. Light pushed her away with a soft smile (he couldn't hate his little sister for being a little pervert, never) and made sure the sheets covered his lower body when he sat up.

"Here, son. This is for when you go to the university."

Light unwrapped the heavy and expensively packed present his father handed him. It was a watch…A very expensive-looking one. Light smiled brightly. It was beautiful.

"Wow…Thank you, Dad."

Soichiro smiled. Light realized something.

"Wait…Did you quit working today just for me…?"

Another fatherly smile. "Yes. You are my son, and I need more sleep, after all."

Light laughed. In the back of his head, Kira mumbled this was nonsense, but Light enjoyed the love his family gave him, willing to give it back a hundred times. His family, they were his main reason for wanting to create a better world. For them, and for other people like them. Kira couldn't change that, never.

He felt happy. He'd made a scheme for today's murders anyway; he didn't have to think about that. He didn't have to think about Kira and not about L either. He'd promised Ryuk five apples if he'd stay in his room all day long, so he wouldn't distract him either. He'd do it all in order to be Light, just for his own eighteenth birthday.

He succeeded in making it a better day than he'd had the last few months.

_*******_

_A/N: R.I.P. Beyond Birthday._


	9. Denial

_A/N: __Fast update for you guys:P I personally love the title of this chapX3_

_**9. **__**Denial**_

His son. His son was now eighteen years old.

Soichiro couldn't but think about the porn magazines he'd seen his son reading, but ignored it. No matter if he read it, and no matter if L accused him of being Kira and being gay, Soichiro thought he wasn't and if he were gay, Soichiro would still love him as much as he did now.

Now that he thought about it, it would explain Light's weird love for shojo magazines and Mr. Universe. He had no clue his father knew it, but he did…

Soichiro would absolutely love his son as much as he did now if he were gay, but what worried him was how the other people would react if they knew Light loved men…Light always looked so confident, but that was because he knew he was a good student and a good person. How would he deal with something about him that wasn't within the regular standards…? Soichiro would support him, of course, he was just worried about his son, because he cared for him. He felt lightly angry at L for bringing up the topic. He could've let Light tell it himself. Of course, Soichiro would be surprised, but he'd be sure Light was actually gay and didn't have to doubt his son's sexuality. He could tell Light he still cared for him and loved him, and that he'd always support him, no matter what gender his love would be.

Soichiro wondered what type of boyfriend Light would choose. Probably someone like him, smart, good looks, neat and social.

Wait, this wasn't even confirmed yet.

L…

Soichiro decided to tell L that this was none of his business, that this had definitely nothing to do with the whole Kira-case. That he had the right to invade his family's privacy for the sake of the Kira-case, to see that they were innocent, but this was out of the question.

He knocked on the door to have it opened by L himself. "Ah, Yagami-san. I already noticed you were back."

He pointed at the screens, and Soichiro saw the elevator, some stairs and other parts of the hotel.

"Don't worry. It will not be recorded."

L turned around and Soichiro stepped in, taking a deep breath.

"Ryuzaki, I think it was highly inappropriate to-"

"I'm sorry, mister Yagami. I should've let Light-kun tell himself. I feel sorry for both of you."

Soichiro blinked. The words he'd expected he wouldn't get out of L unless one of them would die slow enough to have a chat...

He didn't know what to say.

L turned around, a lightly pitiful expression on his face. "I shouldn't have messed with his private life. I feel like an intruder."

Soichiro blinked again. What…?

"I-it's okay, Ryuzaki. Maybe this makes it easier for me to react calmly if he ever wants to come out of the closet."

He expected L to mutter something like 'I'm glad' and start about the Kira-case, but the young man's face lit up childishly.

"So you realized it too? I'm glad you finally agree with me, Yagami-san."

He turned around again, walking _straight_, and suddenly Soichiro felt the need to kick L's jeans-clad ass. Hard.

L smirked. The openings ceremony of the university would be there soon. He'd see how gay Light really was…

_*******_

Chatting. The sounds of a tram driving at full-speed.

Light stared at his hands, still wearing his suit. No one really looked at him, and he decided it to be better like that.

Damn idiot. Approaching Light like that.

Light closed his eyes in annoyance, trying to block_ that_ memory out of his mind.

"_I am L."_

His heart pounded. His hands were still thrilling a little. How dared he…?!

He went out of the tram and walked home, as calm as possible. He ignored Sayu and went straight to his room, Ryuk following him. He sat down behind his desk and finally allowed his annoyance to take over.

"Damnit!! He got me!!"

He gripped his head and threw his elbows on his desk. Ryuk seemed startled when Light started yelling at him too, but Light was angry. Worse than when he'd seen the calligraphic L appear on his television screen, not when L had kept him from doing what he wanted in the shower, at first. He was mad, this time. That L. How fucking dared he.

He made Light so… He practicallty itched with desire to _kill _him. To find out his name and kill him painfully and humiliating. To hurt him badly, preferably with his own hands. He wanted to close his fingers around that white throat, pressing hard where he felt a pulse and see the despair in his eyes, and eventually watch the life disappear out of them. Light clenched his fists and imagined he was breaking those thin wrists and hit him in his face, everything to make him feel _pain_. He had to feel the same humiliation Light felt right now.

Light growled. He really felt downright humiliated. He wanted to pay him back with everything he had for making Light feel like this. His heart still pounded and his hands were sweaty, and there were nerves in his stomach irritating him over the edge. That bitch, affecting Kira like that!!

…Affecting.

Affecting…

Who'd be affecting who?

That was it…

Light started grinning. That was how he should do it. He'd become friends with Ryuga, with L, and in the end, he'd kill him…

Light started laughing maniacally. No, that wasn't right. Kira was laughing maniacally. A harsh sound filling the room Light didn't recognize coming from his own throat.

"Hehehe…That's perfect."

Kira leaned back. He was right. He was a genius, he was Justice.

"Interesting, Ryuga. I'll become your best friend. And in the end, I'll stab you in your back when you least expect it."

Light stood up and pulled his tie straight. No need to feel 'affected'. Ryuga would die in the end anyway.

_*******_

It wasn't good to feel affected. Yagami Light would die in the and anyway.

L sighed. The ever-present tie in his stomach had gotten worse. He'd seen him, and talked to him. Kira. The Kira he wanted to catch, the Kira he wanted to give a face…He'd seen Kira. Light…but it wasn't the person Soichiro had told about, and it definitely wasn't the person L had seen on that picture, the boy who'd looked at him with those intelligent eyes. Not the person he'd wanted to meet, behind Kira. Or was it the person he'd wanted to see in front of Kira? He hadn't seen the intelligent person holding Kira in his heart anyway.

The person he'd seen today was just conceited.

He was disappointed. He knew he shouldn't feel like that, he'd met Kira and he was absolutely sure now. He'd looked him straight in the eyes, and he'd seen that sour look on his face all the time after L had revealed his identity. There was no doubt anymore. Absolutely not. Yagami Light was Kira.

So why was he disappointed?

Simple. He'd wanted to meet Light. If there was a chance Light wasn't Kira, L could've asked to help him catching Kira, and L would've had the chance to get to know him better. L didn't deny that anymore. He wanted to get to know Light. He was curious, but in a strange, strong way he'd never felt before. A strong desire to get closer to that guy.

But he hadn't really met Light. The person he'd met and looked straight into the eyes was Kira. With Kira, Light would disappear too, if the time was there.

Although…there was a very small chance it wouldn't be necessary...Maybe if Kira was some power that possessed the one carrying out the murderers…If he could get it out of Light, L would have the chance to get to know him. That was why L wanted to know everything about Kira's power, how he killed, and what went around in that pretty head of his (Light's head Kira just borrowed, that bitch)… Maybe there was a way to judge Kira without judging Light, because they weren't one…

He took a bite of his apple cake and listened to the sounds of the Task Force, including Soichiro Yagami, arguing about Kira. If only they could see what L saw when he looked at Light…It was a bit painful. L truly didn't want Kira to waste Light.

Would it be rational to believe that L felt something for the boy? First that annoying erection when watching him shower, and now he started to believe that Kira was another person than Light. It was a weird reaction. Everybody he'd ever caught had been the one who committed the crime. This was different from L's usual way of thinking…

But, this whole Kira-case was different. He was fighting something supernatural (what else could it be?), and of course, it was possible that Light was possessed by something –someone?-, and if he was, L had to save him from that, right?

He sighed. It was weird. He felt attraction towards the boy. He showed up in L's head every time L wasn't heavily distracted by other things. His face, his body, and the person L thought he was…He was attractive to L. And L wanted to know why. Never had he felt like this, and sure he'd watched others like him. Beautiful, smart people. Why did it have to feel different this time? Was it a trick his mind was playing on him due to the stress? But…He wanted to save him for his own goodwill, for Yagami Light's sake. Not for L himself to feel satisfied, or for Justice. Purely for Light. The only right conclusion would be that L cared for him.

Affection…caring…

L had two things he'd sworn years ago, at the age of thirteen, when he started his real 'career' as L. One thing for the sake of his 'job' as a detective and one for him, and only himself, something no one really had to know. The first thing was tonever become emotionally involved in a case, no matter the reason. It's too dangerous. If it happens, just ignore it, it goes away after the case ended.

It had helped him this far, he wasn't the cold person he looked like at first sight, and he thought with both head and heart (you can't solve most of the cases if you can't understand a murder's motives). If that heart happened to start rumbling, he needed to be able to control it. During cases, he always tried to stay as objective and emotionless as he could. _After_ those cases, he could be as sentimental as he wanted and hate the world as much as he could. DURING a case, he had to stay objective, and don't get involved personally.

L reasoned that 'feeling affection for the prime suspect of the probably most important case of his life' was personal involvement.

The second thing, how contrary, was to always be honest to himself. He could lie to Watari, he could lie to the police, murderers, the world, Kira, the president of the US, everyone he wanted; but not to himself. Whatever he felt, thought, experienced, whatever; he had to admit it to himself. To think it out loud. It was necessary to stay healthy. Sooner or later, repressed feelings would pop up anyway and make his life hard, he'd experienced before, and cases were way harder to solve if you had to deal with emotions you'd ignored earlier. Emotions could be handy sometimes; they could be the ultimate drive to solve a case. Whatever the reason, important feelings shouldn't be repressed, but analyzed and accepted before he could deal with them.

L reasoned that 'feeling affection for the prime suspect of the probably most important case of his life' was an emotion, and should be accepted before anything else would happen to it.

The hard thing about the two oaths was how horribly contrary they were. It was a constant battle: Repressing a feeling and know it would come back sooner or later, or accept it and keep it with you for as long as the case continues. The usual tactic was to first admit it and find a way to reason it away, but sometimes feelings were too strong, and something in the back of L's head told him that this was a feeling that was too strong to reason away.

So, what should he do?

Simple…Try to stay as objective as he could, imagine the whole case from a different angle. Kira wasn't Light; he was an old man with child porn under his pillow.

It worked. L hated Kira again.

But…What to do with Light…?

L stared at his coffee, and stirred it lazily. After he left the coffee for a minute, he saw his own face reflected in it, a blurred face looking at him questioningly.

_*******_

Light had a dream.

A dream he'd never had before. Sure he'd had weird dreams before, standing on top of the world or riding himself, but…this was weird too, sure.

He lay on his back, looking around. There was only dark. He was covered by only a thin layer of cotton draped over him, and he was lying on a mattress covered in the same clean-smelling cotton. Pleasant. He had no idea what it could mean, he had more dreams where he was almost naked…It appeared that you hid a lot of things for those around you if you walked around naked in your dreams. Kira, sure… Light always had those dreams, and he knew he indeed hid a lot of himself for the world.

Only a few weeks ago he'd dreamt he were naked, but also ugly, and people were laughing at him. That wasn't too hard to explain either: There was something bad and ugly inside of Light he was afraid to show to those who knew him.

But…

…Did that have something to do with Kira…?

Kira forbid Light to consider it.

Suddenly, a voice appeared from out of nowhere. Light blinked. It called his name…In a seductive manner. Almost a whisper or a purr…

Light knew that voice…

"Ryuga, what are you doing?"

Someone appeared next to him, creeping to him on hands and knees. It was Ryuga, cotton tightly around his waist, leaving his shoulders naked. Light breathed in.

"I was searching for you, of course, Yagami-kun…I found you."

What…? Finding Light? Was this a dream anyway?! He looked around for a sign that could tell him whether this dream was reality or not. But sadly, his dreams were very realistic and he couldn't find anything telling him if this was real…

Oh, wait, there was. There was no way he'd lie down somewhere with only cotton covering him, while Ryuga could be around.

Would he…?

Light's heart started pounding twice as fast when he saw Ryuga coming closer and straddling him. One leg wasn't clad in the cotton anymore. White and long, and Light saw a hard hipbone point through the thin cotton. He couldn't but stare at it. His throat felt narrow…

The pace of his breathing and heartbeat both increased again when Ryuga bended forward to lift the cotton covering Light's chest, and slid a hand over it.

"You are pretty…"

Light made a small sound when those long, slender fingers touched a nipple and started playing with it. He arched into the touches, the weight and the sight of that body…He closed his eyes and laid his head back, and the pale guy on top of him touched his jaw with those long, spidery fingers. Light's skin tingled everywhere the soft fingertips roamed, the sensitive spot behind his ear, his throat and his collarbone, until Ryuga laid both his hands flat on Light's chest, and Light opened his eyes.

Ryuga was bending forward slowly, down to Light's face, about to close the distance between his and Light's parted lips. Light gasped and glanced at the cotton that fell off Ryuga's waist and showed white and delicate skin. He smelled something sweet he'd smelled before…

He thought he felt the other's breath on his lips, and wanted to lift his head to kiss, but when he wanted to stretch his arms out to touch Ryuga, he was gone.

Light blinked.

He was trying to kiss air.

"Hyuk, hyuk…What do you human dream about all night…?"

Light's eyes widened. Dream? WHAT did he just dream?! A sex dream?!

Well…Not exactly a sex dream, but it had been erotic. Erotic dreams, fine. Light had slept with George Clooney once. And Johnny Depp, more often...But they didn't count, Light only did that because he found them nice men.

…In the sense that they were almost as good as him, not that Light was gay. Light was straight, he just never met the right girl.

…

What else could it be?! He wasn't gay, he only checked other guys to make himself feel pretty!! Light flushed when he thought back about the dream he just had. Another _male_, sitting on _top_ of him. Could it get any worse?! Oh, yeah, the male happened to be RYUGA!! _Ryuga!!_ That weirdo who'd been watching him all the time during the center exams!! He said he was L, but Light had decided he wasn't. L may be a jerk for going against Kira, but Light had looked up to him all his life, and it was impossible that he'd admired someone barely older than him. That would be like…being totally crazed about some random male classmate!! And who knew how old he was, maybe he was younger. Light had no idea. And frankly, he didn't even want to know.

But, an _erotic_ dream about Ryuga, that guy, from every person on earth, he dreamed about _Ryuga_. Light was going to kill him, destroy him, why did he have to appear in Light's dream like that?!

Ryuk pointed at Light's sheets.

"What is that? Hyuk, hyuk…"

Light's eyes widened even further when he noticed a big tent in his sheets where…Oh, my.

"I wasn't dreaming!!"

Ryuk almost danced in the air when he noticed Light was flustered.

"Hyuk…You were panting…And at the end you were trying to eat air…Hyuk, hyuk…"

Light felt his own face turning a bright red, though he knew Ryuk couldn't see it.

"I wasn't!!"

Light realized how hard his voice was and tried to lower it. The last thing he needed now was his mother thinking he was crazy.

"I wasn't kissing the air and I wasn't panting either!!"

Ryuk chuckled again. "Whatever you want…Heh heh, humans…"

Light laid back, turned to his stomach to hide his hardness for Ryuk, and buried his face in his pillow. He didn't just dream that. Why would he dream that?! He tried to think of a proper reason why he'd do that.

…!

Simple. Because of the same reason why he dreamt of Johnny and George.

He looked up to L all his life.

And now he had gotten a face, though it was fake and eye-bagged, that represented L. Of course that was…No, not arousing, not at all, NOT, but…Light happened to translate perfectly normal and purely platonic admiration for others in sexual dreams.

Simple. As. THAT!!

Really!!

Though it wasn't even L's face!! L probably had a moustache; he had to resemble his Dad a lot…Maybe? This idiot could be chosen by L, and L would've made sure 'Ryuga' passed the tests without any mistake at all. That also explained the time Ryuga had to stare at Light. He had seen him filling in things, mostly the first ten minutes every time, but…it wouldn't matter what he filled in, L would take care of it…

Light smiled. As soon as L was dead, this dream would be a simple victory memory too. Maybe he'd get to see L's real face, and dream he'd be the one topping _him_, though it would be disgusting to dream about some old man resembling his Dad like that. After that, he'd just go back to Johnny and other random guys.

And once, he'd find a girl who showed that he was perfectly straight, but just picky, because he was way too perfect himself.

THAT!! WAS!! IT!!

Light gripped onto his pillow as he saw flickers of the dream he just had, and felt his erection grow harder again, stimulated by the pressure of the mattress. He couldn't control it, he was hard, and Ryuga was sitting on top of him again. Light felt the weight of his slender form press into his tummy, and he stared at the revealed leg once again. Ryuga looked so dark, a small smile around his lips and his eyes narrowed. Light's heart beat faster when he thought about it. So…dangerous…

He decided to just give in for a second and enjoy the hot feeling in his groin. It was only his body; it wasn't like he wanted to fuck that guy. He tried not to pant, but let out a silent sigh at the memory of Ryuga/L's fingers. He imagined what his lips would feel like. Light tried to remember Ryuga's face. What did his lips look like, again…? Slightly narrow and pale, almost the same color as his skin. A bit more pink. They were also full. Narrow, but soft. Nice lips to kiss.

Light disappeared into the fantasies for a few seconds. L or not, this guy had nice-looking lips. If only in Light's memories.

_*******_

"Yagami-san."

Light tried not to blush hard when he saw Ryuga walk at him. The university had started today, and he'd already anticipated he'd see Ryuga, but the dream of last night still haunted him. _Why, just why had he dreamt like that?_ It was so embarrassing…His mind was brilliant, but could be quite disturbing by times (and it was PURE coincidence that those 'disturbing' thoughts were all about men, really!!).

"Hello, Ryuga. Ready to start studying?"

Light sent a fake smile in Ryuga's direction, with an air of arrogance Ryuga wouldn't even pick up anyway. No one ever did. Ryuga's face was blank; he skimmed Light's face with his eyes. Different than others did. He wasn't looking at Light's outsides, but…at Kira. Light subconsciously shuddered.

"I believe so. Does Yagami-kun happen to know where our first class will be? Naturally, I'll follow the same classes."

Light didn't know if that was a wink to the Kira-case or to their 'equal brilliance' (which didn't exist in this guy). He nodded, announced they'd have Psychology together, and they walked together to the lecture. Light didn't miss the stares sent their way. He saw a girl from his old school and talked to her a little, and Ryuga only watched them, or stared up into the air, seemingly occupied by his own thoughts. His head was turned away from the girl, and it looked…awkward. Was he shy, or simply uninterested? Light betted on the last. L wouldn't have chosen this guy as his face if he'd been shy, it would've been useless to try to figure out more about a suspect with someone shy working for you… Light tried to ignore him and concentrated on the girl, who only stared at his face. He suddenly wondered if Ryuga wasn't way too right by ignoring this girl. To-oh or not, she still was brainless. There was a difference between being smart and intelligent, though no one seemed to agree with that.

After a few minutes, he announced he should go to class, and the girl walked into the same direction as Light. Soon he felt like he missed someone.

"Ryuga? Class is about to start."

The weird male who was now staring at the sky straight above him looked up (or down, depending on your perspective) at Light and blinked.

"Ah, you must be right. Come, Yagami-kun, we're late, there's no time for standing and staring at the beautifully blue sky."

Light pulled an eyebrow up into the air Ryuga had been staring into minutes ago, and the girl (what was her name, anyway..?) giggled. "He's funny…"

She would be cracking if she found out about his dream from last night.

The stares of most girls turned vengeful when they noticed The Girl walk next to Light (he suddenly remembered her name: Hakumi) and Ryuga got a lot of weird looks too. A lot of jealous ones, Light noticed. Of course, who wouldn't be, someone who had such an expensive car with his own driver, and the highest score on the center exam and the guts to show up in baggy jeans at an entrance ceremony? Light wasn't, a few years after this university he'd be able to buy a limousine too, and he was hotter, more social, smarter (the tests were fake…), he ruled the world and Ryuga was either a virgin, or he only did some ugly girl who rejected him too, later. Maybe he was gay…?

Light smirked. If the one working for L fell for him, it would be so easy to catch L. Except from when L had sent this guy_ because_ he knew he would, to trap Light…Hide some cameras and sound monitors, watch Light seduce the guy to tell him about L, let the guy give the wrong information (Light doubted if this guy had seen more from L than he had), let him 'use it' and ta-dah, Light was trapped. What a dick.

Kira's voice screamed that he had to focus on killing this guy, not on if he were a virgin or not, but Light ignored him. He was around someone who somehow had a connection with L, he had to act like Light would. Not like Kira.

They entered the lecture, Light next to Ryuga and the girl 'accidentally' touching Light's arm every three seconds. Light ignored both of them. The teacher started blabbing, about how honored he was to welcome another class at the university, and said he expected much from this class, especially from Light Yagami and Hideki Ryuga. Light stood up and bowed, Ryuga put his left thumb up. His right thumb was resting on his lower lip. Light forced himself not to blush when he thought about how soft they'd been in his dream…

He sat down and peeked to the side. Ryuga's lips did look soft. Why had Light noticed that, he hadn't looked at Ryuga's lips for a second before (his eyes were more occupying), why did he dream about them so realistically? Kira said it was because he wanted to see them part in surprise, that moment when he felt a pang in his heart… Light, again, ignored both Kira and his own thoughts. He was at the top university of Japan, he should pay attention. Maybe this would turn out to be stimulating… Light didn't hope so. L and Kira were hard enough to deal with, and this Ryuga-person made it even worse.

He listened to the man, interested in what he was saying but soon irritated by the slow tempo he spoke in, made some notes sometimes, just for the picture (he already knew all this). He was about to look at his side, to Ryuga, when Hakumi asked him to help her. He moved just a little too close, to see her face go red, and hear a few girls behind him gasp. Ryuga would somehow try to connect this to Kira, but Light didn't really care. He helped Hakumi with whatever she didn't understand, and sat up straight again. He looked to his side again, to see Ryuga's dark eyes bore into him and Hakumi. There was no expression in his face, focus, maybe, and Kira laughed again. What an idiot…

He waited until class was over and walked outside, purposively next to Ryuga and followed by Hakumi. The girl asked him if he wanted to drink something in a nearby café, but Light thanked her. She droop off, hurt, and Light turned back to Ryuga, who was following the girl with his eyes.

"You seem to be pretty popular with girls, Yagami-kun…"

Light couldn't read what was behind it; jealousy, annoyance, suspicion or mock…? Not in his voice, not in his eyes. Ryuga was…inscrutable. Was that why L had hired him…?

"Yeah."

Light couldn't but turn his gaze to Ryuga again when he felt his eyes skim his face, and tried not to blink when he felt how intense Ryuga's eyes were. He wondered if his face was reddening. Ryuga smirked.

"I heard you are good at tennis."

_*******_

_A/N: __Let the romance begin!!:D Finally^^_


	10. Caramel

_A/N: It's been too long, sorryXP_

_Damn…I hate apologizingX3_

_**10. **__**Caramel**_

'_Idiot! Look what you've become! You were supposed to kill him. You should dispose of him! Don't let yourself be affected by a dream, you want- no, you need this new world as badly as I need it! You'll rule, I'll rule over the world! Like a God, have you forgotten? No? Well, then, concentrate! You're going to kill that Ryuga-guy, and he'll die, together with L!'_

Light sighed. Kira had been screaming at him since he'd seen Ryuga today. About the world they'd rule together, about the way they'd rule (mercilessly), and why L had to die. Thousands of reasons were screamed into Light's mind today, and it annoyed him to no end. It was his mind, _he_ was going to rule. But still, he couldn't but obey. He knew that voice was his, that he was Kira and that voice would lead him to the ownership of the world. That very voice screamed at him every time he'd done something wrong in his own eyes, or when he had to do something difficult. It was just a voice Light was used to, only now it was more stubborn.

He obeyed and took a pen, to get the Death Note out of his drawer. He tried not to kick against it, it was his own brilliant imagination that created this construction, but it was terribly annoying to open it by putting a fucking pen in it. It reminded him of something that made his cheeks heat.

Ryuk snorted when he saw it. "I'm gonna search for apples…I just heard your mother come back from the groceries store."

Light didn't hear it.

* * *

"You aren't."

"Yes, I am."

"You're not."

"I believe I just said I am."

Light tried not to gape at the young man he was currently walking next to. University had started, and he and Ryuga were together all the time, almost…naturally. He just was there all the time, to keep an eye on Light, he said, but Light automatically walked at him too when he saw him. It was interesting to guess what Ryuga was thinking.

'_He's lying again, he can't be twenty-five…I would've believed it if he'd said he was seventeen! But why would he lie about this…? To make it easier to believe he is L…? But he's a foreigner, I don't know much about how old foreigners look when they're twenty-five, maybe it's true… No, he's lying, I'm sure.'_

Light put a fake smile on his face. "Well, it looks like I'm the younger one here, isn't it?"

The corners of Ryuga's mouth twitched, causing Light to look at his lips again. "I guess so. I'll make sure nothing but the death sentence happens to Yagami-kun."

Light's eyes shot open. What was he saying?

"Excuse me?"

Ryuga smirked. "You are Kira, aren't you? Nothing should happen to Kira before he is sentenced to death. You know that story where a doctor and a nurse were once accused of murder? They had to sentence someone to death, when there appeared to be a bubble in the poison used to kill the delinquent. He got a heart attack because of the bubble; he hadn't died because of the injection. If a murderer dies in a different way than he should, the ones who caught him are left with the problems. Just when we wanted to dispose of such problems, isn't it..?"

Light didn't know why, and Kira laughed maniacally in the back of his head because he found it funny, but he was hurt. Dispose of him? So Ryuga wasn't only hired to investigate him, he also had to keep him alive to make sure he could be sentenced to death? That was so…mean! He knew he was Kira, but he still didn't want others to think of him like that (except from when they're pro-Kira, of course). This just…hurt him.

And yes, he knew that story.

They walked to the tennis field. Class was over, and Ryuga wanted to play tennis with him. Light wondered if that guy knew he'd been the best of Japan's scholars once. He probably sucked at it, with those thin wrists. They changed clothes (meaning: only Light, Ryuga only put on tennis shoes…How was he going to play tennis in those baggy jeans…?), and Light felt the gazes on him of the other guys who'd just sprinted around the campus and needed to shower. He wondered if Ryuga was looking at him…Should he have shaved his armpits…?

Kira maniacally laughed at him. Ryuga was going to die, the last thing he'd think would NOT be about Light's armpits, for sure. They entered the tennis field and started playing. Ryuga was good, Light couldn't deny it. He had to run hard and to slam the ball back hard enough to make sure his racket wouldn't be blown away by the balls Ryuga sent his way. He had to admit that this felt good. He hadn't fought this hard, physically, since the last tennis championship he'd joined.

It was truly interesting to see Ryuga work this hard, to see him run, almost dive in the direction Light slammed the balls to. He held his racket in a strange way, but he definitely succeeded in speeding the balls up so hard that Light actually felt every single muscle in his shoulder. It was a miracle his pants didn't fall off his narrow hips, Light saw how loose his pants were when Ryuga lifted his arms, and with that his shirt. For one moment, Light's gaze was caught by the shape of his abdomen, visible because his underwear was also too wide. A ball almost hit his face, but missed him.

Kira took over again, and made Ryuga bite the dust.

It was over too soon, and he shook Ryuga's hand, which was warm from the hard match. It was softer than expected, and Light noticed Ryuga wasn't sweating much. How did he do that, Light was drenched in sweat…? The raven's hair was more messy than usual and his chest heaved a little. They walked away from the crowd, talked about the Kira-case, and Ryuga announced he suspected Light of being Kira…If he was hired by L, either he or L (or both) had to be pretty good at thinking forward.

After a good shower in the way too filthy showers of the university (eww), Light was on his way to his favorite café with Ryuga. It was a fifteen-minute-walk, and they chatted about nothing in particular. Ryuga was more than the idiot he looked like at first sight…Had L hired him because he was good at keeping a conversation going with a suspected genius-murderer…? Because he did seem pretty good at it. Maybe he indeed was smart, he sounded like it and Light started wondering why L would send someone stupid to catch Kira. Or maybe he was L. He was seven years older than Light had estimated him, it was possible. L or not, Light liked talking to him, it felt natural. He didn't have to act smart or stupid around this guy. Of course, he had to make sure he said nothing incriminating, but Light was a genius. He could to that. Had Light not been Kira, he would've really liked this.

But he was Kira, and Ryuga was going to die. Simple as that.

Ryuga paid for their coffee and a piece of cake for himself (Light didn't want to, he didn't want to get fat, hell no), and Light let him because he had to make sure Light was fine. He'd be paid for that, and if he was L, he must have a lot of money on him…Light wasn't going to pay for coffee and cake for someone who could buy it himself.

Of course the conversation about Kira would start, and it was a mind battle Light secretly enjoyed. Ryuga was smart, and the possibility that he was L grew with the minute. Light had often wondered how it would be to talk to L, and he never really expected it would be while he was suspected from genocide, but it was, in some way, like he'd thought it would be. It was a battle of wits, two brilliant minds thinking at the same level. Light liked Ryuga while Kira laughed at L. Would it also be the other way round…? Light wondered.

The geniuses' mind games were interrupted suddenly when Ryuga's phone rang.

* * *

A heart attack? How…?

His Dad…

Light stared outside of the fast-driving limousine with a metal strap wound tightly around his heart. His mother just called, his Dad had a heart attack, they were trying to save him, but she hadn't heard anything from him… His Dad, would he…? No, Light didn't want to miss him, he loved him too much! His father! He felt tears prick behind his eyes, but he didn't allow himself to let them roll. Ryuga sat next to him and seemed anxious too, though it was more something Light felt than an expression on his still blank turned his gaze away from him and blinked violently, to force the upcoming tears away. Kira screamed it didn't matter, it was only his father, he was only weak, but Light didn't listen to him and prayed his Dad was doing fine. _'Please, let him be alright…'_

Finally they arrived at the hospital, and Light wanted to run in to see his Dad, but something stopped him. He waited for Ryuga and they walked quickly into the building, to be led to the second floor of the hospital. His heart cried in relief when he saw his father's face alive, but he sat down calmly, Ryuga crouching on the chair next to him. His mother eyed Ryuga suspiciously, but he didn't pay attention to her.

Half an hour later he stood outside again, watching as Ryuga drove away. So he indeed was L. This was the guy Light had looked up to all the time. He didn't feel anything by it. Not excited or disappointed, just…He met L, and L was a messed-up smartass who happened to be good at mind games. Not like Light had expected. He didn't really know how he'd imagined L before, but it hadn't been like this, he was sure.

He walked home with Ryuk floating behind him, and his thoughts boiled around in his head. His Dad was going to be fine, so he'd get to see the new world Light was building for people like him. He'd said Kira was doomed to be unhappy, but...Was that true? He was happy he could create a new world like this, for good people, and he was thankful for the power thrown into his hands. He didn't feel sick anymore when he killed, like he'd done in the beginning. He could eat again, he could think clear (which was necessary with L around) and he could enjoy little things, like the sakura touching his face as he walked. The new world was in his hands, and he'd soon rule over it like a God...All he had to do was to kill L.

'_But I don't want to.'_

Light momentarily stopped and blinked. What did he just think...? He didn't want to kill L...? But it was necessary for the new world. L's life would be sacrificed for a greater good, he should be thankful. Ryuk chuckled and asked Light what was wrong, and Light blinked again and shook his head.

"Nothing, Ryuk."

"Huhuhu..."

Why did he hesitate to kill L? Why did he feel wrong thinking about that? The Dream crossed Light's mind, but he pushed it away. Maybe he just felt bad about killing the person he'd looked up to all his life. He now knew the person behind all the stories, and he indeed was surprised, but he was still L. The L Light had drawn once. The childish-looking piece of art hung in the hall of his home, L was still smirking, holding the same pipe, with the same bad English Light never dared to really look at. Bags or not, this guy was still L, and now that Light had seen him, he started hesitating over if he wanted to kill him.

Kira almost died from laughter, and Light felt a light pang of humiliation when he heard it. No, he was Kira now, he was going to kill L, idol or not. L wanted to kill him, after all, it was L or Kira. Ryuga or Light. The last thing bothered Light too, for some reason.

He eventually stopped thinking about if he wanted to kill L or not (NOT), because Kira made him feel too humiliated. This was about the new world; Kira would rule…Kira would become God. Light would become God.

He sighed. Ryuga's eyes haunted him in the back of his mind.

* * *

Light-kun…

Light-kun was cute.

L smiled a little behind his cup of tea when he thought of the person he talked to today. L had been terribly worried about Soichiro too, but he'd done so well L decided he'd soon be better. Light's face during the ride to the hospital had been…vulnerable. He'd really looked worried, and L had noticed he'd blinked all the time, so that his wet eyes wouldn't betray him. It was hard to hide things like that from L, though, and he'd been so happy to see Light's vulnerable side. It attracted him. Kira hadn't completely wasted Light yet. As soon as L knew how Kira killed, would he try to find a way to kill Kira without killing Light. He wanted to see that cuteness more often.

Was it actually weird to think of someone of the same gender as 'cute'…? L decided everyone would think Light was cute, and didn't pay any more attention to it. He felt affection for Light, even more than before, after he'd seen those small tears today. Light was a bit of a crybaby…? L liked the idea. It was logical to feel affection for someone like that, someone who leveled L and he could relate to that well. Of course, he had people he could relate to, but Light was…different. The others he could relate to were more like family to him, Light came pretty close to what L considered a 'friend'; someone you could relate to and talk with, while he didn't have to act like someone else (meaning: more stupid than he actually was). The same went for Mello and the others, but they were like family. L never had that kind of connection with someone who was for about his (mental) age.

He gulped all the tea down his throat and stood up to get himself some more. Light was cute, so cute it filled L's heart with a warm feeling that made him want to sing, and a tie in his stomach that told him he felt more for Light than only affection.

Attraction…?

Light had a great body, and his eyes…L loved looking at them. But that make him feel attracted to Light…? The things he loved about Light were his appearance, his intelligence and also the soft side of Light that came to the surface every now and then. His personality, little traits Light would've had without Kira too, probably…L was determined to find out. He wanted to see Light and talk to him, and be close to him. He wanted to touch him, he had to know if Light's hair smelled as nice as the coconut shampoo he used (L had bought a bottle, just for the coconut scent. It just…wasn't the same), he wouldn't mind learning more about Light's body either.

These thoughts had always disgusted him when they were about most others.

L smiled.

Maybe he indeed felt attracted to Light.

* * *

That night, Light wasn't only haunted by Ryuga's eyes, but his whole appearance. The same dreams he always had about men he looked up to. Ryuga had appeared again, naked this time, and Light had noticed a slender frame and the same white skin as always. Ryuga smiled darkly and flipped Light to his stomach, spread Light's butt cheeks apart and did him. It was so realistic Light could only conclude he somehow ended up with Ryuga in some strange room with only sheets and darkness. Everything felt so real; Ryuga's hips slapping against Light's butt, his fingers holding Light's hips and pressing into the skin, the sheets underneath Light, even the feeling of Ryuga moving inside of him. The tension building up in his lower regions, his own throbbing hardness and the eventual release. It was all real.

After he came, Ryuga disappeared. Light looked around to see if he was there, but he couldn't find him. Ryuga. L.

Kira laughed at him from the back of his head. It didn't matter what Light dreamt. Ryuga would die soon.

* * *

_Ping._

Mello blinked.

'Ping'.

What was 'ping' supposed to mean…?

It was almost seven o'clock in the morning; Matt was still asleep next to him, snoring lightly and soft hairs growing on his upper lip needing to be shaved off. Mello had woken up just before the alarm would go off, and he shut it down before it actually would.

Why he hadn't woken up because of the alarm…?

He'd felt that 'ping' in the back of his mind. Almost a signal from the universe…

Suddenly, his eyes grew big, twice their normal size, and his lips formed an 'o'. He rushed to his mobile phone, grabbed it and dialed the number that connected L to Wammy's.

"Ryuzaki."

"L, it's me, Mello!"

Behind Mello, Matt mumbled something and shifted in his sleep. Mello didn't pay attention to it.

"Mello? Hello, happy to hear from you. How are you?"

Mello told him about the 'ping' he just felt in his head that it woke him up and that he wanted to know if it had something to do with a brunet. He heard L turn a little nervous, and kept on asking until L admitted the main suspect in the case was a brunet. After asking a little further, Mello knew that this Kira-suspect (meaning he was Kira, L was never wrong) was a young, pretty and genius brunet, smartest kid of his age in Japan, and after pushing so far that L's voice had became completely monotone, he knew L had watched him shower, and that he used silk shower gel and coconut shampoo.

"L, that's great!"

"…Why is the fact that Kira uses coconut shampoo great…?"

"You know what I mean, remember I said Kira had to be a hot and smart brunet? We found our fourth brother, L! Go and take his ass, it's yours!"

"…Mello…"

"What?"

"You know it's inappropriate to do things like that with a suspect?"

Mello laughed and pointed at his phone, though he knew L couldn't see it. Matt, who had stood up and was now bare-chested, stalked over to Mello and hugged him from behind. Mello soothed his arm. Matt was cuddly and the blond didn't dislike it at all.

"Aww, do you find it a pity? C'mon, we all know that L and Kira are meant to be together. Why on earth don't you freaking take him?"

L clacked with his tongue (he was gay, Mello had always known it, it was so damn clear from only his freakin' _manners_) and seemed to search for the right answer, but apparently couldn't find it, because he changed the subject.

"How are Matt and Near actually doing…?"

When he told L about some stupid things Near had done, Matt had talked to L for a while too and told about what happened to a kid in Wammy's who'd used a knife to shave himself, they hung up. Mello glanced at the clock. Almost nine o'clock. They had to hurry up, they were late for class and teachers seemed suspicious about him and Matt. They should be… heh.

L, however, was so hard in denial.

Mello now had something funny to tease Near with.

* * *

Another guy…Why was he there? The police shouldn't do anything by now…

Misa put the binoculars away as she pulled out a pen. 'Hirokazu Ukita' was about to die, how stupid, now he had to die…After forty seconds, while he was trying to get in the building of Sakura TV, he fell down on his knees. He was killed. His fault, he shouldn't have been against Kira…

Misa giggled and wondered if Kira was watching TV right now. Would he see it…? Maybe he'd try to contact Misa! She squealed and looked through the binoculars. They were carrying the body away. Misa had murdered someone, but that was for Kira, and Kira killed for the good. So Misa was doing good too.

She smiled at Rem, who was watching everything too, and touched the notebook next to her.

She'd find Kira, and thank him for avenging her parents' death.

* * *

A second Kira. What. The Fuck.

L rolled his eyes and took a sip from the twelfth cup of coffee today. His brain was still filled with clouds, but he could think clear enough to see this hadn't been the work of Kira himself (Light wouldn't be so stupid to destroy Kira's reputation like that). Choosing victims like that, idiots who only showed up in women's magazines…

He tilted his head to the side when he read the article about some drug addict who was popular in a few TV-shows, searched on his laptop if his drugs-incident was mentioned somewhere before Kira killed him and immediately decided this had to be either a woman or a gay guy. No one else would ever watch 'Fruity Celebs, Juicy Gossip'.

…Another gay guy than Yagami Light, Light would never choose a victim like that to represent Kira. Though L wouldn't be surprised if he read the EIGHTEEN too…

He took the March-issue from the EIGHTEEN and looked through it. His eye rested on the face of a blonde girl in a Gothic Lolita outfit. 'Misamisa'. He already figured Misamisa could possibly the second Kira; Her parents' murderer was killed by Kira, and Amane just went to Tokyo. She had a motive to support Kira, he was her hero, after all.

He put the issue away and decided that he first needed proof. He took the April issue and read both his and Kira's horoscope. Apparently L had to take a walk outside to clear his mind and think of new ideas, and Kira had to watch out for a Capricorn-stalker. He smirked. Misa Amane was a Capricorn.

Sure. L didn't believe those horoscopes, they were never true.

Nonetheless, half an hour later he was strolling around in Tokyo's streets, when the idea to add Yagami Light to the investigation team tomorrow entered his mind. Why hadn't he thought about that the last few days…? Now he felt stupid. It was probably because the second Kira wanted him dead and found a brilliant way to make him do that. L wasn't egoistic enough to let all those people die for him, but knowing that there was a chance that he was going to die made him restless. Somewhere he knew that he'd find a way to escape it, but he was once again reminded at the fact that he was mortal too, and he didn't want to be reminded at it in a way like this. He hated the feeling of Death's hot breath in his neck; he'd felt it so many times and he always found a way to escape, but he still hated the feeling with all his (still pounding) heart.

One thing he could do was showing his face to the world and convince the Kira's that they shouldn't kill him, for a reason L hadn't thought of yet. He was never going to corporate with them…

…Maybe that was a thing he could do, making them think he was going to corporate with them by supplying them information. Sure he could give them false information… He could tell the most important people he worked together with that he was actually trying to catch them, but of course this would make the world think he was lame.

…They'd probably think that the moment they saw he wasn't the middle-aged moustache man everyone imagined him to be. Sigh…

He didn't want to die, he wanted to see Mello and the others from Wammy's again, and he had to save Light. He couldn't die now.

L's thoughts immediately jumped back to Light. What would happen if he'd join the team? L would get more chances to talk to him and maybe save him from Kira, and L would get to know more about Light himself, and maybe smell his hair, out of curiosity. He wished to see him and talk to him again, to look into those amazing eyes and see if Light was there, if he could break through Kira and see the person the beautiful body belonged to behind those eyes.

He blinked. He shouldn't think like this. He felt attracted to Light, but he was still convinced of the fact that it was a trick his mind was playing on him, and that it was because he wanted to save Light from Kira because it would be a waste to waste him. Nothing more…

He really hoped Light would start helping them soon. Soichiro would come back that afternoon, L would ask him to call Light. Maybe he'd see him this evening…

When he walked in again, he read his horoscope again. He indeed had walked outside, his mind felt a lot clearer and he even thought of new ideas. Nothing special. Nothing special…

The pretty face of Misa Amane presented the Second Kira's from now on.


	11. Imagine

_A/N: Who cares if the day after Misa's tapes is a Saturday or not:3__ Thanks for DNlover02 for the 'So gay it hurts'. You're brilliant^^_

_**11. **__**Imagine**_

"Ryuga…"

Sayu giggled as she passed the door of her big brother's along her big brother's room. She'd always known Yagami Light wasn't straight, but nowadays it was so _clear_. She laidy her ear against the door to hearlisten, if she listenedcarefully very well she could hear, her bro's body moving on the sheets and his breath increasing. There it was again, he said "Ryuga"! He was doing things while thinking about Hideki Ryuga!

She chirped and jumped into her own room, hugging her poster from the pop star Hideki Ryuga.

"No one escapes your charm, Hideki-chan!"

After that she hurried down to prepare some tea. She wondered what her brother looked like right now, and couldn't wait to bring him some nice, hot tea.

* * *

Kira.

Kira who'd taken over Light.

And with that his body.

And with that his beauty and hotness.

It was so annoyingly distracting.

L decided it was better to imagine Kira as a fat and nerdy boy with big glasses. He was a genius,genius; he had to make it work. If he wanted to catch Kira, who was Yagami Light with his eyes peeking over too big glasses and his hotness being accentuated by clothes that looked to dull for him, what should L do…?

Jump on him and remove those idiot clothes, of course... But he could keep the glasses. They enlarged his eyes.

…What?

L stood up and excused himself, leaving the Task Force alone with their speculations. He walked right to the bathroom and gripped on the smooth, wooden hand basin with both hands, to glare at himself in the mirror. _'Idiot, what do you are you thinking…? You can't feel THAT for Yagami Light, he's Kira. You are L, and you have to catch him.'_

L had been thinking a lot of things like that lately. About Light's body, the shower scenes he somehow dreamt about a lot (and kept on thinking about all day long, too), about how it would feel to do things with him. Light was pretty sexy, actually.

The black-haired young man looking back to L formed the word 'idiot' with his ith his full but pale lips, and L glared back. He never really let go of the idea that there was another world behind that glass. There was no proof itthere wasn't, right? He tilted his head to the side, and the one he'd seen all his life did the same. Right, there was at least someone else who had his little problem. He smiled at his image to get a small smile back, realized how idiotic this must look for someone else watching him and his mirror image, shrugged and licked his own lips. That gave a totally different view.

L did it again. It looked sexy on him. He smirked darkly when he imagined what Kira would look like if he were gay, and saw L doing this. This smile looked sexy too. L's smile got broader when he realized that, but stopped it there. This just looked plain creepy. He'd save that one for when he had Kira pinned against the wall or underneath beneath him, and wanted to show him he was defeated.

Perfect.

L looked around, though he knew there was no one watching him, only himself., Aand that mirror image was always doing the same idiotic things he did, so _he_ couldn't complain. He stuck his tongue out to the mirror and walked away, flushed down the toilet to make sure Matsuda wouldn't ask what he'd done in the bathroom (Matsuda talked way too much about things like that), and went back to the task force. Matsuda smiled when he saw him.

"Hey, that took long! Did you eat that pastry from last lunch too? It made _my_ bowels feel like-"

"I believe that was too much information, Matsuda-san," L mumbled when he sat down in his usual crouch. "I have camecome to another conclusion."

Yeah, to what conclusionn had he came, actually…? He had to come up with something now. MaybeProbably: 'MyHis mirror image was just as perverted as I amhe was'. He wasn't alone with his dirty little problems.

Right, it had to have something to do with Kira. his Kira-conclusion.

"I believe I want Light-kun to continue helping us, he'll be a great help. With his reasoning abilities, we'll catch the second Kira in no time. ; Aand of course, if he is Kira, we'll have a fairly big good chance to find out. Therefore, I want him to become a full member of the investigation team."

He'd soon get to see more Kira.

The pretty face and body of Yagami Light.

* * *

The pretty face and body of Misa Amane…

Rem stared at Misa, who was brushing her hair, only a lace bra and a string on her small body. She was chatting about how Kira had to be, staring at herself and not noticing that Rem was checking her out. The bulging of her small breasts attracted Rem's gaze up to the point where she started drooling, and Misa stood up to put on a see-through top that didn't hide anything. She stared at herself in the mirror and put her hands on her hips, turning and posing until Rem proposed she'd go asleep, if she'd continue like this…

"You're right! Misa has to go to asleep now, she has to be fit when Kira sends her a message!"

She threw the top over her head and the bra fell to the ground too, and Misa fell down upon her bed. Rem didn't say anything, staring at the soft-looking skin of Misa's…chest. If only Rem could touch…

Misa giggled.

"What's wrong, Rem, you're female too! Don't you have curves?"

Rem grunted (it wasn't like she could do something else) that she pitied she wasn't soft, and Misa giggled again.

"Do shinigami's fall for curves, Rem?"

Rem scratched the back of her head. She didn't know, other shinigami's didn't fall in love for as far as she knew (Gelus, maybe, but Rem preferred thinking of him as asexual). Maybe she should ask Ryuk, she knew he was behind all this Kira-stuff. Rem did fall for Misa's curves, anyway…

"I don't know. Shinigami usually don't have sexual feelings towards each other. Maybe there are shinigami who fall for curves, I don't know."

Misa crossed her arms in front of her chest and crept under the covers, turning the light off. "Oh, well. Goodnight, Rem!3"

Rem wondered how on earth people could_ live_ with feelings.

* * *

L woke up at ten o'clock in the morning, the sun shining in his eyes because of some curtains he'd apparently forgotten to close thatyesterday night. The fact that he woke up meant he'd actually slept…? The room was just as expensive and sophisticated as he was used to,to; it smelled like lavender and a little like sleep.

HeL smirked and quickly stood up, took the blankets and put them somewhere the cleaners would find them. After that he showered himself, and realized how _good_ he felt. The tension in his core had faded,faded and it was now a pleasurable tingle that made him feel he was feel alive. Plus, he felt so happy he wanted to sing, which was pretty unusual for him. Light would be coming to the headquarters today, again… He felt like someone else had crept in his head and took over his body. It felt _so_ vivid, suddenly, he could think perfectly clear and there was a smile on his face he just couldn't wipe away. It was as if the sun shone in his head again.

He bounced back into the sleeping room, to find Matsuda gawking at him. _Why_ wasn't he surprised…?

"Matsuda-san, what brings you into my bedroom?"

The cop blushed, looking at L insecurely.

"U-um, Ryuzaki…? Are you okay…?"

L smiled. "Yes, I'm perfectly fine, why do you ask?"

Matsuda blinked, and L saw the other's eyes roam over his wet body.

"You seem…happy today…"

L smiled again. "Yes, of course. The sun is shining. You should be happy too, Matsuda-san."

He started drying himself with the big towel he'd taken with him, not caring for Matsuda who stared at his body as if he'd never seen another male before.

"U-u-uhm, do you need something, Ryuzaki…?"

'_Get me Yagami Light, dripping and smelling like coconut shampoo.'_

"Nothing extraordinary, Matsuda-san. Maybe you could prepare some coffee?"

Matsuda blinked and tore his eyes away from L's lower regions. "O-oh, sure…"

He walked away, and L wished Light would've walked in instead of Matsuda. Light was gay for sure, L was curious as to for his reaction to find another male naked and dripping after a hot shower. And though he didn't look like the average beach boy was L very well aware of his effect on others, and knew that there were enough people who'd love to see him like this. He wondered what Light would think about that.

He pulled on a clean pair of boxers, jeans and a shirt and walked (not slouched, _walked_) to the main room, to find the task force members with the exception of Soichiro, who was home to pick up Light and see his wife. L munched on a piece of cake and gulped coffee down his throat as breakfast, half listening to the discussions between Aizawa and Mogi and half thinking about Light. He'd be here within a few hours, L was excited…

When Soichiro called to say that they were almost there, L felt the tension in his core he'd experienced ealier, returnbefore come back. Light would be there within minutes…

He stood up when Soichiro and Light walked in, greeting both of them, but mostly turning to Light. He told them to sit down on the couch and L himself took place in the chair he liked, so that Light had to turn a little to face him. L was curious how many times Light's eyes would direct themselves at him. He started talking about the second Kira and what he expected him to do next, and Light joined the conversation by finishing L's sentences so fluently it was as if they'd talked many times before, so many times more than they actually had. L also finished Light's sentences; they were all logical to him, and Light's voice was dynamic and kept L focused on the things they were discussing. It was an enjoyable conversation, but after a while Aizawa coughed and said there were other people in the room too.

"Hey, we know you're geniuses, but we're not, and we want to catch Kira too. Talk like you're normal, like we are, okay?"

Light looked surprised that someone could be that blunt, but L agreed with Aizawa.

"We'll try to, now don't we, Light-kun?"

The brunet nodded and looked at Aizawa, expecting him to say something, but Aizawa stayed quiet.

"What, do you want me to throw in some smart theory or something? I couldn't follow anything of what you were saying the last three minutes."

L watched how Light smiled politely and started explaining everything he and L had just discussed (it took him ten minutes to make everything clear to Aizawa), giving L the time to watch him as he spoke. Light kept his eyes on Aizawa all the time, most likely to see if he still understood what Light was saying. L figured it was something Light had to do all the time when talking to others. He knew that feeling, it was annoying and tiring to explain everything until it made you feel dumb. L usually talked to people with brains, and they already annoyed him. He wondered how Light had to feel around all those other teens with their hormone-crazed brains…

Hormones? L also felt attracted to Light and his body…

Light also didn't use his hands when explaining something he didn't find interesting. When he was explaining Aizawa things that he knew so well it bored him, his slim, tanned hands laid in his lap without doing anything. But when he was explaining something he and L just discussed with interest, he leaned forward and started using his hands, not making gestures that really made sense or became disturbing, but moving his hands around, making L follow them with his eyes. Light was very entertaining and interesting to watch. Most people would only pay attention to his good looks, but L saw what was behind him and found that rather enjoying too.

Light was coming to the surface.

The conversation continued, and L joined in again, liking Light more and more. After a while he asked if anyone wanted cake, and Light stood up.

"Sure, want me to take some for the others too?"

Mogi, Aizawa and Matsuda seemed disturbed that Light didn't ask them right in their faces, but L didn't pay attention to them either and said he'd help Light. They walked to the kitchen where he heard the task force members start a simple-minded discussion again. He smiled at Light.

"It's annoying when they don't understand you, isn't it?"

Light smiled at L, and his heart screamed in delight when he saw the eyes he liked so much, the eyes from the person on L's favorite picture.

"Yeah. It's tiring to explain things while they're so clear to me…Sometimes I wish I weren't as smart as I am."

The look in Light's eyes made L's delighted heart now melt with affection. L smiled back, understanding, and looked at the water boiler he'd just put water in. It already started steaming,steaming,; poorly…He wished he could stay here with Light until night fell.

"Sometimes I feel the same, but if I weren't, no one would take me seriously with my appearance. I can be who I am like this, and there are people I can relate to, luckily."

Light blinked. "Who?"

He didn't ask it because he was Kira, L knew that very well. It was just that Light still was Kira.

"I can't tell you that, because you might use that information to your advance in order to kill me."

He enjoyed and pitied the insulted (and slightly hurt) look on Light's face at the same time. He wondered what he was thinking right now. Maybe he was droning over the way he could make L tell things like that…?

"I understand."

He didn't ask any furtherer. He probably felt L wouldn't tell anything anyway, he knew asking would raise his suspicion of being Kira with whatever number L would throw at it, and he most likely really understood it too. L smiled again.

"Do you want a piece of cherry pie, Light-kun?"

Light's eyes really smiled when he saw the cherry pie L was taking out of the fridge, L saw it. His heart melted even further. Kira really hadn't taken over some parts of Light. Yet.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Want me to help slicing it…?"

L took a knife and started slicing the pie into pieces, when Light took the knife out of his hand.

"Let me slice it. You can do the coffee."

L frowned. "I want to slice the pie. You can do the tea."

Light frowned too, holding the knife close to his chest. "No, I want to slice the pie. There's the tea, you prepare it!"

Apparently he liked slicing pies as much as L did, and also noticed how stupid he was acting, because he suddenly blushed heavily before his face became a serious (but still a nice tanned pink) mask. Kira's work, definitely. L felt his eyes narrow.

"If you don't mind, I'll take the knife now, and you're gonna prepare tea. The rest is waiting for us, Light-kun."

He took the knife out of Light's beautifully tanned hands (they were soft and warm, L noticed as he touched them by accident) and started slicing the pie. He loved it; it was great to feel his mouth watering while the smell of cherry pie penetrated his nostrils, the sight of the delicious treasure being prepared by his own hands.

And of course it was fun to slice pie into pieces. Who didn't love that?

He asked Light innocently how big he wanted his piece, and Light's eyes narrowed when he said he wanted a medium one. L took a quarter of the pie and put it on a big plate for himself, and put eights of the deliciousness on smaller plates for Aizawa, Matsuda, Soichiro, Mogi and Light. L had sent Watari on a free day. He know it was a stupid thing to do just after some Second Kira sent tapes to a video station, when they already sent a reply, and especially when Light/Kira was here too, but he'd felt like Watari deserved a break.

And…maybe he'd just anticipated he and Light would get to talk in the kitchen if they'd have to prepare 'lunch' themselves. He was pretty close, actually; L noticed a small and innocent zit next to his nose he'd obviously tried to cover with makeup. There was no doubt anymore; Yagami Light was gayer than gay. Even if there were straight guys in the world who used makeup (L had used eyeliner for half his life, but he didn't count as 'straight', so…), the lightly pouting pretty-boy in front of L was _gay_. So gay it hurt.

L noticed Light hadn't done the coffee yet, so prepared it himself and put it on a tray, when Light said he'd do it and took it out of L's hands. Their hands touched once again, and L felt the skin Light touched tingle lightly. The brunet frowned when he felt how heavy it was, but L let him, watching Light carrying the tray with the golden handles that accentuated Light's tan. A maid costume and it would be perfect…

He was thinking perverted things again.

The rest of the day was relaxed, they talked about Kira and Light obviously had fun listening to the Task Force members. Sometimes they could be handy, there was work L needed others for, but Light was of course Kira and when someone said something wrong, he saw something evil smile in these eyes. He didn't like it. Light had to be pure.

When the end of the day was about to arrive, L started to become irritated by the idea that Light would leave. He really, _really _liked talking to him, watching him and just being with him, and without Light he'd end up wishing he were around anyway. He didn't even dream about asking Light to stay, he wasn't stupid and he knew how suspicious it would sound.

L let Light go after thanking him, watching Soichiro's car drive away, separating him from L, making him want to so he wanted to run after him, or put some cameras back in Light's room and shower to watch him. Heh. He knew how perverted he was by thinking that, but he'd liked Light's little show…

He suddenly remembered the fragment was still on his laptop. He'd placed the 'suspicious' moments of all the security tapes he'd seen there, and somehow the Yagami bathroom was 'suspicious' too. It had to be his subconsciousnesssub consciousness whothat'd put it there…

He sent the rest of the task force away, took his laptop and searched for the fragment where Light was masturbating in the shower. There it was…L smirked when he opened the file and pressed the 'play'-button. There he was,. Light was walking in with the big tent in the front of his jeans, and that furious look in his eyes. L's pants tightened when he saw it, and even more when Light threw all his clothes off and his nudity was glowing off L's laptop screen, making L wonder how on earth he could've watched this without doing anything. His jeans were soon laying on the carpet of the slightly old-fashioned suite he was in today, and Light turned the shower on and started pumping himself, his long and athletic legs tensing, making L grab his throbbing cock and do the same. Light leaned his head back, the water tracing the shape of the muscles underneath his taut skin, Light's face frowning and his eyebrows twitching, the wet, brunet locks sticking to his face and neck. L pumped in sync with Light, his shirt getting in the way and being removed too. He heard his own breath go faster too and his stomach twitched lightly aswhen he heard how perverted and animalistic he sounded, happy there was no one around to see him doing this.

L and Light came at the same moment, and L managed to grab his shirt to come on before he'd ruin the expensive sheets. He panted and watched Light close his eyes in contentment, and turn the shower a little warmer. L watched him wash his hair, add conditioner (and of course, shower gel with certain feminine contents shouldn't be forgotten either) and dry that gorgeous body. L wished he could help him and caress Light's naked body. His hair was still damp after he dried it, and L watched him walk back to his room, taking boxers out of his closet and fell asleep with a content and angelic face. L adored it. Light was an angel.

He turned the laptop off and wondered what to do with the shirt. He decided to put it into the laundry basket after he washed most of the sticky semen off his shirt himself, showered until he was drying himself like Light had done. He caressed his own belly and imagined it was Light's… He wondered what the brunet would be doing right now. Would these hormones be driving him crazy too, at the moment…? Would he be jerking in the shower, imagining someone was watching him…? Would he be asleep, like on the video…? L didn't know, and he decided it was no use to try to find out. He'd better try to go asleep.

Of course it didn't work, and L kept on fantasizing about Light, until Watari, whose free day was over, came in to tell him breakfast was ready.

* * *

"Hey, Yagami!"

It was a sunny day, the wind blew softly and the softness of the weather was noticeable in the moods of most persons around Light. His mother, his sister, he'd swear even Ryuga had brightened a little. Light was walking home alone, the constant battle between Kira and Light alive and well in his head. Kira wanted to kill L. But Light didn't want to. He really didn't want to kill L, especially not since their small-talk in the kitchen. He'd felt a strong connection with him since then… L understood him.

He turned around to see who called him, and a guy from the university was running at him. He knew that guy…He always carried a camera with him. The guy stopped in front of Light and smiled at him.

"You and Ryuga are friends, aren't you?"

Light blinked. "True, why?"

The guy handed Light an envelope, smiling proudly.

"Because of this. Open it."

Light frowned, not liking to be commanded, but opened the envelope nonetheless. His mouth fell open when he saw it.

A picture.

With L on it.

L, his black hair moving on the wind, the sun lighting up his already white skin, his face blank but his dark eyes dreamy and directed at the sky. Light wasn't an expert in photography, but he clearly saw this was a masterpiece. He stared at it, speechlessly, all he could think about the picture in his hand.

"Pretty, isn't it? I know he doesn't like to be photographed, but he was so special I had to do this. You can have it, I have one too, but I'm not gonna publish it when he doesn't like it for some reason. Maybe he has a real reason why he doesn't want to."

He moved a little closer, winking at Light.

"Society thinks different about it, but there's nothing wrong with guy love, eh. Good luck."

He left Light, turning around and waving at him. Light watched him for a few seconds before he looked at the picture again. L… 'Pretty' wasn't the right word. Beautiful. Extraordinary.

…L.

…

It was the only word describing the picture. L.

Kira mumbled something, and Light blinked. No. He didn't feel this for L. L wasn't pretty, beautiful or extraordinary. He was Light's rival and he had to be killed. He felt a pang in his heart when he thought about that, but denied it.

He smirked, walked to a trash bin and threw the amazing picture of L in it, though he had to force his body to do so, every fiber screaming him not to. He walked away, a regret he denied too growing every second.

Twenty seconds later he was covered in dirt and germs, eww, feeling around between banana skins and chewing gum others had used, and _eww_, was that old milk he was smelling…?

Ah, finally! He smiled in delight when he felt the texture of the picture, pulling it out and stared at it. L, somehow still perfectly clean and looking as miraculous as he did. Light sighed.

"You're fine, Ryuzaki…"

Light managed to push Kira away for a little time, allowing himself to dream about the person he liked so much.

Behind a few bushes, the photographer smiled and watched the Ryuga-devoted guy walk away, the picture close to his chest.


End file.
